The Wallflower
by jenpen1027
Summary: Future fic revolving around Kelsi and Ryan. Will be some T&G, T&C, S&Z and J&M. Complete!
1. Chapter 1

_**Dedicated to all wallflowers :-)**_

_**Disclaimer for the whole story...I don't own HSM. (That said, if Disney wants to give it to me...I accept!)**_

**Two Years Ago**

Kelsi Nielson was scared. Which wasn't that much of a surprise, for Kelsi found fear and nerves getting the best of her on numerous occasions. She honestly couldn't even believe she was at the center of the conversation flowing all around her. And why couldn't she believe this? Well to put it simply, Kelsi was a wallflower. A very talented wallflower, whose friend's did notice and appreciate her...but a wallflower just the same. And Kelsi didn't mind, she wasn't one to strive to be the center of anyone's attention. Okay, that's not completely true, there was one person she wanted to notice her amongst all others. And that said person also seemed to be at the center of the conversation taking place all around her.

"Kels, just go up and talk to him. I mean, you guys are best friends...chances are he feels the same way."

Kelsi looked at Martha like she had lost her mind. Martha was one of Kelsi's best friends, had been since kindergarten. They used to be wallflowers together...until Martha joined the cheerleading squad in high school and started dating one of the star basketball players. Martha had the ability to mesh into just about every aspect of life. That was one of the qualities Kelsi admired most about her friend.

"Kelsi, I agree with Martha. It's high time you let that man know how you feel."

That comment came from Taylor, another close friend of Kelsi's. Taylor had just graduated from Yale...with honors. She had a no-nonsense attitude that Kelsi so envied. If Taylor had a thought or opinion, you would be aware of it within 2 seconds. (If not sooner.) And while Taylor was honest, (sometimes brutally so) she was also loyal. And in Kelsi's opinion, loyalty was one of the best qualities to have in a friend.

"C'mon you guys, stop pressuring her. She'll tell him when she's ready. Why don't we just go back inside and enjoy the party."

The lyrical voice that accompanied the latest comment belonged to Gabriella. Gabriella had to be the sweetest person Kelsi knew. And not because she had just attempted to change the direction of the conversation. (Though Kelsi greatly appreciated that.) Chances were if you looked up the word "kind" or "sweet" in the dictionary, you would find a picture of Gabby.

Kelsi looked at the faces of her three closest girlfriends. She saw concern, impatience and love on all of their features. And while Kelsi was grateful for the last emotion present, she definitely understood the other two. After all, the three friends had listened to Kelsi confide about her crush on Ryan Evans for the last 5+ years. And the word "confide" pretty much summed up the magnitude of what Kelsi had done about her crush. Kelsi definitely fell under the category of "all talk, no action". That's not to say she didn't try to tell Ryan how she felt. Kelsi couldn't even start to count the amount of times she had attempted to share her feelings with Ryan. Unfortunately, all of those "attempts" occurred with heavy subtext. The words "I am in love with you" or even "I like you...a lot" were never uttered. Just the thought of saying anything so brazen made Kelsi feel completely naked. That just wasn't her way. So instead she chose to smile and be a great friend to Ryan. Never giving up hope that he would see by simply looking at her that she was madly and irrevocably in love with him. She had been waiting for the grand realization for a very long time. So long in fact, that her friends were under the impression that "Kelsi's way" was simply not working, and a "new way" had to come into play...soon. The annoying thing was, Kelsi knew they were right.

"Okay...I'll tell Ryan tonight." Kelsi said, her bespectacled blue eyes bright with nerves.

The three girls looked at Kelsi in shock. There had been many times in the past they had unsuccessfully tried to convince the petite girl to share her feeling with Ryan, each time their ideas had been rejected...until now.

Gabby was the first to get over her surprise.

"Are you sure Kelsi? You shouldn't do this if you are feeling pressured." Gabby said the last comment while giving a disapproving glance to Taylor and Martha.

Gabby understood why the other two girls felt the need to counsel Kelsi, she just didn't always think their advice was wise. What may seem like an appropriate action for Taylor and Martha, might not be for Kelsi. Kelsi was like the little sister of the group, and Gabby had a fierce need to protect her. She couldn't help laughing quietly to herself at that last thought; it seemed the boy's brotherly affection for Kelsi had rubbed off on her.

Taylor and Martha both felt a little guilty upon receiving "the look" from Gabby. They thought the world of Kelsi, they just wanted her to be happy and find love.

"Gabby's right Kels, if you aren't ready to talk to Ryan, you shouldn't. We didn't mean to pressure you." Martha said, her lips spreading in an apologetic smile.

"Yeah, Kelsi, I'm sorry. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in the cause I kind of forget about the feelings that may be involved. You shouldn't do anything you aren't ready to do." Taylor said, her big brown eyes conveying her apology.

Now it was Kelsi's turn to exhibit shock...who were these three girls and what had they done with her friends? (Well except for Gabby, she was still acting normal.)

"Wait, let me get this straight. I have finally stated that I am ready to talk to Ryan. And by "talk" I don't mean "this is some weather we're having," I am thinking more along the lines of "Ryan, I have feelings for you," and you are telling me _not _to? Not 5 minutes ago weren't you listing all of the reasons why I _should_ talk to Ryan? And now...here I am, ready to talk...and you say "don't do it?" I am so utterly confused by what it is exactly I should do." Kelsi paused to take a much needed breath. As she noticed Gabby about to say something, she quickly barreled on before she lost her nerve. "So now I am going to go inside the Evans' house and find Ryan in the midst of this chaotic party and I am going to tell him how I feel...while I still have this completely out of character burst of confidence."

And with that final comment, Kelsi walked into the house.

Gabby, Taylor and Martha watched Kelsi's retreating back...three pairs of brown eyes huge with wonder. Gabby couldn't believe Kelsi had actually said all of that, and truth be told she could completely see Kelsi following through with her plan. Like Gabby, Martha didn't think Kelsi was going to back out this time. And she was so proud of her friend, it was about time. Unlike her two friends, Taylor decided to vocalize her thoughts out loud.

"I completely lost count of how many run-on sentences were included in that monologue."

"_Taylor!_" Both Gabby and Martha chorused, turning their gazes to stare incredulously at Taylor.

"What? Gabby you know you were secretly thinking that too." Taylor said defensively.

Gabby had the grace to giggle.

"Maybe, but I certainly didn't vocalize the thought." Gabby responded with a smile.

"Well, I'm proud of our girl. Ryan would be absolutely crazy not to sweep her right off her feet." Martha said with a grin, breezily changing the subject slightly.

"I couldn't agree more." Taylor replied, the warmth she felt for the small girl evident in her eyes.

"Let's just hope this goes well, otherwise we are going to have some very angry basketball players on our hands." Gabby stated, worry creeping into her tone.

The three friends all shared a concerned look, all individually praying the conversation went well between their favorite composer and choreographer.

----------------------------------------------------------

The minute Kelsi walked through the sliding glass doors that separated the backyard from the living room, she wanted to turn around. She couldn't help thinking that this was a huge mistake. No, "huge" was to insignificant a word to describe this mistake..."massive" seemed a better fit. She thought of going back to her friends and telling them quite simply that she couldn't talk to Ryan; that she wasn't ready. But she didn't. Because Kelsi knew deep down if she didn't do it now, chances were she was never going to. And Kelsi wanted to experience reciprocated love so badly...one sided love was not that enjoyable at all. So, she continued to walk into the room.

"Hey Small Person! I thought you were having girl time outside?"

Kelsi turned to her right with a surprised jump, her eyes focusing on a large curly fro before lowering to the friendly brown eyes under the large mane of hair.

"Hi Chad." Kelsi said, a blush heightening her cheeks for allowing a simple greeting to startle her. "Um...we were. I mean, they still are, but I'm not." Kelsi's cheeks turned a deeper shade of pink as she heard the nervous ramble that couldn't seem to stop erupting from her mouth.

Chad laid a comforting hand on Kelsi's shoulder.

"Kelsi, are you okay?" Chad asked, the concern apparent on his features.

"Oh, I'm fine." Kelsi answered a little too loudly, wincing before she continued. "Have you seen Ryan?"

"Right." Chad said slowly, drawing out the word in a way that suggested he didn't believe a word she was saying. "I think Evans is upstairs with his sister."

"Oh, okay...thanks." Kelsi looked at Chad, an awkward silence filling the space between the two. "Well, I'm gonna go find him." And with that parting comment, Kelsi fled Chad's side as fast as humanly possible.

Troy walked up to Chad, wondering why Kelsi had seemed to be in such a hurry to run away.

"What's up with the Playmaker?" Troy asked, his blue eyes following her small form up the stairs.

"Hell if I know." Chad said, the confusion over the whole exchange still visible on his features.

Gabby and Taylor picked that exact moment to walk up to their boyfriends. Troy leaned down to receive Gabby's sweet kiss, while Chad supported Taylor's body as she leaned back against him.

"Hey, do you girls know what's up with Kelsi? She's acting strange." Chad asked, immediately feeling Taylor's body stiffen up.

Troy noticed that Gabby's smile just seemed to get brighter...like she was trying to hide something.

"Taylor, I have to use the bathroom." Gabby said by way of distraction.

Taylor needed no further urging...she did not want to be the one to tell the boys about Ryan and Kelsi's impending conversation.

"Great, I'll come with you." Taylor practically screamed as she quickly followed Gabby out of the room.

Troy and Chad looked at each other with duo looks of bafflement.

"That was weird..." Chad started.

"Yeah." Troy finished.

------------------------------------------------

Completely unaware of the confusion she had left in her wake, Kelsi quickly made her way up the stairs. She was no longer taking her time reaching Ryan; she didn't need another uncomfortable moment with a friend due to her overpowering nerves. Kelsi heard Ryan before she saw him, the soft chords of the piano drifting under the closed door. She wasn't surprised when she realized she was outside the family's music room. Of course, that's where Ryan would be. Kelsi knew his tendencies well enough to know Ryan frequently needed to find escape routes during big parties. As much as he loved to socialize, he also craved quiet time to just be alone with his thoughts. She knocked quietly on the door, not wanting to disturb his solitude.

"Come in." Ryan said, knowing before she entered who was at the door.

Only one person other than his sister Sharpay knew about his need to remove himself every so often from social situations. And seeing as he had just left Sharpay to her boyfriend Zeke's attention, he knew it had to be Kelsi knocking softly at the door. And to be honest, Kelsi was exactly who he wanted to spend time with. It was still sometimes surprising to him how much the small girl's friendship had come to mean to him. He couldn't imagine his life without Kelsi in it. Over the course of their college career at Juilliard, Kelsi had become his very best friend.

Ryan watched as the petite composer shyly entered the room. A slight grin touched his lips as he wondered why on earth Kelsi was still shy around him. They were in each other's company about as often as they were alone. Ryan pushed the thought aside as he took a moment to really look at his friend. He immediately recognized the insecurity in her big blue eyes and mannerisms. She entered the room at a slow pace, her finger nervously twining a long brunette curl around her finger. There was only one way to penetrate that shy reserve.

"Hey you, I was hoping you'd find your way up here. I am in desperate need of a partner." Ryan said, patting the space next to him on the piano bench.

Kelsi didn't need any further coaxing as she made her way towards the beautiful grand piano. She sat down next to Ryan, accustomed to the heat that rushed through her body the moment the side of her thigh touched his. Conversation wasn't necessary as the two friends played the piano. They moved together in perfect accordance as they shifted naturally from number to number. Both friends letting themselves get lost in the music as they harmonized perfectly. It was exactly what Kelsi needed. If anything possessed the power to break down her defenses, it was music. As they finished the last refrain to "Music of the Night", Kelsi knew now was the time to tell Ryan her feelings. She turned to face him, watching his fingers play across the piano keys. He really was beautiful. His blond hair was shining in the dim lamp-lit room, adding an extra sparkle to his blue eyes. His lips were curved in a sweet smile that seemed to convey how happy he was at that exact moment. Sometime during the course of their time at Juilliard, Ryan had made the physical shift from boy to man. His profile was more defined as his long fingers worked the piano keys effortlessly. Kelsi felt her breath hitch as she dealt with the full realization regarding what she was about to do. After she shared her feelings with Ryan, everything was sure to change. And though she was so scared of her friend's reaction, she knew it was time. She was desperate to know if Ryan felt any of the same feelings for her that she felt for him.

"I think these are going to be some of my best memories from college." Kelsi said, a soft shy smile on her lips.

Ryan stopped playing and turned to face his friend. He felt an odd electric current run through his body as his eyes met hers. Kelsi had the most amazing eyes, they reminded him of the ocean, big and blue...and so easy to get lost in. Ryan quickly shook off the romantic thought, wondering where it had come from.

"Well, we'll be creating many more memories when we go back to New York. You are still planning on going back right?" Ryan asked with an undertone of uncertainty.

"Oh yes, of course." Kelsi answered, quick to reassure.

Kelsi and Ryan had spent many late nights planning their futures. It always seemed that their futures were naturally entwined, with Kelsi composing and Ryan choreographing.

Kelsi felt a burst of courage from the uncertainty she had recognized in Ryan's voice.

"What sort of memories do you think we will be making in our future?" Kelsi asked softly, her face turned towards Ryan's, attempting to read his every expression.

"Pretty much around the same lines as the ones we have already made...you and I together, taking New York by storm." Ryan said, pausing to push a stray curl behind Kelsi's ear. He secretly loved how disheveled his friend's hair was.

Kelsi tried to swallow past the lump in her throat as she focused on elaborating her last loaded question.

"Well, when you say "together"...exactly in what capacity do you mean?" Kelsi couldn't believe she had just asked that. Refrains of "Oh God, Oh God, Oh God" kept echoing in her head. She cursed her naturally shy state when she felt a rush of heat flood her body...a sure sign a blush was covering her features.

Ryan stared at Kelsi, alarm bells ringing in his head. Somehow in the last ten seconds their conversation had shifted into dangerous territory...not just dangerous, but also confusing territory. Ryan took in Kelsi's heightened color and her quickening breath, as he felt his own heart rate start to accelerate. But why was that happening? This was Kelsi, his best friend Kelsi...the girl who knew him better than anyone else. He wasn't accustomed to these strange feelings in regards to Kelsi...why did he suddenly feel warm all over? Oh God, she had asked him a question...what was it?

"Ryan?" Kelsi asked, uncertainty quickly making its way into her expression.

Ryan struggled to answer Kelsi...but he didn't know how. He didn't have an answer. This was all so fast, and he wasn't ready or expecting this...God...even his thoughts were a mess. Ryan was suddenly realizing how close he and Kelsi were sitting on the piano bench, it was almost as if his body craved the nearness of hers. Whoa...this was not what he had planned.

The minute the door opened, Ryan tore himself from his seat next to Kelsi. Both he and Kelsi shifted their overwhelmed gazes to the woman entering the room.

When Ryan recognized who it was, an even bigger wave of confusion seemed to internally topple him over.

When Kelsi saw who was at the door all color left her body and panic started to set in. She felt the hostile look the woman gave her, it was a look she had grown accustomed to in the last two years. When Kelsi saw what was on the woman's left ring finger her whole mind went numb. She looked at Ryan, her blue eyes huge, tears starting to cloud her vision. Feelings of disbelief filled her body as she realized what was happening. She struggled to catch her breath as she looked at Ryan, slowly shaking her head "no". She didn't think she had words left in her body, so she was quite surprised when she found some leaving her mouth.

"R-Ryan, y-you're....engaged aren't you?

Ryan just stared helplessly at Kelsi. He didn't know what was happening. But somehow feelings he did not know were there seemed to have arisen in regards to his best friend. He had been so excited to share the news of his and Amanda's engagement...but now...he didn't know. He doubted he knew the answer to anything right now.

Amanda chose that exact moment to cut in. She had never liked Kelsi, and for good reason. Kelsi was a threat...a complete and utter threat to everything that Amanda wanted for her future. And the one thing Amanda wanted more than anything was Ryan.

"Isn't it wonderful." Amanda started in a voice made of ice, moving to put her arm around Ryan's waist. "Ryan wanted to wait until later tonight to share the news, but I got impatient and had to try the ring on again. It's beautiful isn't it?"

Kelsi was not a violent person, in fact she had never really had a violent thought ever in her life. Not even concerning Sharpay. But in that moment, as Kelsi watched Amanda reach her hand across the expanse of the room and stick it right under the smaller girl's face...

Kelsi stopped her mind from finishing the thought. Right now self preservation was in the forefront of her mind. She secretly wondered if any of the said preservation was still salvageable.

"Congratulations. I hope you two are very happy together. I-I have to go now." Kelsi thought that sounded pretty together, she was completely oblivious to the tears that were flowing freely down her cheeks. Kelsi chided herself not to start running until she was out of the room. The minute her feet hit the hallway, she took off as fast as possible.

Ryan felt like he had been punched in the gut. He watched his best friend flee from the room, tears clouding her vision. Without a second thought, he took off after her.

"Kelsi...wait!" Ryan yelled. Mindful that she probably couldn't hear him over the noise of the party.

Amanda, realizing what exactly was happening, flew into action.

"Ryan! Come back here!" Amanda yelled, as she took off after her fiancée.

Kelsi was not aware of Ryan chasing after her, or of Amanda chasing Ryan...all she was focused on was getting to the sanctuary of her car. She passed her friends on the way out, quickly brushing off their hands as they tried to slow her down. She felt the cool night air hit her face the moment she was out of the house. That's when she heard him call her name.

Kelsi! Ryan yelled her name as loud as he could. Completely unaware of the audience that was quickly forming.

Amanda tried to push her way through the throngs of people, but found it impossible. She looked up to give the people standing in front of her a complete ear lashing...and then stopped.

Troy, Gabby, Chad, Taylor, Jason, Martha, Zeke and even Sharpay stood in her way.

Sharpay sauntered her way towards Amanda.

"_You_ are going to let my brother talk to his _best_ friend." Sharpay stated in a manner that left no room to question her feelings regarding her brother's fiancée. There was room for only one diva in her family...and _she_ was it.

Amanda gave the group the dirtiest look imaginable before heading back into the house.

Sharpay quickly clapped her hands together.

"Okay, that's handled, now let's watch the show." She said with a movie star grin.

The group of friends turned towards Kelsi and Ryan, watching as the shy composer slowed down enough to allow Ryan to catch up with her.

Ryan ran up to Kelsi, stopping a few feet away. Now that he had caught her, he was at a loss as to what to say.

"I'm sorry, I should have told you about Amanda and I." Ryan started.

Kelsi allowed her gaze to shift from the ground up to Ryan's eyes, taking in his still confused expression.

"It's okay. I understand...I mean...i-it was between the two of you anyway. I-I hope you are both really happy." Kelsi said the last part with half a sob.

"Kelsi, I...I..." Ryan stopped, not really knowing what to say. So many emotions seemed to be flying through his head and heart. He really needed a moment alone to figure all of this out. He didn't want to say something in the spur of the moment and have to retract it later. And he certainly did not want to hurt the small girl standing in front of him any more.

"Ryan s-stop. You have a lot you need to figure out. And I don't think I can be here while you are doing it." Kelsi said, her heart seemed to be breaking all over again.

"What are you saying Kels?" Ryan said, panic making his voice raise in pitch.

As Kelsi answered Ryan, she felt certainty in what she was saying. She needed to take care of herself. For once, she had to put herself first.

"I am going to go." Kelsi's said, using the palms of her hands to brush the tears away from her face.

"Go? Go where? Home? What are you saying?" Ryan questioned, not caring if he sounded like a raving lunatic. He didn't know _what_ exactly he felt for Kelsi, but he did know he didn't want her to leave.

"I don't know yet Ryan. But you shouldn't worry about that. You have a lot of stuff to figure out here. I mean, your engaged...and I am sure your fiancée is less than thrilled right now." Kelsi said slowly, almost forcing herself to say every word.

"Kelsi, please don't leave...don't leave me." Ryan finished.

Kelsi's heart broke even more as she heard Ryan's request. What she would have given to hear those exact words...in a completely different context.

"I have to Ryan. I have to take care of myself...for once. And this situation...it's not healthy. When we are ready to see each other again, we will. I truly believe that." Kelsi could not believe the words coming out of her mouth...she sounded so....together. It was amazing how much could change in the course of one night.

"You are really leaving aren't you? Are you even going back to New York?" Ryan asked, dreading the answer he knew was coming.

"Yes, I really am leaving. And no, I won't be joining you in New York." Kelsi answered, the sorrow evident in her features.

Ryan started to move forward, prompting Kelsi to quickly move back.

"Figure stuff out Ryan and...be happy." With a final tearful wave Kelsi climbed into her small car and drove away.

She had almost been expecting Ryan to come by the next morning, but he didn't. It seemed everybody else did though, with the intention of getting Kelsi to talk to Ryan....again. But Kelsi stood firm, truly believing that leaving was the answer. She hadn't yet realized that one cannot run from problems...for problems have a way of following you wherever you may go.

And so two days later Kelsi Nielson boarded a plane to Chicago. She wasn't going to dare step foot in New York, so Chicago and its flourishing theater district seemed like the next likely choice. She soon found a job nannying for an amazing family. Her time with the kids a welcome escape from her ever present feelings for Ryan. And in time the hurt that seemed to be a permanent part of her heart, started to lessen...until she almost completely forgot what it felt like.

_Wow...long prologue. This was necessary though to set up the story and make the necessary introductions. _


	2. Chapter 2

_**Wow...thanks for the reviews you guys. And also thank you so much for reading. I know it may seem bleak right now, but I promise...the end result will be Ryan, Kelsi and lots of happiness. **_

**Present Day, Chicago**

BEEP...BEEP...BEEP...BEEP

Kelsi burrowed deeper into the quilt on her bed and threw her pillow over her head, hoping the down feathers would drown out the sound of her alarm. Unfortunately feathers were no match for an alarm that got louder with each passing "beep". Kelsi's blue eyes peeked out from under her covers as she stared at her alarm in frustration. She knew the time said 7:08...am. Not because she could actually _see_ the time (her glasses were sitting on her nightstand), but because that was the time she got up every morning...well, except Saturdays and Sundays, those were her days off. Kelsi haphazardly reached her arm towards her dresser, stretching to her full capacity as she attempted to swat at her alarm. She tried this every morning, and it never worked. That never however stopped her from the traditional attempt. Giving up, Kelsi threw her covers off and swung her legs to the side of the bed. She gave a wayward smile as she felt her bare feet touch air. One of these days she was going to find a bed whose height allowed her feet to actually feel the floor while sitting on the mattress. Kelsi quickly turned off the alarm and reached for her glasses. Now that she could see she walked across her small studio apartment to the small galley kitchen. First necessary task was starting her morning tea. Once her hot water was in the to-go mug, tea bag in place, Kelsi made her way to the bathroom. Kelsi winced as she caught her reflection in the bathroom mirror, her long curling brown hair resembled a hastily put together birds nest, her blue eyes were red-rimmed and puffy and her complexion was in vital need of color. Kelsi saw a wistful smile touch her lips as she thought, "Oddly enough this was always Ryan's favorite look, he always called it cute and disheveled." Kelsi quickly did her best to shake off the memory and the accompanying pang in her heart. She had been doing so well, she hadn't thought about her lost love in...almost a week. Alright that was a total lie, but she wasn't about to admit it. Hoping that a shower would wash off the memories that seemed to pop up without warning, Kelsi quickly jumped in, letting out a loud "Eek!" when the cold water hit her square in the face.

Kelsi's shower was cut short by the ring of her cell phone. Stubbing her toe while attempting to flee the shower Kelsi let out a curse. Wrapped only in a towel that wasn't doing much to soak up the moisture, Kelsi went on a frantic search for her phone, before finally finding it on the coffee table next to her love seat.

"Hello?" Kelsi asked in a frazzled voice, placing her toe on the coffee table to examine the damage.

"Kelsi? Are you alright?" The voice on the other end asked.

Kelsi felt a genuine smile touch her lips as she recognized the voice. Quickly forgetting about her sore toe, Kelsi sat down on the small sofa for a semi-lengthy conversation.

"Martha, God, it's good to hear your voice. What's up?" Kelsi asked, relishing the action of talking to her best friend.

"Well, I was calling because I have some news. But I'll keep it short, I know you have to high tail it to work." Martha's warm voice responded.

Kelsi felt excitement build within her body at the words "good" and "news". Martha and Jason had been married for about six months, surprising all of their friends by eloping, could it be a baby Cross was on the way.

"Oh, please, don't worry about time, you'd be amazed at how fast I can get ready. Now tell me more about this good news. Does this surprise take about nine months to hatch per chance?" Kelsi asked, a smile lightening her tone.

Kelsi's question was answered with some bawdy laughter, before Martha could catch her breath enough to respond.

"Kels, please we have only been married for 6 months. Give us a little time for newlywed bliss before you bring a baby into the picture. Our news revolves around us moving from New York." Martha teased, almost picturing Kelsi's mouth dropping open in possible excitement.

Kelsi's mouth opened to form a small "O" as she started to perceive where this conversation was going. She didn't want to get her hopes up though. Martha and Jason had moved out to New York a little over a year ago. Martha had immediately found work as a choreographer, while Jason was directing independent films with a group of friends. Kelsi didn't think they would ever leave the little island, but apparently things change.

"_No way! _Please tell me this isn't some attempt at a supposedly funny joke?" Kelsi asked, her pitch rising with each passing word.

"Now why my friend, would I ever be that cruel." Martha paused dramatically before continuing. "Jason and I are moving to Chicago!" She exclaimed, her excitement almost surpassing Kelsi's.

Kelsi let out a scream that was sure to wake her neighbors, but frankly she didn't care, two of her best friends were going to be living within close vicinity to her.

"Ohmigod...I can't believe it! What happened? How? Why? Thank God!" Kelsi rambled excitedly, not quite able to form a coherent thought aloud.

Martha started laughing hysterically, she had so missed her friend.

"You had better believe it, because it's true. I am joining the touring company for "Mary Poppins" and we are stationed in Chicago for 6 long months. And Jason and I are thinking of staying on once the show leaves. I mean there's tons of work in Chicago and J and I are ready for a change of pace." Martha explained.

Kelsi stopped listening the moment she heard the words "Mary Poppins." Not because she was a huge fan of the show, she had never even seen it...Kelsi's brain focused on the reason she had never seen the show. Or more to the point, the actor who was playing the male lead.

"Mary Poppins is coming here?" Kelsi quickly continued before Martha could respond. "Is R-Ryan coming here?" Kelsi asked, feeling a flood of insecurity sweep her body the moment the question was out.

It only took Martha about three seconds to answer, but to Kelsi it seemed like three years.

"Yes, he is Kels." Martha hurried to add, "And I know he would really love to see you."

Kelsi felt like all of the careful walls she had built around her heart and soul had started to crumble. She could actually picture the mental image of herself scrambling to pick up all of the pieces to build the wall back up. And whereas Kelsi experienced waves of familiar insecurities and fear, she didn't feel the same sense of panic she used to feel when someone merely mentioned Ryan's name. In the past two years Kelsi had worked at creating a life for herself. At first it had seemed so hard, she couldn't even make it a day without completely breaking down emotionally due to the loss of Ryan from her life. And then one day, the pain wasn't as excruciating. That was when Kelsi started noticing that every day got a little easier. There would still be the bad days when she would just want to stay in bed all day and cry. And on those days, she would let herself cry, she always allowed herself to mourn when the need arose. And after a while, she didn't experience those days as much...until they didn't plague her at all. Kelsi let herself take a few deep breaths as she really contemplated the thought of possibly seeing Ryan again. While still nerve racking, it wasn't inconceivable...anymore. It wasn't exactly something she would volunteer to do, but she _could_ do it. Kelsi let out a small laugh as she recognized the breakthrough she had just encountered. Martha chose that moment to speak up. God, Kelsi had completely forgotten she was still on the phone.

"Kelsi? Are you still there? Are you okay? Please say something...and why did you just laugh?"

Kelsi shook off her recent revelation as she focused on Martha's voice and questions.

"I-I'm fine Martha." Kelsi quickly spared the clock above her stove a glance. "Oh crap...I have to go. I'll call you later okay? I am beyond thrilled that you and Jase are moving here." Kelsi finished rapidly, knowingly skipping the Ryan-centered conversation for now.

Martha knew Kelsi too well not to be aware of the small girl's need to change the subject.

"Sounds good Kels. I can't wait to see you. Have a good day." Martha said, her natural warmth reaching through the phone to Kelsi.

"You too Martha. Love you." Kelsi said, wrapping up the conversation.

"Love you too! Bye." Martha said.

"Bye." Kelsi said quickly before flipping her phone shut.

Kelsi snapped her focus back to the present. She had to get to work. There would be plenty of time later to rethink her conversation with Martha...and consider the possible ramifications of Ryan being in Chicago. She didn't know all that much about what had happened to him in the last two years. Her friends were aware of her need to move on, so they didn't force any knowledge on her. She knew he was circulating the Broadway scene as a popular choreographer and actor. She also knew he had married and divorced Amanda. After Kelsi had heard about his marriage, she had started separating herself from any knowledge that was directly related to Ryan. The painful realization that he had actually gone through with the marriage, especially to someone as mean spirited as Amanda, had made Kelsi seriously doubt if she had ever known him at all. In Kelsi's mind, his marriage ended up being a blessing to her though, for that was the action that really forced her to move on. Ryan's wedding day was the official day Kelsi gave up hope...on him.

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Kelsi attempted to bury herself as deep in her coat as possible. She had experienced plenty of winters in New York, but her body still couldn't adjust to the frigid weather. As Kelsi glanced around at the various people waiting on the train platform with her, it was easy to recognize she wasn't alone in regards to her dislike of the cold. She kept her hands wrapped around her tea mug, willing the heat from the scalding liquid to penetrate through the layers of plastic mug and knit mittens...it didn't seem to be working though. Kelsi spared a quick "thank you" to the sky above as she noticed the elevated train making it's way towards her stop. The train system in Chicago, or "el" as it was affectionately called had taken some getting used to for the young composer. Kelsi had spent four years traveling the underground subway system of New York. In Chicago, their equivalent to a subway was an elevated train system, with the tracks raised up above the streets and even some apartments. The el didn't go underground until you traveled into the heart of the city, where all of the sky scrapers were. Kelsi used the train every day to get to work.

Once settled in the train, Kelsi let her thoughts drift to the possibility of seeing Ryan again. In all honesty, she had figured eventually their paths would cross...she just hadn't given much thought as to _when _the inevitable would take place. It seemed fate wasn't going to give her much time to think on it at all, Ryan was coming to Chicago, whether she was ready or not. Pushing the thoughts of Ryan to the back of her mind, Kelsi allowed her mind to drift to the two children eagerly awaiting her arrival.

It was impossible not to smile when she thought of Lauren and Matthew. She had been with the family for just over two years now. Lauren was an adorable and loving five year old. She had the innate ability to light up a room the moment she walked through the door. With her bright red hair and shining green eyes, she was picture perfect. Matthew was a rambunctious three year old. Whereas his sister pranced into a room, Matthew stomped. He had the most infectious giggle Kelsi had ever heard. Matthew had light brown hair, sparkling blue eyes and a grin that seemed to say "my middle name is Trouble." When Kelsi had decided to take a job as a nanny, she was thinking of it as just that...a job. She had no idea she was going to fall in love. And fall in love she did. Part of the reason her heart was able to heal from the loss of Ryan was because little by little, every single day, that same heart was filled by the two children she spent her days with.

As Kelsi thought of Lauren and Matthew a natural and genuine smile fell across her features. Kelsi wasn't even aware of the picture she made...the beautiful picture. But a man on the train noticed. A man with shining blond hair and sky blue eyes who sat directly out of Kelsi's line of vision...but she wasn't out of his.

Ryan had thought he was hallucinating when a woman who looked exactly like Kelsi stepped onto the train. Though he knew Kelsi lived in Chicago, he never imagined he would randomly run into her in the large city. At first he wasn't even sure it was really her, it was kind of hard to tell due to her being completely buried in her winter clothing. Her navy blue pea coat hit her mid thigh; an extremely long cream colored knit scarf was wrapped around her neck and the lower part of her face. A matching knit hat was smothering what looked like a riot of brown curls, leaving a fall of brown locks tumbling half way down her back. Her hands were covered by yet more matching knit-wear, these in the form of mittens that looked to be holding onto a cup he bet was containing tea. He was secretly grateful Kelsi didn't seem to be aware of his presence...if it even was in fact Kelsi. It gave him the unique opportunity to not only study her, but to also become adjusted to seeing her again.

As Ryan watched her unwrap her scarf, there was no doubt in his mind that this extremely tiny girl was his ex-best friend. He felt his breath catch as he saw the lovely smile that fell upon her lips. Ryan couldn't help but wonder what or whom would put a smile like that on her face. He was surprised to feel a twinge of what he guessed was jealousy flow through his body. He couldn't make out her eyes too well from his vantage point, all he could see were her glasses. But he didn't need to see her eyes, he remembered them all too well. They had seemed to haunt him for the last two years.

The loss of Kelsi in his life had been devastating to Ryan. He often thought back to that infamous night at his house...the last night he had ever talked to Kelsi. He wished more than anything he could go back in time and live out that night with the knowledge he now had. That was the night Ryan Evans had chosen the _wrong_ girl. And the most frustrating aspect of the situation was, he knew it. Even then, that night...he had known Amanda was the wrong choice. But he had been afraid. He had made a promise to Amanda and didn't want to back out, no scrap that, he didn't have the courage to back out. Shock didn't even begin to cover what Ryan felt when Kelsi started questioning him concerning his feelings for her and his thoughts on their future...together. Kelsi had always been his friend, his best friend, his go-to, the person he could share everything with. The idea that there was possibly something more than friendship to their relationship scared the crap out of him. It had all happened so fast, and then when you added Amanda into the mix, it was too much. So instead of facing the situation, Ryan had hidden from it. He had made the easy choice, he had chosen to marry Amanda. In reality, that wasn't the _easy_ choice at all. There had been nothing _easy _about Amanda. She had been unhappy the moment they were married...partially because he was unhappy. Because even then, he had known he was marrying the wrong girl. What made the situation even more tragic was that the _right_ girl was still there, in the back of his mind and in the forefront of his heart. He just hadn't realized it in time. Or more to the point, when he was finally able to admit the truth to himself, he had to face the realization that he was too late.

So Ryan had done what he could to salvage his broken heart. He had divorced Amanda. He wasn't a husband to her. And she had started looking elsewhere for attention she wasn't getting from him. She knew he didn't love her. In a raging argument she had even admitted that she had known Ryan had loved Kelsi all along; she just didn't want to loose him to "a spineless wallflower." Ryan had known the truth though, Kelsi was anything but "spineless". She had stood up for her feelings, she had confided in him, and he hadn't been able to give her what she so desperately wanted in return...his love.

Ryan's attention shifted from his memories to the present when he saw Kelsi get up and walk towards the sliding doors of the train car. Knowing what a rare opportunity fate had dealt him, Ryan's reflexes jumped to action as he inconspicuously followed Kelsi off the train.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Thanks for the reviews guys...I really appreciate it. I hope you are enjoying the story. Love, Jen**_

Kelsi felt the frigid air hit her square in the face as she stepped through the train doors. Shaking off the temperature difference between inside the train and the Chicago winter, Kelsi started to weave her way through the throngs of people exiting the train's platform. Once free of the crowd, Kelsi started the four block walk to the two-flat where she worked. Her thoughts were wrapped up in the children and what their plans were for the day. She was completely unaware of the man following her at a respectable distance.

Ryan struggled not to lose sight of Kelsi over the sea of people. The task wasn't an easy one, Kelsi had to be the shortest person in the crowd. Ryan was sure he had lost her, and then he noticed her break away from the group to start walking west. Ryan quickly took off after her, making sure he wasn't following too closely. Inside his head Ryan was verbally berating himself. He honestly couldn't believe he had gotten off the train before his stop, to follow his ex-best friend through the streets of Chicago. I mean he had no idea where she was going or what she was planning to do. He could have unknowingly just signed himself up for a walking tour of the city. It was possible, but highly unlikely, Ryan remembered how much Kelsi hated the cold. When they were in New York together he would constantly hear her complain about how her body was not equipped for the winter weather.

Kelsi had an odd nagging feeling in the back of her mind. It was as if tiny pin pricks were occurring on the back of her neck. She didn't know why she felt this way, it didn't make any sense to her. She quickly spared a glance behind her....and her heart seemed to stop. About a half block away was a man who looked just like Ryan. He was at a distance, so she couldn't see his features, but his walk, his stature, his manner...all of it practically screamed "I am Ryan Evans!" Kelsi quickly turned back around and continued walking...at a little bit of a faster pace. She shook off the feelings of recognition. There was _no way_ the man following at a distance was Ryan. He was still in New York. True, he was coming to Chicago, but not yet. Martha would have told her if Ryan were already in Chicago...especially considering he had been brought up in conversation just that morning. No...there was no way that was Ryan, Kelsi relayed in her mind again. It was just her overactive imagination. And in Kelsi's head it made sense, she and Martha had just been talking about him, Kelsi had been thinking about him, so of course Kelsi would subliminally think Ryan was actually in Chicago. It was just her mind playing games with her. Kelsi spent a long time convincing herself of all of these things, but that didn't make the odd feeling or the prickling sensation on the back of her neck go away.

Ryan shifted his head to the ground as fast as humanly possible. Kelsi had just turned around and looked directly at him. Ryan kept walking with his face directed on the sidewalk. There was no way he was lifting his head up, he wasn't ready to see her yet, to face her yet. Ryan didn't even know what he would say to her, "hey, sorry I freaked out on you two years ago...I made a mistake." Yeah, like that would go over well. Ryan snuck a glance up, attempting to see if Kelsi had recognized him or not. It seemed she was still walking...at a faster pace. Great, now she probably just thought he was a weird stalker guy. Ryan gave a mocking smirk as he thought of how hard Sharpay would be laughing at his predicament. Even though every smart brain cell in Ryan's body told him he should turn around, get back on the train and reach his destination; his body had a whole different option for the day. As if out of his control, his feet followed Kelsi. He wanted, no he needed to see where she was going.

Kelsi was so relieved when she spotted the house where she worked. The family she worked for lived in a three story two-flat, with their flat consisting of the top two floors. She hurried through the wrought iron fence, flew up the short flight of stairs and breathed a calming sigh once her feet touched the porch. The only word that seemed to come to her mind was "safe...she was safe." Of course that made no sense, exactly what was she supposedly safe from...a guy who resembled Ryan? Kelsi rolled her eyes and chastised herself under her breath.

"Ridiculous...that's what you are Kelsi, simply ridiculous." She wished that made her feel better, but alas, no such luck. Kelsi made one final attempt to shake off the odd commute to work before getting out her key and entering the house.

Ryan felt like an idiot. He was actually hiding behind a tree across the street from the house Kelsi was getting ready to enter. So, this is where his life had taken him; he had resorted to spying on his ex-friend in order to gain...what? What was he trying to accomplish by standing outside in the blistering cold while getting pricked in the chest and face with pine needles? Ryan had no idea what the answer to that question was. All he knew was that his body seemed to move on its own accordance. It was as if some part of him, and he didn't know _what_ part, or how strong that said _part _was, had to see Kelsi. As if it were some sort of necessity. Ryan watched as Kelsi entered the house, not knowing where she was going, why she was there or who lived in the house in question. Ryan mockingly laughed to himself as he considered what he had actually gained from this very cold excursion...nothing. At least that's what Ryan told himself. Deep down, in the pits of his heart and the back of his mind Ryan knew he had gained something quite extraordinary...he had seen Kelsi again.

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A smile spread across Kelsi's whole face as she started to open the door to her place of work. With the first squeak of the door opening, a commotion had begun. Kelsi let out a delighted giggle as she prepared herself for the rambunctious greeting.

"KELSI!" Lauren yelled from somewhere on the second floor.

Lauren's yell was followed closely by the second.

"KELSI!" Matthew screamed louder...not one to be outdone by his sister.

Kelsi laughed as she heard a riot of scampering feet on the floor above her, she could tell the children's exact positioning from the noise that seemed to follow them wherever they went. Kelsi felt her heart fill to an enormous proportion as she watched Lauren fly down the stairs, her bright red hair trailing behind her. Matthew seemed to be on her heels, as he stomped down the stairs. Kelsi grounded her feet as best she could before two tiny forces hurled their bodies at the tiny girl. Kelsi let her back lean against the door for support, before sliding down to rest on the floor; her arms filled with two giggling loves.

"Hi you guys." Kelsi started, her tone changing in a way she wasn't even aware of.

Everything about Kelsi seemed to shift when she was with Lauren and Matthew. Every single bone and emotion in her body made it apparent there was no where else she would rather be. Kelsi was absolutely certain the two children filling her arms at that precise moment were two of the best things to ever happen to her.

Kelsi attempted as best she could to follow the jumble of dialogue that was going on around her.

"Hi Kels Bells! I missed you so much." Lauren said.

"You missed me? But you just saw me yesterday silly girl." Kelsi said with a smile, her bright blue eyes focused on the little girl in her lap.

Kelsi felt her attention being brought...literally...to Matthew, as he poked a miniature finger in Kelsi's stomach, attempting to gain her eye contact. Kelsi brought her joyous blue eyes to Matthew's adorable little cherub face.

"Kelsi...Kelsi...I love trucks." Matthew said with a proud grin.

Kelsi felt another laugh escape her body.

"You love trucks Matthew? Wow...I had no idea." Kelsi stated in a manner that identified she had _every_ idea the little boy trying to scoot his sister off his young nanny's lap loved trucks.

Kelsi had been so wrapped up in the children, she hadn't noticed her boss's laughter filling the room. Kelsi smiled at Sarah Nelson. Sarah was the spitting image of her daughter, except with blond hair...and quite a bit older of course. Kelsi was quite fortunate in that Sarah was a wonderful boss. She had been widowed shortly before Kelsi had moved to Chicago. It was as if fate had been aware of how much the two women needed each other. It was readily apparent to anyone that Sarah considered Kelsi a part of the family. Seeing as Sarah didn't have any siblings, she had kind of adopted Kelsi as her little sister. Kelsi had a room at their house, not because she _had _to spend the night, but just in case she wanted to. Aside from being a fabulous employer and friend, Sarah was also an amazing mom. She was a pediatrician at the hospital just down the street, so she often times came home for lunch. She worked from 8:30 to 2 or 3. And she usually always came home directly after work to spend time with her kids and Kelsi. Sarah had previously been a stay-at-home mom. But with the passing of her husband, she had been forced to go back to work full time. Sarah honestly thought Kelsi's addition to their family was a last gift from her husband...a reassurance that everything was going to be alright.

"Hi Sarah." Kelsi started. "How are you?"

"Great sweetheart." Sarah said warmly. "What do you think you guys want to do today? Lauren has an institute day at school, so you guys could go on a little adventure if you want."

"An adventure? Ooooo...that sounds delightful." Lauren said, her tone seeming to say "hello, I am a fairy princess."

Kelsi considered the question for a moment, any excursion had to be inside, it was so cold.

"Well, we could go to a museum?" Kelsi supplied.

"Yeah!" Matthew yelled.

"No!" Lauren said at the same time.

"No agreement on museums huh? Well...how about the library?" Kelsi said.

"Yeah!" Matthew yelled...again.

"No!" Lauren supplied...again.

Kelsi and Sarah shared a look, before Kelsi focused on Lauren's impish grin.

"Maybe this would be quicker if I simply asked you what _you_ would like to do today Lauren?" Kelsi asked, her attention directed on the young girl.

Lauren needed no further urging.

"I want to go to the theater!" Lauren exclaimed happily.

As if on cue, Matthew's innocent voice supplied a "Yeah!"

Kelsi spared Sarah a quick look, after receiving an approving nod, Kelsi focused on the children still nestled in her lap.

"Well, it looks like we are going to the theater." Kelsi said, followed closely with, "who's going to help me play piano?"

"ME!" Came the echoing chorus from Lauren and Matthew.

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Kelsi felt like she was holding onto the small hands of two miniature snowmen as the trio walked the necessary blocks to the train. Lauren and Matthew were bundled up to the nines, complete with snow pants and all of the likely winter necessities. They didn't look to be uncomfortable though, they seemed warm and content. Kelsi eyed Lauren's snow pants with envy, wondering if she could fit into them. Kelsi's legs felt like they were going to freeze off. She was quite relieved when they reached the train platform. And the heavens seemed to know Kelsi was riding with children, because the train showed up the minute they stepped foot on the platform. Kelsi settled the children and herself into the seats and started to unbundle the kids. (Which was kind of like a joke, considering by the time she would accomplish this task it would be time to bundle them back up again.) After the kids were comfortable, it took less than a minute for both of them to fall asleep. Lauren with her head propped against Kelsi's shoulder, and Matthew burrowed in her lap.

A sense of contentment filled Kelsi as she relished the warmth of the two bodies against her. Before Lauren and Matthew, Kelsi had been unsure about whether she wanted to have kids someday. Kelsi's own childhood had been okay...not great, but okay. She had been invisible for the most part. That was part of the reason behind her obsession with music, she had the ability to simply get lost in it. When Kelsi was behind a piano, all of her insecurities and inhibitions seemed to melt away. And it was because of her love of music that everything had changed. She had been able to compose and script a show...actually a few shows that would feature her best friends. Kelsi often times wondered if she had not had the music, if she would still be invisible. Kelsi let her gaze fall on the peaceful sleeping faces of the children she held so securely against her. They had changed so much of her outlook on life. They helped her to see the joy in little things, and to recognize the importance of love...and how easy it was to love, if you let yourself. Because of Lauren and Matthew, Kelsi knew someday, when she fell in love and met the right person, she would desire children. Kelsi had only been in love once in her life, but she truly believed she could feel that way again...someday.

Kelsi gently shook herself out of her internal revelry. She figured she should probably call the theater and warn them that she and the kids were coming. Kelsi had not forgotten about her love of music and theater during her move to Chicago. On many nights and most weekends, Kelsi's time was filled with being the rehearsal pianist for some of the best musicals in the city. In many respects, Kelsi liked working in Chicago even more than New York. For one, it was smaller, and Kelsi was a bit more comfortable in a smaller community. Second, many new shows did their test runs in Chicago. Kelsi loved being one of the first musicians to play the compositions for rehearsals. And third, and most importantly, Kelsi had made a great group of friends here. Kelsi's social circle had pretty much always consisted of just her high school friends. Even when she was at Juilliard, Kelsi tended to tag along with Ryan. She had always secretly thought most of her college friends were more his friends than hers. But here...she had her own group. And while they were different from her beloved high school affiliates, they cared about Kelsi to the same degree. With a genuine smile on her face, Kelsi carefully maneuvered her phone out of her purse, trying not to jostle the sleeping kids.

Charlie picked up on the first ring.

"Hello?" Charlie said.

Charlie was one of Kelsi's first friends in Chicago. He was basically the man behind everything at the theater where Kelsi worked. Charlie could stage manage, dance, act, sing, sew, build, run lights...he was a true jack of all trades. All of those talents aside, Kelsi's favorite thing about Charlie was that he and his girlfriend Reilly were her best friends in Chicago.

"Hey Charlie." Kelsi said, knowing she didn't need to announce herself.

"Hey Little K...what's up?" Charlie said with honest delight.

Kelsi winced at the nickname. It didn't seem to matter where she went, the "short" infused titles always followed.

"Nothing much. The kids and I are on the train heading to the theater. Is that okay?" Kelsi asked politely, even though she knew what the answer would be.

"Of course that's alright. I can't wait to see them. Does Lauren still have a little crush on me?" Charlie asked. The little red-headed girl had a special place in Charlie's heart. Lauren was basically his shadow whenever they visited the theater.

"She did as of yesterday. I hope you are ready for a mini-helper." Kelsi said, imagining Charlie's smile.

"I am always in need of help, even when it is under 4 feet tall." Charlie said, before continuing, "we are going to be starting rehearsals for a new show in two weeks, so there will be some set up going on, just make sure the kids are aware."

"Yeah, I remember. I have already started practicing the track of "Wicked"...it's going to be a great show." Kelsi said, referring to the show that was moving to the theater.

Charlie was about to respond when Kelsi heard a crash over the phone.

"Crap, I had better go see what that was. I'll see you soon." And with that parting comment, Charlie hung up the phone.

Kelsi let out a yawn, it seemed the kids sleepiness was catching. She was about to close her eyes, when she realized they were only two stops away from their destination. She gently woke Lauren and Matthew up before layering them up again for the awaiting cold outside. The kids awoke instantly and alertly...one of the many perks of being a child, instant wake up skills. They hurried up the stairs, and into the rushing cold wind. Kelsi didn't need to lead the children or tell them the way to the theater, they already knew. They had hardly walked a block before they entered the warm lobby of Kelsi's second job. Kelsi immediately started to unbutton and unzip the kids.

"We're here..." Lauren said sweetly. "Where's Charlie?"

Kelsi stifled a laugh at her comment as she worked on getting Matthew's snow pants off.

As if on cue, the man in question walked out, hand in hand with his girlfriend Reilly. Charlie and Reilly gave Troy and Gabby a run for their money as far as perfect couples. They were madly in love, and that was evident to anyone who witnessed them together. Both had black hair and brown eyes which were framed with glasses. Charlie's hair was long, hitting his shoulders in gentle waves. Reilly's hair was short, and cut in a fashionable pixie style that flattered her narrow face and small frame perfectly. Kelsi could sense the kids' excitement as the couple walked towards them. Matthew was the first to speak, Lauren was always overcome with a little shyness upon first seeing Charlie.

"Charlie...Reilly!" Matthew yelled, before barreling towards the couple. Both Charlie and Reilly caught Matthew in a big bear hug, as the knelt down to the young boy's level.

"Hey Matty man...how's my favorite boy?" Reilly asked, gently ruffling the top of Matthew's hair.

Matthew immediately got bashful, having Reilly's attention focused solely on him. He ran back to Kelsi to lean against her legs, craving the comforting contact.

"Good." Matthew said, drawing out the word, while smiling at Reilly.

Lauren chose that moment to shyly walk up to both Charlie and Reilly. She sweetly hugged both and gave them light kisses on the cheek.

"Why hello there pretty lady." Charlie said, before planting a kiss on Lauren's pert freckled nose.

"Hi Charlie, hi Reilly." The little girl said, her green eyes shining.

Charlie and Reilly both stood up.

"So, who wants to help me paint some set pieces?" Charlie asked.

Matthew and Lauren both spoke simultaneously.

"Me!" The kids chorused.

"Great, let's go." Charlie said, before giving Reilly a parting kiss, as she headed up to the catwalk. Reilly's main expertise was working the light and sound boards.

Kelsi, Lauren and Matthew followed Charlie out towards the stage. As Kelsi took in the set that was in the process of being built, confusion started to set in. The present set didn't look anything like the one used for "Wicked." Kelsi looked around, noticing what looked to resemble the inside of a house, complete with a staircase and child's bedroom. Alarm bells started to go off in Kelsi's head as she rapidly attempted to understand what was happening. Her feet froze suddenly, as she stopped walking towards the stage. As her gaze fell upon the faux staircase, she saw a familiar blond haired figure stand up and stretch from his position of painting. "No,no, no, no...it can't be." Kelsi thought. Sure her mind was playing tricks on her, but knowing it wasn't. It was one thing to hallucinate about seeing Ryan once today...but twice...not likely.

Lauren and Matthew had halted when Kelsi had stopped walking. Both of them held her hand tightly, as they looked up at her with a questioning look. Matthew didn't seem to notice anything amiss. But Lauren could tell something was not right. The smile that Kelsi always wore wasn't on her face, and her face looked to be the color of paper. Lauren gently tugged on Kelsi's hand, bringing her nanny's attention down to her level.

"What's wrong Kels Bells?" Lauren said softly. She didn't like to see Kelsi upset like this, it put an uncomfortable feeling in her tummy.

Matthew noticed that Charlie was still walking towards the stage. With the grace only a three year old has (which isn't much), he yelled to get the man's attention.

"Charlie wait! Kelsi stopped." Matthew yelled, looking quite pleased with himself.

With Matthew's shout, he not only gained Charlie's attention, but also the focus of every person in the theater....including Ryan.

Kelsi's breath caught as Ryan turned around. She felt a sudden heat rise in her body as she bore the focus of his penetrating blue eyes.

"Ryan." Kelsi whispered.

"Who's Ryan?" Lauren asked in a voice that seemed to fill up the entire theater.

Charlie was looking from Kelsi to Ryan with confusion...and then he got it. Ryan Evans was _Kelsi's Ryan_...oh God...this could get messy.

Ryan couldn't seem to tear his gaze away from Kelsi. What was she doing here? And why did she have two children with her? Ryan started to make his way down from the stage. There was no way around it now, they were going to have to face each other...whether they were ready or not. A ton of feelings seemed to crash into Ryan as he worked his way towards is old friend. Memories started to resurface, along with recent revelations and accompanying confusion.

Kelsi could not believe this was happening. Ryan was walking towards her...this couldn't be happening, but it was. When Kelsi had earlier recognized that she was ready to face Ryan, she hadn't meant today. She was expecting to have time and some semblance of warning to prepare herself for the reunion. It wasn't supposed to happen like this. She was supposed to be ready, and dressed in her best outfit, her hair was supposed to be done and she would at least have a little make up on.

Lauren and Matthew were both confused as to what was happening. They just wanted to help paint the set, why was everyone acting so funny? As Lauren watched the blond haired man walk towards them, she figured he had something to do with Kelsi acting so strangely.

"Who are you?" Lauren asked as Ryan reached them, getting right to the point.

Charlie stood between Kelsi and Ryan, ready for anything.

"I take it you two already know each other?" Charlie said as a question, even though it should have been a statement.

Kelsi still hadn't uttered a single word, her vocal chords were not presently able to make any sound. So she simply nodded in response to Charlie's question.

Luckily Ryan's voice was still working, despite the surprise. He answered Charlie first.

"Yes, we went to high school and college together." Ryan started, before kneeling down to answer Lauren. "My name is Ryan. And who might you be?"

Lauren looked at Ryan suspiciously. He seemed to be nice, and she liked his blue eyes, but Kelsi's reaction was making her a little nervous.

Luckily Matthew hadn't acquired any of his sister's nerves.

"That's my sister Lauren, I'm Matthew and that's our nanny Kelsi." Matthew stated, easily supplying the answers, before continuing. "Can we paint now Charlie?"

Charlie had never heard a more wonderful idea. It was obvious Kelsi and Ryan needed a little space, and he was quite anxious to get out of the tension-filled situation.

"C'mon Lauren, Matty...let's get started on stage. Kelsi will join us in a second." Charlie said with a somewhat forced smile.

Matthew didn't need to be asked twice, he quickly ran up to Charlie, easily linking his hand with the man's.

Lauren wasn't as quick to abandon Kelsi. She looked up at the nanny she loved almost as much as her own Mommy.

Kelsi felt Lauren's gaze on her and forced herself to shift her eyes from Ryan's to the young girls'. She recognized the worry in Lauren's bright green eyes and willed a smile to form on her face. She didn't ever want Lauren worried about her, it was her job to worry over Lauren not the other way around. Bending down so she was eye-level with the five year old, Kelsi enfolded Lauren in a warm embrace. Lauren immediately molded her smaller body to Kelsi's, inviting the ready affection. Pulling away slightly, Kelsi spoke to Lauren.

"It's okay Lady Bug, you can go with Charlie. I'll be fine." Kelsi said with a smile that she hoped was convincing.

Lauren leaned over and kissed Kelsi lightly on the lips before following after her brother and Charlie.

Kelsi watched her go, falling even more in love. When Lauren and Matthew were safely on the stage, Kelsi stood up and faced Ryan. It seemed she had finally found her voice in regards to him.

"Hi Ryan." Okay it wasn't much of a voice...but it was a start.

It seemed Ryan had found himself in a similar boat as he responded to Kelsi.

"Hi Kels."

The two ex-friends stood there for what must have been at least a minute simply staring at one another, taking each other in and simply trying to piece together what to say.


	4. Chapter 4

_Thanks for the reviews guys...I am aiming for 2 to 3 updates a week. (I get just as impatient as you to see where the story goes.) And as always...happy reading :-)_

As Kelsi stared at Ryan in silence, what seemed like hundreds of questions flew through her brain. Everything from "How've you been?" to "How could you not choose me?" She figured the first question would be the most appropriate...given the present circumstances.

"How are you?" Kelsi asked, wincing slightly over the inane question.

Never in a million years did Kelsi ever think the first question she would pose after being reunited with Ryan would be "how are you". But in all honesty...she didn't know what else to say. And that fact almost crippled Kelsi to tears. Ryan used to be her very best friend, the person she could share anything with...and now they were nothing more than old friends in an awkward situation with nothing to say to one another. Well, that wasn't completely true...if Kelsi was being honest with herself. She had a lot of things she would _love_ to say to Ryan. Unfortunately most of them were all angry and filled with resentment. Kelsi paused her internal ramble for a moment...had she really just said as recently as this morning she would be okay with seeing Ryan again? Well, obviously that wasn't altogether true...she was feeling many varying emotions..._okay_ was definitely _not_ one of them. Kelsi looked up at Ryan to find his eyes on her...as if he were waiting for something. Kelsi turned an even paler shade, realization setting in...her question! He must have answered her question. However she had been so wrapped up in her own thoughts, she hadn't been paying attention.

"I'm sorry, did you say something?" Kelsi said, a flustered look on her face.

Two years ago Ryan would have been able to read every emotion and thought that had passed Kelsi's expressive features in the last three minutes...but not anymore. He knew she was having an internal ramble...obviously that trait hadn't been altered. That had been the way Kelsi had dealt with all issues. The only difference was back in the day, Kelsi used to share her thoughts with him. And the ones she didn't, he had no problem figuring out for himself. Not anymore though...this new Kelsi Nielson was a huge mystery to him. Ryan attempted to stop sulking over this fact and answered her question.

"I answered your earlier question. I am okay...trying to adapt to Chicago. How are you?" Ryan asked, hoping to garner some information from his old friend...any hint that would help him break through all of the barriers she had built around herself.

Kelsi forced herself to focus on Ryan's question and dialogue and not on how great he looked. Why did he have to look so good? He looked even better than before...and Kelsi hadn't thought that possible.

"Oh, I'm...good. And shocked...definitely shocked. I wasn't expecting to see you here." Kelsi supplied, wondering why he was here _ now _and why Martha had not warned her of his possible arrival.

Ryan was quite frankly surprised Kelsi had been even that forthcoming.

"Yeah, let me assure you, the shock works two ways...I wasn't expecting you to be here either. What _are _you doing here Kels?" Ryan asked, the curiosity getting the better of him.

Kelsi got right to the point.

"I work here. I am the rehearsal pianist." Kelsi said, realization starting to dawn that she was going to be working with Ryan on the upcoming show.

With the new revelation came a whole new wave of heat. At least she didn't have to worry about being pale as a ghost anymore...plenty of renewed color was on its way up to her cheeks.

Ryan realized what that meant at the same time as Kelsi. His heart started to beat excitedly...he was going to be working within close confines of Kelsi. That could be very good...or a very bad.

"Wow...well...this is..." Ryan struggled to find the accurate word, "awkward." Yep..that worked, pretty much summed up his feeling right now.

Kelsi and Ryan both let out a sigh of relief when they were interrupted by Lauren.

"Kelsi...are you coming?" Lauren yelled from the stage, as she held a paintbrush high above her head like a torch.

"Yes!" Kelsi said, a bit louder than normal. She paused to give Ryan a moment of her attention. As she looked into his blue eyes, she felt a sudden wave of recognition. She unconsciously took a step back, she was definitely not ready to deal with _that_ yet...if ever.

"I...um..." Kelsi paused, trying to find the words. What was wrong with her...she always had words...she was a song writer for Christ's sake? Kelsi couldn't ever remember feeling so tongue tied.

Ryan decided to take pity on her.

"Go. It's okay, I am sure there will be plenty of time to catch up later. It seems we will be seeing a lot of each other." Ryan said; feeling a bit hopeful after the far off look that had come into Kelsi's shining blue eyes a moment ago.

Kelsi didn't respond to Ryan's comment. She just ran as fast as her feet could carry her towards the stage...trying all the while not to look too anxious about getting out of Ryan's company.

Ryan watched Kelsi sprint away...unaware of the hidden hope that seemed to make his sky blue eyes brighter.

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Kelsi wasn't sure how long she and the kids had been painting the set. She couldn't seem to focus on anything...except the fact that Ryan was not three yards away, nailing some sort of wooden beam together. Every time she would try to actually concentrate on the paintbrush in her hand, she would find her eyes drifting to where Ryan stood. It was as if her body was no longer hers...it had a total mind of its own. And the only thing it was interested in was Ryan. Kelsi gave her head a frantic shake as she yet again tried to direct her attention on painting. Not three seconds later her bright eyes once again drifted in Ryan's direction. Oh God, he had taken her shirt off. How the hell was she supposed to concentrate when Ryan was half naked?

Lauren was confused. She didn't know too much about painting, but she knew Kelsi should have been able to paint more than the tiny amount of space her brush seemed to have been focused on for the last couple of minutes.

"Kelsi!" Lauren said, attempting to get her nanny's attention.

Lauren waited...and waited...and waited a bit more and...nothing. This was ridiculous. Lauren didn't know _what_ was wrong with Kelsi, but something was definitely not right. Kelsi was always aware of Lauren and her brother. Lauren could whisper Kelsi's name from two rooms away and without a doubt Kelsi would hear her. Lauren focused her green eyes on Ryan. _He_ was the issue...Lauren didn't know exactly what issue he consisted of, but she knew Kelsi had changed the moment she saw him.

"KELSI!" Lauren yelled, drawing not only Kelsi's gaze (finally), but also Charlie's, Ryan's, Matthew's and pretty much all of the other people working on stage.

Kelsi shook herself out of her Ryan infused daze. She turned towards Lauren, an apology ready on her features.

"I'm sorry sweetie, I must have zoned out there. What's up?" Kelsi asked.

"You have been painting the same spot since you got up here to help a way long time ago." Lauren said, her little voice rich with exasperation.

Kelsi felt a heat sweep her body as she heard Charlie begin to half and Ryan clear his throat. Good Lord...do five year olds have no filter? Kelsi willed her body to go back to its normal color...she doubted it was working though.

"Well, I am just giving this spot some extra paint....because...it needed it." Kelsi said by way of explanation. Hoping the five year old questioning her would take the answer at face value.

Lauren wasn't buying it. She may be five, but she was in advanced kindergarten for a reason.

"Riiiiiight." Lauren said. Drawing out the word in a way that conveyed her disbelief.

Charlie took pity on his small friend.

"Hey little K...why don't you go up to the catwalk and help Reilly. Lauren and Matthew can hang out down here with me." Charlie said, sending a look of sympathetic understanding Kelsi's way.

Kelsi didn't need to be told twice.

"Hey guys, are you okay here with Charlie or do you want to find something else to do with me?" Kelsi asked, wanting to escape the stage, but not wanting to abandon the kids.

"I'll stay with Charlie." Lauren said, a pretty pink coloring her smooth freckled cheeks.

"Me too. I'm painting." Matthew said matter of factly.

Kelsi figured they would choose the stage.

"Okay, well just give a yell if you need anything. I'll hear you." Kelsi said, before giving with kids parting kisses on their foreheads.

Kelsi spared Ryan a quick glance. Noticing his eyes following her, she immediately looked away. Kelsi had to force herself to walk out of the theater, when in reality all she wanted to do was run like a mighty wind.

Ryan watched Kelsi struggle not to run away...yet again...from him. He couldn't help but feel a sense of hope from the conversation he had heard between Kelsi and the young girl Lauren. It seemed as much as Kelsi may have tried to move on with her life, she still had a bit of a weakness where he was concerned. Ryan shoved that piece of knowledge to the back of his mind, knowing it could come in handy in the future. Ryan noticed Charlie walking towards him, followed closely by Lauren and Matthew.

Ryan had immediately liked Charlie upon first meeting him. There was a genuine sincerity about the man, which was a rarity. And seeing as Kelsi had left the kids in his care, he was obviously someone she trusted. Ryan also liked Charlie's girlfriend Reilly. There was an infinite warmth to Reilly, along with a sense of honesty.

Charlie joined Ryan, starting to paint the scenery Ryan had been building. The kids wasted no time with helping their idol out. It was quite apparent the kids loved Charlie...especially the little girl. Charlie kept his eyes on his canvas as he spoke to Ryan, not wanted to garner any unwanted attention.

"So, you must be the Ryan we heard so much about when Kelsi first moved here?" Charlie started, getting right to the point.

"I don't know whether that's a good thing or a bad thing?" Ryan answered. He was excited Kelsi had obviously talked about him, but unsure as to the connotation.

"It was all good...at first." Charlie said.

Ryan waited for him to elaborate. It seemed he was going to be waiting a while because Charlie didn't seem very inclined to continue.

"What do you mean _at first_?" Ryan asked, anxiously awaiting the answer.

Unfortunately, Matthew decided that seemed like the perfect moment to interject.

"Charlie, the paint is blue." The little boy supplied. Like most three years olds, Matthew's vocabulary at times could seem somewhat random. In actuality, he just spoke whatever was on his mind. And at the moment, he really appreciated that the paint was blue.

Whereas Ryan was confused by the young boy's outburst, Charlie didn't seem surprised at all.

"That's right buddy. Good job. You know your colors so well." Charlie stated, naturally going with the flow of the conversation.

Lauren wasn't about to be left out.

"I know my colors too Charlie." Lauren said with a proud grin.

"I know you do pumpkin. You both are so smart." Charlie said, focusing the first part of his comment on Lauren, while including both kids in the second half.

Charlie then shifted his gaze to Ryan. The blond haired man was wearing an expression somewhere between exasperation and humor. It was obvious Ryan wasn't used to holding a conversation with kids in the vicinity. Charlie brought the focus back to his and Ryan's earlier conversation.

"I meant exactly what I said, _at first_ Kelsi came to Chicago singing your praises. Don't get me wrong, there was loads of hurt there too. But it was quite obvious she was in love with you. I think she was even playing with the possibility you were going to come out here and get her...eventually. She had said you were attempting to "find yourself"...or something to that affect. She told Reilly and I about the bomb she laid on you before she left." Charlie paused to give Ryan a sympathetic look. "I don't envy you there. Must have been pretty confusing having your best friend all of the sudden admit she had feelings for you. And all the while you've been in a committed relationship with another woman."

"Who I was engaged to." Ryan supplied.

"Yeah that." Charlie paused, giving Ryan a look he couldn't quite decipher. "That was pretty much the nail in your coffin my friend."

Ryan was just grateful Charlie had just referred to him as "friend", he didn't understand what he was getting at though.

"What do you mean...nail in my coffin?" Ryan asked, reusing Charlie's terminology.

Charlie gave Ryan a look that pretty much conveyed "you're kidding me right?"

"You married her Ryan. You chose your fiancée over Kelsi. You think Kels was actually going to keep waiting for you after you married another woman?" Charlie questioned.

Ryan was shocked. He had no idea Kelsi had been waiting for him. He felt like she was the one who ran out on him. And quite honestly, he still felt that way. Kelsi had had time to adjust to her feelings for him. Was he supposed to just have it all figured out spur of the moment...the minute she confessed how she felt, he would have instant knowledge of his feelings? Maybe Kelsi thought that was what would happen, but Ryan's thought patterns didn't work that way. Yes, it was true he had chosen Amanda. And if he could go back and change his decision, he would have taken that chance on Kelsi. But quite honestly at the time, he didn't think there was another option out there...Kelsi had left, end of story.

_**A/N**_

_Still quite angsty I know. You were already aware of many of Kelsi's feelings. This gives you a sense of where Ryan was coming from and why he chose to marry Amanda. Both Kelsi and Ryan felt abandoned. Kelsi felt that Ryan abandoned any future romantic relationship and Ryan felt like Kelsi abandoned their friendship. The difficult thing is...both are accurate. So you see, our duo is going to have a lot to work out. There isn't going to be one conversation that fixes everything. They are going to have to completely rebuild their relationship....if they are even willing to take that risk._


	5. Chapter 5

_**Hello...Here's another update...since I left you with a cliffhanger last time....I wish I could say there won't be anymore...but there probably will. Happy Reading :-)**_

Charlie continued to paint and joke around with the kids as he watched a plethora of emotions fly across Ryan's features. Charlie couldn't believe Ryan didn't know Kelsi had been waiting for him. It actually made him feel pretty sorry for the blond haired man. He had always sympathized with Kelsi's side of the saga. But after gaining a little insight from Ryan's point of view, he was able to see how devastating the ordeal was not just for Kelsi, but Ryan too. In Charlie's mind, both people were technically in the wrong, they had both run away. Kelsi ran away from Ryan to Chicago, opting for self preservation. And Ryan had run from his feelings; too scared of jeopardizing his friendship with Kelsi and relationship with his fiancée. It would seem these two had a lot to work through. Charlie just hoped they would be able to do so in a professional manner, after all they were going to be working quite closely together. Charlie's thoughts were taken away from his present musings by a tiny hand pulling on the sleeve of his arm. Charlie looked down to meet the wide blue eyes of Matthew.

"Charlie, I have to go potty." Matthew said.

Charlie was aware Matthew was about three weeks in to potty training...Kelsi had had quite a few humorous stories to tell in regards to the young boy's bathroom shenanigans.

"Sure thing buddy." Charlie started before shifting his gaze to Ryan...who still seemed to be off in his own world. "Hey Ryan?" Charlie questioned, breaking through Ryan's inner revelations.

Ryan looked up surprised, he had forgotten where he was for a moment...he had been so wrapped up in memories of him and Kelsi. Memories consisting of how things used to be between them. How easy everything had once been. There was a time when verbal communication had not been necessary between the two friends, it was as if they had been on their very own wave length. Comparing their old conversations to the one they attempted to have not 30 minutes ago, Ryan was flabbergasted by how much had changed. Ryan never could have possibly imagined speaking to Kelsi would be so tension-filled. Forcing the scene from his mind, Ryan forced his attention back to Charlie.

"Yeah?" Ryan said in response, looking up at Charlie in question.

"Could you keep an eye on Lauren for a minute? I've got to take Matthew to the bathroom. I would call Kelsi back down here, but it may be too late by the time she gets here." Charlie explained motioning to Matthew, who was holding the front of his pants somewhat comically.

"Charlie....I've got to go peeeeee!" Matthew said, adding little hops to the picture he was making.

Ryan looked at Matthew with alarm, before responding to Charlie.

"Of course, it's no problem. As long as it's okay with Lauren?" Ryan said, focusing his gaze on the little girl. Ryan had been aware of the unsure feelings coming from her earlier in the day.

"Lauren was watching her brother with a smirk. Honestly, he could be soooo dramatic. Lauren thought it hilarious how everyone flocked to Matthew the moment he needed to go to the bathroom. She shifted her green eyes from her little brother to Ryan.

"It's fine." Lauren said in response to Ryan's earlier question.

With Lauren's consent, Charlie linked Matthew's hand with his as they headed out of the theater and towards the bathrooms.

Ryan stole a glance at Lauren, watching the girl's small hands wield her paintbrush quite efficiently.

"You and your brother come here a lot don't you?" Ryan asked, interested in what kind of relationship the children had with Kelsi.

Lauren still wasn't sure she trusted Ryan. Kelsi acted so different when he was around. Despite this fact, Lauren still decided to answer Ryan's question honestly.

"Kelsi takes us here whenever we want. We go to a lot of other places too...museums, the zoo, the library. And then sometimes we just stay home and play. I don't really care all that much about_ what_ we do, as long as we're with Kelsi." Lauren told Ryan honestly.

"It seems like you and your brother really love Kelsi." Ryan stated, choosing to not put the sentence in the form of a question.

Lauren took a moment to think before she spoke, making sure she expressed herself accurately.

"We love her so much...as much as she loves us. And we always tell each other we love one another. Kelsi says when you feel love, you tell the other person...because love is the best gift there is." Lauren explained, having no idea how much she had just affected Ryan with her simple and honest words.

Ryan looked at the young girl in surprise. He never thought to ever hear words of wisdom from a protective and precocious 5 year old. Lauren's comment struck a huge chord with Ryan. It was impossible for him _not_ to think of that night so long ago when Kelsi had pretty much professed her love for _him_. She hadn't said the words exactly, but Ryan had known her well enough to know that's where the conversation had been heading. Why had he been so frightened? What about Kelsi and her feelings had scared him so deeply? Ryan found his eyes locked with Lauren's as he thought this question through.

"What are you thinking?" Lauren asked, her voice pure and honest...resembling what Ryan imagined a fairy's laugh sounded like.

Ryan answered the little red head seriously, not quite sure if she would understand his answer.

"I am thinking about how love can sometimes be scary." Ryan answered.

"Why would you be scared of love, it's so simple?" Lauren asked, confusion evident in her tone.

Wow, thought Ryan...and epiphany from the mouth of a child.

Ryan was quickly drawn away from the conversation when Charlie and Matthew joined them back on stage.

"What did we miss?" Charlie asked, having no idea how loaded that question really was.

"Oh nothing much...Ryan and I were just talking about love." Lauren answered.

Charlie looked from Lauren to Ryan with surprise. Before he started to laugh with a loud joyous sound.

"Of course you were." Charlie stated with a laugh, leaning over to place two kisses on each of Lauren's freckled cheeks.

Ryan had the grace to look chagrined before resuming his work on the set.

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Kelsi had been more than relieved when Charlie had given her the possible option of leaving Ryan's presence...she had been grateful. Charlie had given the excuse of helping Reilly, but Kelsi knew that wasn't something she necessarily had to do. More than anything, Kelsi wanted a few minutes of time to herself. It seemed that in less than 24 hours Kelsi's whole world had been tilted. This morning she woke up, ready to have a normal day with the kids. Then Martha called with news of not only her and Jason's impending arrival, but also the inclusion of Ryan as well.

Ryan...that was a whole new can of worms. People may say the old saying "Out of sight, out of mind" is accurate, and Kelsi would probably about half way agree with them. When she had first moved to Chicago, Ryan was pretty much included with every other thought that entered her mind. And then, after about 6 months, she may have thought of him sporadically throughout the day. When a full year had gone by, Kelsi had forced herself to start dating again. She had been thrown right into the social scene...that was pretty much a given to anyone who worked within a small theater community. Through friends, she had been able to meet people. She even dated one guy for almost a month...and then broke things off. She hadn't felt it was fair to let things progress when she still had such strong feelings for Ryan. Now it was two years later, and while she would still sometimes find her head (and heart) wandering towards musings of Ryan...those thoughts were now few and far between. That was part of the reason why Kelsi had been so shocked by the tidal wave of mixed emotions and memories that seemed to turbulently come hurling towards her upon first contact with the man she used to love. Kelsi paused for a moment, pondering her last thought. Did she still love Ryan? Her pride wanted to immediately say "no." But in her heart she was forced to admit that she wasn't sure. It was somewhat hard to separate past memories from the present.

Kelsi wasn't surprised when she found herself in the the rehearsal room. Whenever she was in any kind of inner turmoil, she always sought out a piano first. Kelsi sat at the bench, ready for the peace that was sure to encompass her the moment her fingers touched the keys. Kelsi didn't really know what she was playing, she was just letting the melody come naturally to her. After a few refrains she realized she was playing the song "I'm Not That Girl" from "Wicked." That was appropriate, Kelsi thought mockingly. And yet she kept playing the song.

Reilly had been checking the costumes for the show when she heard the music. She had heard the song so many times before, but never played in such a heartbreaking manner. Reilly was aware of who was playing the song, what she didn't know was what had driven Kelsi downstairs to musically vent. Reilly wasn't sure whether she should disturb her small friend. As she peeked her head into the room, she witnessed the varying emotions that seemed to be flowing off Kelsi. Deciding to trust her gut on the situation, Reilly cautiously entered the room. She knew Kelsi was completely unaware of her presence. That fact was apparent by how unguarded Kelsi's demeanor was. Reilly watched as Kelsi's whole body seemed to envelop the music. Kelsi was not a graceful person, she was actually quite clumsy. But in that moment, seemingly so lost in her music, Kelsi personified the word "grace." Even though Kelsi and Reilly were close, Kelsi was not the type to be completely open with her feelings. In all honesty, _this_ was the fullest Reilly had ever seen Kelsi express herself.

Kelsi ended the song, unaware until that moment of the tears that were trailing down her cheeks. She hadn't realized how much she needed that release. She didn't feel back to 100%, but she was better. And given the circumstance, she was more than willing to accept "better."

Kelsi jumped in surprise when she heard the quiet applause. Unintentionally hitting her knees on the piano and knocking over the piano bench simultaneously.

"Ow." Kelsi said, gently rubbing her knees with her palms.

Reilly rushed over to her friend's side, worry evident on her face and in her tone.

"Kelsi, ohmigosh, I am so sorry. I didn't mean to startle you. I guess I just got overcome by the music." Reilly paused, as she picked up the fallen piano bench and sat down, gesturing for her friend to assume the seat next to her. "That was beautiful, by the way."

Kelsi felt a warmth rush to her face at the compliment. She very rarely allowed herself to get lost in the music in front of an audience. Ryan was actually the only other person to ever see her go to such a vulnerable place.

"Thanks. I guess I kind of needed to express myself. Usually that happens the most effectively with music." Kelsi said quietly, not completely looking at Reilly while she spoke.

Reilly placed a comforting arm around her friend, smiling slightly when she felt Kelsi's head rest on her shoulder.

"What brought on the beautiful music in the middle of the day?" Reilly asked, not wanting to pry, but wanting to offer support.

"Ryan's here." Kelsi said by way of explanation.

Reilly immediately presumed Kelsi was referring to Ryan Evans. Even though she hadn't yet figured out the connection between Kelsi's need to vent and the new male lead in "Mary Poppins."

"I don't really understand Kels?" Reilly said, confusion lacing her tone.

Kelsi lifted her head from her friend's comforting shoulder, turning her gaze to meet Reilly's.

"Ryan Evans is my _Ryan_...from back home." Kelsi supplied.

Reilly's mouth dropped open in shock. She totally had not been expecting that.

"Oh...wow...I don't even really know what to say." Reilly stated honestly.

"You don't have to say anything." Kelsi said. "But would you mind if I rested my head on your shoulder for a bit longer?"

Reilly drew Kelsi to her in a comforting hug, supporting the petite girl as quiet sobs started to wrack her body.

"It's okay Kelsi...everything will be okay, you'll see." Reilly whispered the promise into Kelsi's brown curls.

Kelsi didn't know how or why, but hearing Reilly utter those few soft words made her feel better. Not great, but better.

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Kelsi didn't know how long she sat in the rehearsal room crying. After a while, her sobs subsided, and Reilly left to finish the task she had come downstairs to do in the first place. Kelsi knew she needed to go back upstairs and join the children. Even though they were undoubtedly having a blast and not missing her too much; Kelsi felt the need to check on them. She never liked leaving them for too long. Even going home for the weekend was tough. The truth of the matter was Kelsi depended on those kids just as much as they depended on her. They were a unit...a three person unit.

Ryan was wondering where Kelsi was. It was impossible for him not to. Pretty much the moment she walked, or escaped off the stage he had been missing her. It wasn't an off feeling for Ryan. Over the last two years he would find himself missing Kelsi at odd times. Usually when he saw something that reminded him of her. Okay, that wasn't completely honest, the truth was he would find himself wondering about Kelsi without any prodding at all. He had known when Kelsi left that the loss of her from his life would be hard....he hadn't counted on it being quite so crippling. Their years together, mixed with the memories they had created, made Kelsi a permanent fixture in Ryan's heart. It was unfortunate he hadn't recognized this until _after _Kelsi left.It seemed Ryan wasn't the only one who was missing Kelsi.

"Where's Kelsi?" Matthew asked, his big blue eyes round with curiosity.

"She said she went to help Reilly." Lauren supplied.

"I can go find her if you'd like?" Ryan offered, looking at the young boy.

Ryan didn't know what prompted him to go on the impromptu Kelsi search. He was aware that it probably wasn't the smartest idea, and that he was most likely the last person Kelsi would want to be found by. But he had offered anyway. It was as if the offer was out of his mouth before he even had time to think on it. Which was probably a good thing, if he had taken the time to think, he may have stayed silent.

Charlie looked at Ryan with an uneasy expression. Charlie liked Ryan, but he didn't know if it was wise for him to be the one looking for Kelsi. Charlie could almost picture the blistering lecture he would later receive from the tiny woman...and possibly Reilly too, if they found out he had allowed Ryan to be the one who led the search. The intelligent thing to do would be for him to take the kids and find Kelsi himself. Charlie snuck a glance at Ryan. He was able to recognize the dueling expressions going to battle on the blond man's face. It would seem this was a task Ryan was unsure of as well. And it was because of this that Charlie opted for Ryan to look for Kelsi. There was unfinished business there...things were in definite need of being cleared up. It could be beneficial for the two ex-friends to have some time alone to talk.

"She's probably in the rehearsal room downstairs Ryan."

And with Charlie's short sentence, Ryan knew he had the other man's support.

Ryan should have known Kelsi would seek the solace of the rehearsal room. That would have been her course of action in the past...obviously some things hadn't changed. Ryan had been given a tour that morning of the theater, so he knew exactly where the rehearsal room was.

He knew she was in there before he saw her. It was as if his body recognized her nearness before she was even in his peripheral vision. Ryan's heart started to beat erratically as he felt a warmth spread throughout his body. He walked through the doorway and instantly spotted her. Kelsi sat facing the piano, away from the point in which Ryan stood. She wasn't playing, it was as if she were simply lost in thought. Her hair had gotten longer. It was an odd thought for Ryan to have and definitely something he wouldn't normally notice. But he had always loved Kelsi's hair...all of those soft and crazy curls.

Kelsi's back stiffened as she realized she was no longer alone. She didn't need to turn around to recognize who was in the room with her. Many things had changed in the last two years, but Kelsi's innate awareness of Ryan was not one of them. She unconsciously took a deep breath, taking in Ryan's familiar scent. He always smelled like rain, and not a light drizzle, more like a free falling down pour.

She opened up conversation, her back still to the man in the doorway.

"What are you doing here Ryan?" Kelsi asked, her voice devoid of any noticeable emotion.

"Matthew was wondering where you were, I came to find you." Ryan answered, his gaze focused on the small of Kelsi's back.

"I'll go find the kids in a moment, I am sure they are happy as clams with Charlie. You didn't answer my question though." Kelsi said, turning to face the man who used to know her better than anyone else.

"What do you mean?" Ryan asked, honestly not understanding what Kelsi was getting at.

"What are you doing _here_ Ryan? What are you doing in Chicago and in this theater...the very theater where I happen to work?" Kelsi asked, suspicion lacing her tone.

Ryan was taken aback...this was a whole new facet to Kelsi's personality. Kelsi never used to ask so many pointed questions, it just wasn't her way.

"I am in Chicago for work. I joined the touring company of "Mary Poppins", and I am going to be in many places within the next couple of years touring...not just Chicago. I came early because I needed to have some time off and find a place to stay while I'm in town. I figured it would be nice to know my surroundings a bit before the show started its run. And as for being in _this theater_, I had nothing to do with that. You and I working together again is just a simple case of chance. I would be lying if I were to tell you I didn't know you were living here, but that didn't have anything to do with me taking the job. Not to say that it wasn't a bonus." Ryan paused when he saw the shocked look that came over Kelsi's face with his last comment.

"Wow...that's...blunt." Kelsi offered, not able to think of a better word.

Kelsi didn't know what she was feeling at the moment. She was a bit offended she wasn't a reason Ryan was in Chicago...but that didn't make any sense...did it? The fact that Ryan mentioned her as a "bonus" made her feel somewhat like a consolation prize. And that didn't make much sense either. Kelsi felt like her thoughts were a jumbled mess. She was surprised she still remembered her own name.

Ryan held his breath...he had just told Kelsi a lie, a blatant lie. A huge part of the reason he accepted the offer to join the tour was because he knew there was a chance he would see Kelsi again. He had missed her friendship. He hadn't realized exactly how much until he had seen her on the train. With that simple chance sighting, all of the wonderful memories they had formed together came flooding back, as well as how empty his life had felt since she left.

So why did he lie. The answer was simple...Ryan didn't know how to tell her the truth. For that matter, he didn't know how she would take the truth.

"I'm hoping we can work together peacefully, without too many hard feelings." Ryan started. "I think it will be easier for everyone involved with the production if we could form some sort of truce. We used to be great friends Kels-" Ryan was cut off by Kelsi.

"The best," Kelsi started, "we were best friends."

"You're right. No one knew me better than you. And no one has since. Do you think we could try to be friends again Kels...or at least friendly?" Ryan asked, somewhere between dread and hope in regards to her answer.

Kelsi understood what Ryan was asking. Could they move on and put the past behind them. And in all honesty, Kelsi didn't know if she could. She doubted they would ever be able to get to the level of closeness they once possessed, there was too much baggage attached to their relationship to manage that...way too many unresolved issues. But could they be friendly acquaintances? Kelsi had the feeling that's what Ryan was really asking. And even though he wasn't asking too much out of her, Kelsi still didn't know if she was capable of even that.

Ryan and Kelsi stood stock still, blue eyes meeting blue eyes. An invisible electric current seemed to be strung from Kelsi's middle to Ryan's. As if a bind that was beyond either of their control was in charge of the situation.

Kelsi brought her mind back to Ryan's original question. In reality, it was such a simple request. It wasn't like they were expecting a ton from one another. But then why was there such hesitation on both ends? It was because both Ryan and Kelsi innately knew this "truce" was destined to change everything. Emotional walls that had been built could possibly be tumbled. Both parties were going to have to challenge themselves and each other to forgive. There was more than a "simple" question between them...this was a life change.

Kelsi answered Ryan as honestly as she could.

"I think I can try."


	6. Chapter 6

_**Thanks for reading and reviewing. I hope you guys are enjoying this story.**_

Kelsi and Ryan were partaking in the most awkward walk known to man. It would have been rude for Kelsi to not follow Ryan back to the stage, especially when he had come looking for _her_. And after all, they did have a tentative truce. There was only one possible thing the tiny composer could do to help loosen the present tension...small talk.

"So...um...how's Sharpay?" Kelsi asked, wincing over her awkward tone.

Ryan seriously thought the tension between him and Kelsi could be cut with a knife...an extremely sharp knife. True, they had come to a mutual understanding concerning their relationship, or lack thereof, but apparently that did nothing to lesson the tension present. Ryan remembered how it used to be...so easy. Neither of them even had to think before they spoke. There was such complete comfort and understanding that no filter was necessary and every topic was okay. Ryan immediately saw that his last thought was not at all true. If it had been, Kelsi never would have felt the need to leave. Ryan literally shook his head, attempting to ward off his mind from going to the night Kelsi shared she had feelings that surpassed friendship. All of the sudden Ryan noticed that Kelsi had stopped walking...and was looking at him strangely.

"Ryan...are you alright? It looked like you left for a moment." Kelsi stated, concern lacing her tone.

Ryan attempted to bring himself back to the present. The past was done, there was nothing he could do to change it. There really was no use dwelling over the possibilities that regarded "what if" scenarios.

"I'm fine Kels, my mind just wandered. You had asked about Sharpay right?" Ryan said, sneaking a glance at Kelsi while resuming their walk towards the theater.

Kelsi was wearing her worried expression. The one where her big blue eyes grew in size and a tiny wrinkle of concentration formed right between her eyebrows. Ryan loved that expression, he had always found it to be one of Kelsi's most endearing traits. Without her even verbalizing her thoughts, the person she was conversing with could always tell when she was concerned for them. Ryan felt his heart jump with the realization that Kelsi was possibly worried about him. And with that discovery, came the instant need to put the tiny composer's mind at ease.

"Of course you asked about Sharpay. My sister is....still my sister. She's doing great though. She is in New York, working the Broadway circuit. She and Zeke are still together." Ryan found as he continued to talk, the tension that had previously been present started to lesson...naturally.

Kelsi quickly became somewhat wrapped up in hearing about her old East High friends that she hadn't stayed in contact with.

"That's great. God, I miss Zeke. What has he been up to? Besides being thrilled that he finally captured the Ice Queen." Kelsi gasped over her last comment pertaining to Sharpay. She hadn't meant to refer to Ryan's twin that way. She had just become so comfortable with the short session of reminiscing. There was a time Kelsi wouldn't have worried about offending Ryan with such a comment, but things had changed...they had changed. She no longer knew what consisted of being an okay comment compared to one that was offensive.

Ryan couldn't help but laugh at Kelsi's slip-up.

"It's okay Kels. While I love my sister, even I have witnessed her "Ice Queen" in full form. Her relationship with Zeke is one of the best things that has ever happened to her though. He seems to have a real calming effect. The Ice Queen has definitely thawed. There are still moments when the old Sharpay comes out, but for the most part I think you'd be pretty surprised at who my sister has become. I know I am extremely proud of who she is now." Ryan said easily, calming the tiny girl's nerves.

Kelsi couldn't get over how good Ryan was at easing her mind. He had always been able to do that in what seemed like a completely effortless manner. Kels felt her feet halt as she realized the truth...she had missed him. And not just a few of his traits, like his ability to calm her, or maker her laugh, or get lost in the music. She had missed every single small and huge thing about Ryan Evans. A sounding alarm went off in Kelsi's head as she felt one of the perfectly constructed walls surrounding her heart crumble. And as that hypothetical wall came tumbling down, Kelsi knew there was presently nothing she could do to resurrect it. Kelsi quickly brought herself back to her original question, attempting to shake off the warm feelings that were currently encompassing her body.

"Zeke!" Kelsi literally shouted his name. "What about Zeke, what happened to Zeke!" The odd nervous outburst stumbled from of her mouth and there was nothing Kelsi could do to stop it.

It seemed at the moment she was incapable of coherent conversation. And who could blame her really? She had spent 2 years taking care of herself, protecting her heart from Ryan Evans. And now, out of nowhere, in what seemed like a spur of the moment surprise, he was back. And not just geographically back as in here, in Chicago. He was back in her life, working with her, haunting her....Kelsi trailed off the inner ramble as realization hit her. Oh God...this was not good. Everything she had worked so hard to protect and secure was in definite jeopardy.

Ryan was aware of the fact that Kelsi was going through some kind of internal struggle. He was just torn as to whether or not he should address it. It looked to be very personal. There were all levels of panic running across her features. And his gut instinct told him that he was a huge part of this panic attack. And while most of Ryan felt horrible about causing Kelsi any kind of distress, there was one teeny tiny part that was feeling hopeful. It looked like he could still get under her skin. Perhaps all of those barriers she placed around herself in the last two years weren't as strong as he first thought. To protect Kelsi from any further embarrassment, for he knew she would be feeling quite a bit when she was done with her internal panic attack, Ryan directed the conversation back towards their verbal dialogue.

"Zeke's doing great." Ryan started, watching Kelsi's internal struggle to bring herself back to the present. "He is the assistant chef at a 4 star restaurant in Manhattan. I would say sooner rather than later, our tall friend will be the head chef at his own restaurant...that is after all his dream."

Kelsi forced herself to only concentrate on Ryan's words. She figured if she was able to do that, she could make it to the stage in one piece.

"That's great." Kelsi started softly, attempting to make her verbal and motor skills work at the same time as they drew nearer to the stage's entrance. "I am so happy for him. He deserves every perk life has to offer."

Ryan could sense the sincerity in what Kelsi said about Zeke. As they walked through the doors that led to the stage, Ryan felt regret over the fact that they had reached their destination so quickly. He wished he could have had just a few more minutes of Kelsi's time. And chances were she was going to be steering somewhat clear of the theater now that she knew he was here.

Kelsi thought that was the longest walk she had ever participated in...it seemed to last forever. And she seriously doubted her aching heart could have taken another moment with out some sort of break down. Right now the only thing Kelsi wanted to do was gather up the kids and get the hell out of there...in a somewhat graceful manner that didn't seem as rushed as it was, Kelsi mentally added. Her mind was quickly taken over by Lauren and Matthew as they soon realized she was back.

"Kels bells!" Lauren yelled, her shining red hair a blur as she ran from the stage and towards Kelsi.

"KELSI!" Matthew roared (it seemed most of Matthew's conversation consisted of roaring), as he quickly followed his sister's trail.

Kelsi felt her heart fill, as it always did, when four small arms wrapped around her middle. She wasted no time in getting down to the kid's level, immediately enveloping them in a huge group hug. Kelsi's bottom quickly hit the floor, as the weight of two children bowled her over. There was no way she could even attempt to stop the tears that clouded her vision as she rewarded Lauren and Matthew with smacking kisses, followed closely with raspberries. (This never failed in making the children erupt in laughter.) And of course once Kelsi had introduced the raspberry war, the kids had to retaliate.

The scene unwrapping before Ryan was so intimate, and that was unexpected to the young man. He had known Kelsi was close to the children she watched, but until that moment he had no idea how specifically "close" they were. As Ryan saw the group hug and inside jokes take place beside him, he recognized what he was witnessing....a family. These kids had provided Kelsi with a purpose and a family. And Ryan was shocked to discover, Kelsi seemed as able to get lost in Lauren and Matthew as she did her music.

"Are you guys ready to get bundled back up and hit the road?" Kelsi asked. "Maybe we can make pizza for lunch?"

Kelsi's lunch option was met with the enthusiastic response she expected.

"PIZ-ZA!" Matthew yelled...again, taking a comedic turn with his pronunciation of the word.

"Oh yes, can we make the crust ourselves, like last time?" Lauren asked, her green eyes huge and bright.

"Let me think about that, hmmm...darling Lauren, I think that is a grand idea." Kelsi supplied, laughing as Lauren and Matthew began to perform their impromptu happy dance.

Charlie and Reilly walked up to the two young dancers.

"What's going on here...happy dancing? What could have brought this on?" Reilly asked, laughing as Matthew decided her question should be answered by him shaking his booty and murmuring "Bow-chicka-bow-bow-chicka-chicka-bow-bow."

"I am a little offended that I wasn't included in this dance of happiness." Charlie added.

At Charlie's urging, Lauren was instantly by his side, falling into step easily as Charlie twirled her around.

Kelsi turned to take in Ryan's bemused expression. She could guess he had never seen anything like this before.

Ryan had never seen anything quite like this before. He had definitely never witnessed a "happy dance", and he was a little playfully disappointed that he had not come up with the term. He found his feet naturally wanting to join in the dance, moving in time to Matthew's acapella version of a song, he was sure the little boy had made up.

Kelsi stifled a laugh when she noticed Ryan's foot tapping out the rhythm of Matthew's song. Unbelievable...he wanted to join in. And with that thought, Kelsi knew it was time to go. There was no way her heart could survive watching Ryan dance with the kids.

"Okay tiny dancers...let's head out. The Kelsi train is leaving the building. Who's coming?" Kelsi started.

She turned to see Ryan giving her an expectant grin as his hand began to raise. Kelsi burst out laughing, it was impossible not to.

"No, not you Evans. The Kelsi train only takes passengers who are 5 feet or under in height." Kelsi supplied, still smiling.

Charlie walked up to Kelsi, draping his arm around her shoulders.

"Yep, Reilly and I have tried to hitch a ride on the infamous Kelsi train and have been turned down. In fact I think little K here is the only adult who meets the height requirements." Charlie said, making a point to look down and smile at Kelsi.

"You're funny." Kelsi said with a mocking deadpan tone.

"I try." Charlie responded, smiling.

Reilly focused her attention on Kelsi, as she helped Lauren and Matthew get into their winter gear.

"Hey Kels, are you meeting us at Pequod's for pizza tonight." Reilly asked.

Ryan's ears all of the sudden perked up to an even higher degree. Was there a chance he may be able to see Kelsi again...tonight? He tried to seem nonchalant as he brazenly listened in on the conversation going on between Reilly and Kelsi. He was interrupted by a sharp tug on his pants leg. He looked down to see Lauren's little heart shaped face turned towards him. Ryan quickly bent down to the young girl's level.

"Yes?" Ryan asked, wanting to give Lauren his attention, but also not wanting to miss any of the conversation that was going on above him.

"It's not polite to eavesdrop." Lauren supplied, her tone and demeanor prim and pretty as a picture.

Ryan felt a heat wash over his features as he realized he was just chastised by a five year old. He gave Lauren his utmost attention, as he responded to her accusation.

"You're right. And in normal circumstances, I would not stoop to eavesdropping, but I believe it may be my only chance at figuring out a way to see Kelsi again."

Ryan was as shocked as Lauren by the truth that came stumbling out of his mouth.

Lauren's eyes widened dramatically at Ryan's confession. She had been unsure as to her feelings for the blond haired man, but after his last comment, Lauren decided she liked him. It was obvious he liked Kelsi...a lot. Lauren leaned over to whisper quietly to who was now going to be her co-conspirator.

"We will probably be going sledding on Monday on the hill behind my school, as long as the snow is still on the ground." Lauren mumbled, before quietly adding where her school was.

Ryan looked at Lauren, surprise evident in not just his expression, but also his voice.

"Why are you telling me this?" Ryan asked in wonder.

Lauren responded with the truth.

"Because I have decided to like you." Lauren started, quick to add, "Even though Kelsi looks uncomfortable when you are around."

Ryan was touched and honored that he had somehow miraculously won not only Charlie's trust today, but this young girl's as well. He made a mental promise to himself that he would not screw this chance up.

"Well, I like you too...very much." Ryan stated honestly, smiling gently as he noticed the soft pink blush that heightened Lauren's cheeks. "And I promise to work very hard to make Kelsi not have that uncomfortable feeling around me anymore."

Lauren smiled a full smile at Ryan, showing off a full set of baby teeth. Matthew came over to stand beside his sister, followed closely by Kelsi.

Kelsi had been so wrapped up making dinner plans with Charlie and Reilly, she didn't notice until a second ago the private conversation taking place between Ryan and Lauren.

"C'mon kids, let's go." Kelsi said, gripping the hands of her two young charges, while giving Ryan a suspicious look.

Ryan tried to look as innocent as possible...he didn't think it was working though.

Kelsi could tell Ryan was up to something, and she didn't like the premonition she was having that Lauren was somehow involved.

"Bye Ryan." Kelsi said uneasily, looking at Ryan in a way that seemed to say "what are you up to?"

"Bye Kelsi." Ryan responded way too innocently, looking at Kelsi in a way that seemed to say "I don't know what you are talking about."

As Kelsi and the kids walked towards the entrance of the theater, she couldn't shake the feeling that Ryan was up to something....and that something in question most definitely involved her.

_**Quick disclaimer...I also don't own the restaurant Pequod's. Even though I highly recommend anyone visiting Chicago to try their deep dish pizza...I think it's the best in the city. :-)**_


	7. Chapter 7

_**Hey guys...thanks for reading and reviewing. Sorry this update has taken a little longer. My house has had some maintenance issues, so I have been a little busy with that.**_

Kelsi was simultaneously playing Barbies with Lauren and cars with Matthew when their mom, Sarah walked through the door. The rest of the day had been relatively uneventful when compared with the drama at the theater earlier. Kelsi and the kids had made pizza, which the kids had devoured. Kelsi had opted for a leafy green salad, knowing she would be eating pizza with Charlie and Reilly later in the evening. They had spent the remainder of the day playing inside; constructing puzzles, playing hide and go seek and watching a little television. They usually ended their days with the kid's favorite toys: Barbies for Lauren and cars for Matthew, respectively.

Sarah always knew where to find her little family when she came home from work. They were always in Lauren's room, sitting in what seemed like a carnival of toys. With Lauren's pink-themed Barbies getting chased by Matthew's miniature Matchbox cars. And she loved the continuity of that fact. She had lived through enough surprises to last a lifetime. If anyone had ever told her she would be raising her two small children in a one parent household at the age of 38, she would have thought they were playing a cruel joke on her. Sarah had met her husband Mark when she was just over 30 years old. She now wished she had some exotic story to tell Lauren and Matthew concerning how their Mommy and Daddy met, but the truth was they had met through an online website. Sarah grinned as she reflected on how unromantic that was. Because in truth that was the least romantic thing about Mark's courtship. The moment Sarah had seen her future husband it was as if fireworks had suddenly exploded not only within her own body, but in the restaurant where they were meeting too. She had known the moment her green eyes met his bright blue ones, that _he_ was the man she was going to marry. They had been engaged 6 months later and had eloped about three months after that. They hadn't been trying to have a baby when Sarah discovered she was pregnant with Lauren. But they had been so happy with the prospect of adding on to their family. Lauren had changed everything...their world had revolved around her. She was definitely her Daddy's little girl. Mark and Sarah had taken to parenthood so naturally, that they had decided to try for another baby. And that's how Matthew came to be. They were talking about adding to their family yet again, when Mark found out he was sick. The cancer claimed him so quickly, there had hardly been time to say goodbye. Sarah felt a tear drift down her cheek as she thought of her husband's final days. He had written letters to both Lauren and Matthew; letters Sarah would give the children when they were older. She made sure on a daily basis to tell her kids how much they were loved by not just their Mommy, but their Daddy too. And every night before bed, Lauren and Matthew sent prayers and blew kisses to their Daddy in heaven.

Sarah had been struggling with figuring out how to raise her kids on her own when Kelsi had come into the picture. Kelsi had been nothing less than a Godsend for Sarah's suddenly shrinking family. Kelsi, with her music, laughter and underlying sorrow had been the healing force for not only Lauren and Matthew, but Sarah as well. Sarah was still stunned that such an ordinary miracle arrived on her doorstep in just the nick of time. And Kelsi had been that for her family...a miracle. Kelsi had reminded all of them what it was like to laugh, smile, and to simply find joy in the everyday occurrences in life. Sarah had been able to tell during the petite girl's interview that she had been running from something. And in time, Kelsi had opened up to Sarah. Little by little, Kelsi would share stories of her life in New York and Albuquerque. Sarah liked to think Kelsi viewed her as a second mother or a big sister figure. Because in Sarah's eyes, Kelsi was a member of her family.

Sarah smiled warmly as she made her way up the winding staircase that led to the upstairs bedrooms. She couldn't help but laugh at the sight and sounds that greeted her. Matthew was currently trying to park not only his cars in the Barbie house, but himself as well. How he had contorted his body to fit inside, Sarah would never know. But she did know, it would be a story she was sure to repeat to his future dates someday. Lauren was trying to act angry over her brother's interference, but she was loosing the battle quite quickly. Giggles were escaping her lips as she tried to reprimand Matthew on the perils of putting one's body inside a doll's playhouse. And Kelsi, she was laughing so hysterically, she had tears trailing down her cheeks. Surprisingly, Matthew was the first to notice his Mother's presence.

"MOMMY!" Matthew yelled. "I'm inside Lo's house." Matthew continued, using the nickname he had invented to shorten Lauren's name.

"I can see that Mister Man. But how in the world do you plan on getting out of this predicament?" Sarah asked, while she squatted down to look through one of the house's mini windows.

"I dunno Mommy, I'm stuck." Matthew said, not at all concerned about the possible problems that could be associated with this scenario.

Kelsi decided now would be a good time to speak up. She didn't want Sarah to think she had okayed Matthew's latest adventure.

"I had gotten up to use the bathroom. When I came back, Matthew was in the house." Kelsi said by way of explanation.

Sarah shared a smile with Kelsi.

"Oh, don't you worry Kelsi. I knew upon first sight, you had nothing to do with this." Sarah responded.

Lauren walked over to her Mother, enfolding her in a loving hug. Sarah took a moment to smell the strawberry conditioner that scented Lauren's gentle waves.

"Hey Butterfly...how was your day?" Sarah said, she had long ago adopted Mark's pet name for their little girl.

"It was good. We went to the theater." Lauren supplied.

"You did. And was it just as fun as it usually is? Or more to the point, should I be asking you how Charlie is?" Sarah asked with a smile.

Kelsi smiled a sweet smile as she noticed the telling pink blush cover Lauren's freckled cheeks.

"It was a lot of fun. Charlie was there and I love him." Lauren stated, before taking a deep breath a continuing. "And guess who else was there?"

Kelsi felt her cheeks heat and a nervous energy enter her body at the mere mention of Lauren's question.

Sarah noticed the change in Kelsi's demeanor immediately.

"Who was there sweetheart?" Sarah asked, not quite understanding the hint of worry that accompanied the question.

"Ryan." Lauren said, without any further explanation.

Explanation was not necessary. Sarah knew exactly who Lauren was talking about the moment the name left her little pink lips. Sarah turned towards Kelsi, concern evident on every one of her features.

"Are you okay?" Sarah asked, her eyes searching Kelsi's.

Kelsi was honest with Sarah. At the moment she was beyond grateful to have a mother-like figure here in Chicago.

"I am...alright. It was a surprise...shock really. But, we have come to some sort of mutual understanding." Kelsi said, her tone even.

Matthew interrupted any further conversation at the moment.

"Mommy, Kelsi...um...I'm ready to get out now." Matthew said, his little feet wiggling from outside the doll house.

Kelsi bent over and worked on pulling Matthew out feet first, while Sarah maneuvered the young boy's limbs so they wouldn't run into anything. After some crafty shifting of the little boy's body, Kelsi and Sarah manged to free Matthew from the confines of the Barbie house.

"I'm free!" Matthew squealed, as he gifted his mother with a welcoming hug.

Kelsi spared a quick glance at her watch, her expressive bespectacled eyes widening when she caught sight of the time.

"I'd better run you guys. I have to make it to Pequod's for pizza by 7. And you never know how reliable public transportation is." Kelsi stated, as she hurried to pick up some randomly placed toys.

"Mommy, stay and play with us." Lauren said.

"Of course baby, let me just walk Kelsi out and order us some take out for dinner, okay?" Sarah stated, as she lifted her body up from the floor.

Kelsi felt her heart fill as Lauren and Matthew launched themselves at her small frame, bestowing their usual farewell upon her tiny body.

"Bye Kels Bells. I love you so much!" Lauren said, her small arms almost reaching all the way around Kelsi's waist.

Matthew wrapped his arms around both his sister and Kelsi's body, sandwiching them all together.

"Love you Kelsi. See you later." Matthew said.

Kelsi wrapped her arms around the small duo, as she used her slight weight as leverage to lift the kids slightly off the ground.

"I love you guys soooooo much! Have a good weekend, okay? And I can't wait to see you Monday."

"We already miss you." Lauren said, breaking away from Kelsi's body and placing a light kiss on the young composer's hand.

Lauren and Matthew followed Kelsi and Sarah downstairs. Sarah turned towards her children and spoke to them softly, as Kelsi bundled up for the awaiting cold weather.

"Why don't you both think about what you would like for dinner, while I speak to Kelsi for a minute." Sarah said, quickly diverting her kids' attention towards their future dinner.

Sarah walked Kelsi to the front door, pausing at the threshold for a quick moment.

"Why don't you come over for dinner tomorrow night. We would have more time to talk after the kids go to bed. I am sure you are trying to adjust to Ryan's recent arrival, company could be a good natural therapy." Sarah offered with a motherly smile.

Kelsi smiled warmly at her employer. At times she could hardly believe how lucky she was to have found a job with such a caring atmosphere.

"Thank you so much for the offer Sarah, but I'll be okay. I think tomorrow will be a good day for me to have to myself." Kelsi supplied in response.

"Well, you take care of yourself sweetie." Sarah said, enfolding the smaller woman in a tight hug.

"I will. Have a great weekend. I'll see you Monday." Kelsi said, walking down the steps and into the fresh falling snow.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Ryan stood outside of the pizza joint, looking up towards the bright blue awning as snow came tumbling from the sky. Kelsi was going to be here tonight. She was meeting up with Charlie and Reilly; and she had no idea that he was crashing the party. Well, technically Ryan wasn't necessarily "crashing the party", he had been invited by Charlie. The only catch was neither Reilly nor Kelsi knew he was going to be there. And really, why was he here? He had already seen Kelsi earlier today. And even though a tentative truce had been worked out between them, she had made it pretty clear she had no wish to see him again any time soon. Ryan took a moment to ponder whether "later that same night" really classified under too soon? Who was he kidding...of course it was too soon...for Kelsi. In all honesty, Ryan was looking forward to seeing his old friend again. He had missed her...so much. He hadn't truly realized to what capacity, until he had seen her again. The moment his eyes had first caught sight of her, it was as if a part of him had been renewed.

And with that thought, Ryan walked into the pizza/ bar. The place really was a hole in the wall. There were tiny tables of varying shapes, heights and sizes scattered around in no particular order. As Ryan began to unbutton his coat, he compared his dress slacks and button down shirt to the jeans, t-shirts and sweaters surrounding him. Well, obviously he was quite over dressed. The space was so small, it took Ryan no time at all to locate Charlie, Reilly and some other people from the theater Ryan had met earlier in the day. Charlie had filled him in during his invite on the tradition associated with Pequod's. For the last five years, it has been a weekly tradition that every Friday night the gang from the theater met for pizza and beer. As Ryan scanned the newly familiar faces, he realized Kelsi wasn't among the bunch. He hoped that meant she was still coming.

Reilly was the first person to notice Ryan's entrance. She immediately whipped her head around to give Charlie a shocked look, before training her gaze back on Ryan. Charlie, noticing the direction of Reilly's glare, knew he was soon going to be hearing an earful from his girlfriend.

"Charlie! What were you thinking, inviting Ryan here? You do of course realize Kelsi is going to be walking through those doors any second now?" Reilly said with a mixture of anger and disbelief, while gesturing towards the front swinging doors serving as an entrance to the building.

Charlie actually had the gall to wear quite the innocent expression as he responded to his girlfriend.

"What's the problem Rei? Ryan's a part of the company now. What are we supposed to do, always exclude him from any of the activities we take part in, just because he and little K have a past?"

Reilly was forced to admit, Charlie did have a point. She wore a chagrined expression as she conceded.

"Okay, I know you're right. I just don't want Kelsi to get hurt. We are her safe haven Charlie, and Ryan's presence is making that said haven more threatening by the minute." Reilly stated by way of explanation, focusing her attention on Charlie.

She was completely unaware that Ryan had heard the end of her statement. Reilly had the grace to blush, as her brown eyes met Ryan's blue ones. She started to try to explain her comment, when Ryan interrupted her.

"You don't need to explain yourself Reilly. I understand where you are coming from. And honestly, I think Kelsi is lucky to have someone like you looking out for her. I can leave if it would make it easier for you guys." Ryan said, he was already starting to shrug into his jacket when Charlie stopped him.

"Ryan, please stay." Charlie said, laying a tanned hand on the blond man's arm. "The more time you and Kelsi spend in one another's company, the less awkward things are bound to be."

Reilly was quick to add her two cents.

"Charlie's right Ryan. You should stay. I am sorry you had to hear part of that earlier conversation. You are a part of this company, you belong here." Reilly felt Charlie's strong hand join hers under the table, as she made her welcoming comments.

Ryan took in the genuine expressions on both of his new friend's faces.

"Thanks guys, I really appreciate it. I am going to go up to the bar and get a drink, do you guys want anything?" Ryan asked politely.

By way of response, Charlie and Reilly both held up their practically full bottles of beer.

And of course, because sometimes fate is cruel that way, the moment Ryan turned his back to the front door in order to face the bar to place his drink order, was the moment Kelsi walked into the restaurant.

Kelsi didn't even need to scan the room, she knew exactly where her friends were, where they always were, around the large round table in the back right corner of the restaurant. She made a beeline straight for the table, not noticing the man turning around at the bar with his drink....it was an almost too perfect collision, with liquid spilling over both herself and the man involved.

"Ohmigosh...I am so sorry..." Kelsi started to apologize and then made the mistake of looking up. "Ryan?"

Wow, this was _so_ not the way Ryan had planned on saying hello to Kelsi. This was actually the exact opposite of the greeting he had pictured in his mind.

"Hey Kels." Ryan said, quickly grabbing some napkins from the bar to wipe of the alcohol covering both himself and the small woman.

Kelsi gratefully took the napkins offered, as she hurried to blot up the moisture currently soaking into her only winter coat.

"Thanks." Kelsi said politely, rapidly shaking off her proper manners to interrogate. "What are you doing here Ryan?"

"Oh, that...um...Charlie invited me." Ryan said by way of explanation.

Kelsi took a moment to zero her gaze in on Charlie, once she made eye contact with her so-called friend, she gave him a glare cold enough to freeze ice. Oh, he would certainly be hearing from her later.

"Did he now. Well, that was convenient. What are you guys best friends now or something?" Kelsi stated with anger. She was mad. This was her turf. It was one thing for Ryan to be at her theater, that was business. This..._this_ was personal...this was her social life.

Ryan couldn't believe her. Who was this woman, and what had she done with the _real_ Kelsi? The old Kelsi would have never had this much of an attitude.

"What is your problem Kels?" Ryan stated, his own anger rising.

Oh, the gall of the man. _He_ was asking her what _her_ problem was? Her space was getting invaded, that was her problem. The nice, safe bubble she had spent so much time and energy creating was being infiltrated by the very person who had caused the building of the said bubble in the first place.

"My problem is that you are everywhere Evans. I can't even go to the bathroom without you waiting outside the door." Kelsi supplied, her words gaining speed the more worked up she got.

"Wow...overreact much?" Ryan countered

Kelsi just stood there with her mouth hanging open, attempting to say something...something really good and...intimidating. She kept opening her mouth, waiting for the zinger to come out. But nothing did, she just stood there, opening and closing her mouth like a guppy.

Ryan couldn't help but laugh. She was seriously resembling a little girl at the moment, her curling hair popping out from under her knit cap, as she stood there opening and closing her mouth rapidly.

Kelsi couldn't believe his nerve...he was laughing...at her. She took her mitten covered hand and held it right under Ryan's nose, oblivious to how ridiculous it looked.

"You..._you..._will not sit by me!" Kelsi winced the moment the words were out of her mouth, could she get any more pathetic? Dear Lord, she couldn't give an insult to save her life. Not that she necessarily wanted to _insult _Ryan, she just wanted to set up boundaries.

Ryan was able to get his laughter under control, but not his smile. Kelsi seriously looked like a disgruntled kitten, with her mitten pointing at air. He would have to remember to get her angry more often...she was damn near adorable. Of course he couldn't tell her that, even though he really wanted to. Instead, he simply said "fine."

And so Ryan sat on one side of the table, while Kelsi sat on the other. There were about ten people present, so it was easy for the two not to talk to one another. But seeing as it was a round table, it was impossible for them not to catch each other's eye every now and again. Ryan sat next to Charlie and Reilly. It seemed Kelsi was still a little...no scratch that, a lot mad with Charlie. Kelsi sat next to one of the stage hands, a nice looking man named Simon. It was obvious to Ryan that Simon was interested in Kelsi. He was paying far too much attention to her. Honestly, it was like the man was completely unaware that there were other people sitting at the table. Ryan felt his ire rising as he watched Simon push one of Kelsi's stray curls behind her ear, his hand lingering on her smooth cheek.

Kelsi had known Simon was interested in her. He had asked her out on a few dates in the past. Kelsi had partaken in a few good conversations with him, but always in a group setting. She had actually been considering possibly taking him up on his offer of a date. But now with Ryan back, she knew it wouldn't be fair to Simon. He really genuinely liked her, and honestly Kelsi couldn't seem to wrap her mind around any man other than Ryan...damn him. Seriously, how dare he come back here and push her all the way back to square one. She had been doing so well. And then he shows up out of nowhere, and her mind is complete incoherent mush.

Kelsi tried to focus on Simon, he was saying something to her, she just wasn't sure what. Kelsi decided to wing it and just laugh, hoping he had just shared something where that was the appropriate response.

Ryan watched Kelsi laughing at the other man. Look at her, flirting shamelessly. He didn't have to sit here and watch that. More to the point, he didn't have to put up with that. Before giving it a moment's thought, Ryan stood up and walked around the table. He stopped directly in front of Kelsi, positioning himself between her and Simon.

"Outside _now._" Ryan stated in an eerily quiet voice.

Kelsi had never seen Ryan like this before. Why on Earth was he acting so weird? And who did he think he was, demanding things of her...he had no right.

"What? No. Go away Ryan. You're being rude." Kelsi said in response, trying to look around Ryan to whisper an apology to Simon.

Ryan felt like he was going to burst any second. Red hot anger and jealousy were coursing through his veins...they were a duo of emotions he had never felt together before. He had the imminent need to hit something...preferably Simon's face.

"Kelsi, either you get outside _now_ or I do something that is sure to publicly offend you." Ryan's voice was whisper soft. And quite honestly, his tone frightened Kelsi more than his threat. And because of this fact, Kelsi relented.

"Fine, let's go." Kelsi went to grab for her coat, but felt her arm being pulled by Ryan before she had a chance to.

Ryan whisked Kelsi outside as fast as humanly possible. The moment the were out the door, he drew her to the side, out of the light of the building.

"What the hell were you doing in there?" Ryan demanded.

Kelsi's mouth dropped open for the second time that night.

"What?_ What_? Me? No..nonono..not me, _you?_ What the hell are you doing?" Kelsi countered, somewhat surprised that Ryan still understood her gibberish when he responded.

"I wasn't doing anything other than watch you flirt shamelessly with that..._guy_." Ryan stated, his anger on the rise. Ryan seriously was expecting some sort of fire to come leaping out of his fingers, that's how angry he was.

"Oh please Ryan...I was not flirting. What you saw is called..._talking_. It's quite the concept. Apparently, Simon could give you a few lessons in the art of conversation, because you've got a lot to learn." Kelsi said, her voice raising with each passing word. She was completely unaware of the snow and cold...she was too invested in the present conversation.

"_Talking_? That was not talking Kels...he was...touching you," As Ryan relived Simon's action, he found his own hands reaching into Kelsi's curls, holding her head in place. "He was looking at you...staring really..." Ryan started to trail off as his blue eyes held and captured Kelsi's.

Kelsi felt like she was tied so tight. Her breath was coming out in short gasping spurts as her eyes locked on Ryan's. His blue eyes seemed almost bluer as they shined into hers. It was as if the mood and atmosphere had suddenly shifted. Tension was still evident, but something was different.

Ryan felt what seemed like an invisible tension wrapped around them. It was like some unseen force was drawing him in. All he knew was that he needed to be closer to Kelsi...he needed to feel her.

Ryan's head dipped low, as his lips moved effortlessly towards Kelsi. Their duel breaths mingled. And at the last moment, Kelsi turned her head. Ryan's lips met her cheek, before moving down towards her waiting mouth. Kelsi had about one second to pull away, but she didn't...she couldn't. And as Ryan's lips finally met hers, it was like an electric fuse was lit. This was no gentle first kiss. This kiss was all consuming and filled with heat. It was as if both of them were going up in flames. Kelsi felt her back press roughly against the brick wall. The opposite forces of the cold brick of the building and Ryan's warm mouth making the fuse seem almost hotter. Kelsi just held on to Ryan for dear life, not daring to let go. She turned her mind completely off, only allowing herself to feel. To feel Ryan's silky blond hair as her hands skimmed through it. To feel his strong biceps as she gripped them in order to stay standing. To feel the soft and rough touch of his lips in their first kiss. Oh, the kiss...it seemed she had been waiting forever for this kiss. Forever and ever.

And with that thought, she pushed herself free. She didn't want this. Well, okay a part of her definitely did. But this was wrong, this wasn't how she had always pictured her first kiss with Ryan. It wasn't supposed to be up against a wall and started out of anger. In all of her many fantasies of the past, the kiss had never happened like this. True, she had been waiting for his kiss for forever, but not like this. Kelsi forced herself to break her mouth free, even though her body craved the heat he offered.

"N-no...stop Ryan. T-this isn't right." Kelsi tried to get the words out, but they resembled more a whimper than an order. She tried again.

"R-Ryan...stop..._stop...**Stop!**_" And at her order, Ryan immediately broke himself away from her. Stopping all contact and practically hurling himself out of her arms.

Ryan and Kelsi stood staring at each other. Both of their mouths hung open in shock, as quick panting breaths escaped their lips. Alarmed over not only what had just happened, but also the all consuming need that seemed to encompass both of them and the disbelief that it had actually happened.

Ryan was the first to attempt to speak.

"Kelsi...I-I'm so sorr-"

Kelsi quickly interrupted him.

"Ryan Evans, I swear to God, if you apologize to me right now, I will..." Kelsi paused, thinking of the ending to her threat. "Well, I don't know what I'll do at the moment, but I can promise you it won't be pleasant."

Ryan took her accusation to heart. Opting instead to just stand there and stare at her in silence. After a few seconds, he started to notice the increasing shivers that seemed to be engulfing Kelsi. Dear Lord, he had forced her outside in the middle of winter, without a coat to offer protection from the harsh weather.

"We should go back inside, I didn't mean to take you out of there without a coat." Ryan started to move towards Kelsi, to wrap her in his arms.

Kelsi saw the foolishness in this reaction.

"No, no, no...you stay over there." Kelsi ordered, pointing her finger for emphasis, as she saw Ryan inching towards her.

Ryan froze to the spot, waiting for Kelsi to speak.

"I am going to go in first, and you can follow soon after." Kelsi kept going, before she lost her nerve. "This was a mistake Ryan...this k-kiss...it never should have happened. We're just going to pretend like it never ex-existed." And with that parting comment, Kelsi walked back into the entrance, fighting to hold on to the denial that was serving as a security blanket. Kelsi couldn't deal with that kiss and all of the emotions it had brought up. It was too much. She had already laid her heart on the line once for Ryan Evans...she couldn't risk it again. She couldn't let him break down her walls, she had worked way to hard to put them up.

Ryan watched Kelsi's small frame walk back into the restaurant. He knew Kelsi still cared for him. You didn't kiss someone like that...heck...you didn't feel something like that if you didn't _at least_ care for that person. He could tell she was afraid. Only half of her trembling had been due to the cold, the other half had been fear. And whereas Kelsi may be able to wrap herself up in denial, Ryan couldn't. Something had been awakened in him tonight, something he hadn't known was there. But from the force of his feelings, it was obvious it had been there for quite some time. Kelsi had better get ready, because he was planning on wooing her like nobody's business.


	8. Chapter 8

_**Hi Guys, thanks so much for reading and reviewing. This chapter is starting where the last one left off. I wasn't planning on doing this, but I felt like it was important to view Ryan and Kelsi's immediate reactions. Wishing you all a great week. Love, Jen**_

Kelsi walked back into the restaurant in a state of shock and unrest. She felt like she was ill with the flu, one moment her body seemed completely overheated, followed almost immediately by ice cold chills that brought her to literal trembles. She was forcing her feet to move at a normal pace as she edged closer to the table surrounded by her friends. Her natural inclination was to speed up, to get as far away from the front of the building...and Ryan. She hastened a glance behind her and saw Ryan following at a completely natural pace. For heavens sake, he didn't look effected at all. It wasn't even obvious that he and Kelsi had shared a mind-shattering kiss about a minute ago. Kelsi lifted alternate hands to her tousled curls and swollen lips. She couldn't help but wonder if it was at all noticeable that she had just been ravished against a wall outdoors. In a last minute decision, Kelsi decided against going back to her friends and opted instead to make a bathroom detour.

Ryan was renewed. He didn't know exactly what he felt for Kelsi, but he was aware it surpassed mere friendship. That kiss had been incredible. Completely unexpected and more than somewhat confusing...but incredible all the same. Ryan had never felt anything like that before. He had never had such a sense of rightness before...not even with Amanda. Ryan watched as Kelsi made her way to the bathroom. Without giving it a moments thought, Ryan followed her.

Kelsi stood in front of the vanity, surveying the damage of Ryan's kiss. Her glasses were crooked, her hair was even more unruly than usual, her cheeks were pink and her lips looked like they had been thoroughly kissed. (Which they had.) Kelsi looked down as she polished her glasses, grateful to have the bathroom to herself for the moment. She lifted her head and let out a startled squeal, as she recognized Ryan's blurry figure suddenly behind her. Kelsi quickly spun around.

"Ryan! What are you doing in here? You are aware this is the girl's restroom?" Kelsi asked, hating the high pitch to her voice and the way her hands shook nervously as she replaced her glasses.

"Yeah, I didn't really think about the setting when I followed you in here." Ryan stated nervously, trying to ascertain if they were indeed alone. Had he given himself time to think this through, he probably wouldn't have followed her in here. As Ryan glanced at his unfamiliar surrounding, he felt increasingly awkward.

"Why _did_ you follow me in here Ryan? I was pretty sure we had said everything that needed to be said outside." Kelsi said, a little perturbed that her supposed solitude had been invaded.

"_You_ stated your piece Kels and then you ran off. You didn't wait for my response." Ryan said, his confidence coming back despite the unfamiliar atmosphere.

"I'm...sorry." Kelsi stated awkwardly. She really didn't know what the proper response was in this situation. This was her first time being cornered in the womens' restroom by a man and asked to talk about her feelings. She presently felt like quite a novice regarding her circumstance.

Ryan recognized the discomfort registering from Kelsi's body and features. He knew he was the cause and felt terrible. But he couldn't just brush the whole ordeal under the carpet. There was no possible way he was going to be able to pretend like the kiss didn't happen. He could still feel the imprint of that said kiss through every cell of his body. Did he wish they could have this conversation somewhere else? Hell yes, but that wasn't a present option.

"I don't want to forget about the kiss Kelsi. Or more to the point, I can't forget. I wasn't planning on it happening, I don't know what I was planning...but it wasn't that. I had just wanted to talk. And I was angry, so angry over the attention you were giving that Simon guy." Ryan paused, wishing he could stop the ramble that seemed determined to exit his mouth. "And then we were outside and there was this tension and you were so beautiful..." Ryan stopped his run on sentence, and looked at Kelsi.

"You thought I was beautiful?" Kelsi interrupted.

"Kels, I've always thought you were beautiful." Ryan said, shocked that she wouldn't see what was apparent in the mirror behind her.

"You never told me." Kelsi said in a whisper. She was getting more and more confused the longer this conversation went on. As if she wasn't already confused enough over what had transpired outside a few minutes ago.

"I should have." Ryan said softly.

Ryan and Kelsi just stood there...staring at each other. It was as if something had suddenly shifted in their relationship. Almost as if they were seeing one another a little more clearly. Neither moved, even though Ryan desperately wanted to wrap Kelsi up in his arms. He could tell by the way her arms were wrapped around her middle protectively, she wasn't ready for anything remotely physical.

"I wasn't ready for you to kiss me Ryan." Kelsi stated honestly, voicing Ryan's previous thoughts out loud. "I'm still not. This has all been so...fast."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you or offend you in any way." Ryan said with meaning.

"I know Ry. It's okay." Kelsi said, knowing that Ryan spoke the truth.

Ryan was about to say something when Reilly walked into the bathroom. She stopped the moment she passed the threshold and made eye contact with both Ryan and Kelsi. She quickly glimpsed at the door, to make sure she was in the correct place. Yep, this was definitely the _womens'_ bathroom.

"Hi..." Reilly started, clearly uncomfortable. "Wow, um...this is...weird. I would ask if you need some privacy, but I really have to pee."

Ryan's complexion resembled that of a tomato. This was embarrassing, no, it had already surpassed embarrassing.

"Sure...I was just...leaving." Ryan stated awkwardly. He gave Kelsi one more apologetic glance before heading out of the bathroom.

Kelsi attempted to leave directly after Ryan, but was halted by Reilly's voice.

"Don't even think about leaving this bathroom Kelsi. You have got to tell me what's going on." Reilly stated firmly through the bathroom stall.

"That's going to be a bit difficult, seeing as _I'm_ not even sure what is occurring here." Kelsi said, leaning her back against the wall for support.

Reilly walked out of the stall and proceeded to wash her hands.

"Well, you could start with why Ryan was in the womens' restroom with you. And then you could follow that with what went on outside." Reilly supplied, looking at Kelsi with an expectant grin.

Kelsi was getting ready to answer when the bathroom door opened to reveal..._Charlie_?

"Seriously? Does the sign on the door that says "women" mean nothing anymore?" Kelsi stated in exasperation.

Charlie had the grace to look somewhat sheepish...emphasis on the word "somewhat."

"What? I just happened to notice Ryan come out of here about three seconds after Reilly went in. I figured if he were allowed in, I certainly was." Charlie paused his explanation to give Kelsi an expectant look that matched his girlfriends. "So, what'd I miss?" He asked.

Kelsi couldn't help but laugh at the situation. I seemed like tonight was destined to be a night filled with multiple examples of improbability. First, Ryan get jealous, then he kisses her and the night ends with what resembles a "potty party".

"Why don't I explain everything on the way home...this way I am guaranteed a ride as opposed to the train." Kelsi stated with a cheeky grin.

------------------------------------------------------------

Kelsi walked through her front door and collapsed onto the sofa with an exhausted sigh. Today had been an extremely long and eventful day. Actually, it was the most eventful day Kelsi had ever experienced. The night she had confessed her feelings to Ryan had been a close second. Oh, and then there was the day she got into Juilliard...Dear Lord, her mind was so tired her internal rambles were making less sense than usual. Kelsi's thought were interrupted by the ringing of her cell phone. She shuffled her hand around in her purse, attempting to find the small phone. The last thing she felt like doing at the moment was talking on the phone. Kelsi didn't even check the caller ID before placing the phone up to her ear.

"Hello?" Kelsi said, trying to smother her yawn.

Martha's energetic voice was the exact opposite of Kelsi's current state of mind and body.

"Kels? What's up? You sound sleepy." Martha stated, a hint of worry evident in her voice.

"I'm exhausted. It was a long and...interesting day." Kelsi said, trying to decide if those words did in fact do her day justice. She honestly wasn't sure there were words that explained the day she had just had.

"Why? What happened? Are the kids okay?" Martha asked, thinking instantly that something must have happened with Lauren and Matthew.

Kelsi took the deep breath that was necessary before continuing. There was no way this was going to be a simple and short conversation.

"The kids were perfect." Kelsi paused before asking her next question, preparing for the response she was sure to get. "Why didn't you tell me Ryan was already here Martha? And why did you fail to mention that "Mary Poppins", the show you _and_ Ryan are coming to Chicago to perform is being staged at the theater where you know I work?"

Martha wasted no time in commenting, even though her first response was not at all what Kelsi was expecting.

"Oh crap. You saw him already didn't you?" Martha answered Kelsi's question with one of her own.

"Oh, I saw him...multiple times in fact. It would have been nice to have some semblance of a _warning_." Kelsi stated, too tired to work up any real anger. All she cared about at this point was understanding why Martha had omitted such serious information.

Martha ignored the second part of Kelsi's statement, she was more curious in the reunion of two of her closest friends.

"How was it? You know...seeing him again?" Martha asked.

Kelsi sighed, acknowledging that she wasn't going to get the answers she wanted from Martha until she gave her friend some of her own.

"It was just as you would imagine it to be: tense, weird, awkward, distant-" Kelsi was quickly cut off by Martha.

"That's all? What about romantic, distracted and awe inspiring?" Martha asked.

Kelsi couldn't even attempt to stifle the laugh that escaped her lips.

"Mar, my life is hardly the romance novel you want it to be. You could maybe add "distracted" to the list, but all in all it was pretty uncomfortable and confusing." Kelsi said, as another yawn passed her lips.

"Confusing? Wait a second "confusing" sounds promising. How exactly was it "confusing"?" Martha asked.

Kelsi wasn't going to respond to Martha until she got at least one of her previous questions answered.

"No way Martha...my turn for questions. Why didn't you tell me about Ryan already being here? And about the show being performed in my theater?" Kelsi asked.

Martha let out as exaggerated groan before answering Kelsi.

"Seriously Kels, my questions are _way_ more entertaining than yours. I didn't tell you about Ryan because I didn't think it mattered. It honestly didn't occur to me that you would already be seeing him. I knew he was going to Chicago to gain a familiarity with the city and find a place to live, but I didn't think you two would be crossing paths yet. And as for "Mary Poppins" being scheduled at your theater, I hadn't pieced that part together until you mentioned it. You tend to talk about the kids more than you do the theater." Martha said by way of explanation, before continuing. "Now spill...how exactly was seeing Ryan again _confusing_?"

Kelsi wasn't in the mood to beat around the bush.

"I just wasn't expecting all of my past feelings to come rising to the surface again, you know? I was pretty positive I was over Ryan, and then I see him again and it was like no time had passed. I was still the same girl in love with the same boy. And the frustrating thing is...I don't want to be that girl anymore. I want to move on...I _need _to move on. Two year ago Ryan was able to break my heart in record time, I don't don't want to live through that again....I won't live through that again." Kelsi paused before continuing, getting more and more worked up with every word she spoke. "And then we formed this sort of truce, that we would work at getting along for the sake of the show. And that seemed okay, like it may even be possible. And then he was at dinner tonight with all of _my_ friends. And just seeing him there, seeming to invade every aspect of my life was too much. I completely went off on him...totally overreacted. I felt like such an idiot."

"Oh Kels-" Martha started to interject, but was quickly silenced by Kelsi's continuing explanation.

"And then, I felt like I had finally gained control over my raging overactive insecurities. And I was talking to this nice guy from the theater. You know Simon?"

"The guy who keeps asking you out?" Martha supplied, taking everything Kelsi was saying in.

"Yeah, that one. Well, I guess he must have seemed flirtatious. Even though I wasn't really paying attention. I was trying to listen to what Simon was saying, but I was too caught up in my own thoughts concerning Ryan. And then suddenly, Ryan is standing next to my chair. And is _ordering_ me-"

Martha cut off Kelsi again.

"Wait, wait, wait, wait...Ryan, our Ryan, Ryan Evans _ordered_ you?" Martha asked, her voice holding the shock that was currently apparent on her face.

"_Yes_. I know, I couldn't believe it either. Anyways, he is ordering me to go outside and talk to him. So I go outside and it is totally his turn to overreact. He starts accusing _me_ of flirting with Simon. Which is a joke in and of itself, considering I was completely wrapped up in my own thoughts concerning _Ryan_. And then...and then Ryan's kissing me-"

Once again, Martha cut Kelsi off...this time with a scream.

"What! He _kissed_ you?" Martha asked, not sure whether she wanted to faint or laugh uproariously.

"Yes! I know, I couldn't believe it either and it was happening to me. And Martha, the man can kiss. Doesn't that just figure that Ryan Evans...the man who personifies perfection would also be a kick-ass kisser?" Kelsi said, earning a gasp from Martha.

"Kelsi Nielson...you just swore. You said _ass_, and you never swear."

Kelsi's big blue eyes grew in size as she realized the truth in Martha's statement.

"I know. Do you see what kind of effect the man is having on me?" Kelsi finished her hypothetical question with a muttered, "unbelievable."

Martha couldn't quite believe what kind of day her friend had experienced. She couldn't help but wish she had been there to witness some of it.

"Kels, what are you going to do?" Martha asked, knowing exactly how loaded that question was.

Kelsi let out a huge sigh that caused some of her curls to flutter off her forehead.

"Right now...I am going to bed. After that...I have no idea. But I'll make sure to keep you posted."

And with that Kelsi and Martha said their goodbyes. Kelsi went to bed, praying for a restful, dreamless sleep. What she got was a dream-filled sleep, where Ryan seemed to be the star of the show.

----------------------------------------------------------

Meanwhile, Ryan was in the middle of a very interesting phone conversation with his sister.

"Shar, I wasn't expecting all of these feelings to pop up the moment I saw her. It was as if a part of me had been missing...a part I wasn't even aware I had."

Sharpay Evans let out a sigh as she listened to her twin confess his feelings for Kelsi Nielson.

"Ry, it's natural you would start to feel varying emotions when you saw her. She was your best friend....after _me _of course." Sharpay shared, hoping her last comment would earn a laugh out of her brother.

She did receive a laugh, even if it was a weak one.

"Shar...I kissed her tonight." Ryan said honestly,not surprised at all by the reaction that little bit of knowledge garnered.

"You _what_?!" Sharpay started. "You already kissed her? Ryan Evans, what were you thinking? Has being my brother taught you _nothing?" _Sharpay reacted first and thought about her comments later. Those probably weren't the words of encouragement her brother presently needed. She was quick to apologize. "Sorry Ry...that's probably the last thing you want to hear."

Ryan's ears were still ringing from his sister's mini tirade.

"It's okay. That was actually a pretty tame reaction for you." Ryan said with a slight smile.

Sharpay let out an inelegant snort.

"What are you saying Ryan, that I'm going soft?" She supplied.

"Let's just say I think Zeke is a positive influence on you." Ryan answered.

Sharpay's whole demeanor instantly shifted the moment her boyfriend Zeke was mentioned. It was as if a sudden peace came over her.

"Yeah, well, he'd probably agree with you." Sharpay said honestly before continuing on with their earlier topic. "So...how was the kiss?"

A bittersweet smile fell across Ryan's features.

"The timing was all wrong and the setting wasn't ideal. But the kiss itself? It was perfect Shar. Like nothing I've ever experienced. I had this instant feeling like I was....home." Ryan said, attempting to work out exactly what he had experienced.

"That's wonderful Ry." Sharpay said in response.

Ryan let a rueful laugh escape his lips.

"Yeah, I guess, I don't know if the kiss held quite the same meaning for Kelsi though. As soon as it was over, she fled the scene faster than I had ever seen her move." Ryan paused with a yawn before continuing. "Listen Shar, I am going to go to bed. This day surpassed the definition of long."

"Good night Ry. Sleep well. I love you." Sharpay said meaningfully.

"I love you too Shar...goodnight." Ryan said softly, before hanging up the phone.

Sharpay stared at the phone for a while after she and her brother had hung up. She felt a stray tear run down her cheek. She had been completely moved by her brother's confession. She had witnessed first hand what kind of relationship he had had with Amanda. Watching her brother settle had been one of the hardest things Sharpay had ever experienced. As she listened to him explain his feelings for Kelsi, Sharpay couldn't help but see the similarities in her own feelings for Zeke. Sharpay wanted her brother to find love, and not just any love...true love. It seemed the small composer from his past was the girl destined to give this to her brother. And Sharpay made sure those she loved always got what they wanted. Maybe she would have to plan a little trip out to Chicago.

_**Lions and Tigers and Bears, oh my! **_


	9. Chapter 9

_**Hi Lovelies...Hope your weekend is going well. Thanks...as always for reading and reviewing. Sorry my updates are taking a little bit longer. I have had a lot of stuff going on recently with school and well...life. **_

Kelsi was in the middle of an amazing dream. True the said dream was going to cause more distress when she awoke, but for right now, while she was living it...or dreaming it, it was fabulous.

_Kelsi was sitting alone in the Chicago theater. The baby grand piano, that she so adored, on stage with her. The moment her fingers made contact with the keys, it was as if musical inspiration took off. With no actual thought to what she was playing, Kelsi just let her most natural instincts create. She turned off her mind and allowed herself to feel the music. Chords Kelsi would never have even thought to combine filled the grand space with perfect melodies. None of her usual insecurities were hindering her. Not once did her brain inject itself to ask questions like: what are you doing? Or are you sure this sounds alright? Kelsi's head dipped back, her rich brown hair falling in cascading curls down her back, a lovely smile gracing her features and her bright blue eyes closed tight as she felt the music swirl every which way around her._

_She felt him before she saw him. She had been aware of Ryan's presence the whole time of course. She always knew when he was near. It was as if she had a special seventh sense reserved just for him. This time though, everything was heightened...something was different, something was about to happen. Kelsi felt her hands pause above the keys, as she turned her head to face the man who framed the doorway._

_He was spectacular. Ryan was dressed all in white...white pants, button down shirt and fedora. There was almost something magical about him. He seemed clearer and brighter...sparkly even._

"_You came?" Kelsi's voice held a trace of hesitation. As if some secret part of her couldn't believe this was actually happening._

_A ghost of a smile drifted across Ryan's features, as a warmth filled his blue eyes._

"_Of course I came Kels...I would follow you anywhere, you know that." Ryan said, every aspect surrounding him supporting the truth to that statement._

_Kelsi's lips were parted slightly and trembling as she formed a shaky smile._

"_I was hoping you would, but I wasn't sure." She said, with barely a whisper._

_Ryan's hand came up to gently caress Kelsi's smooth cheek. She leaned into the simple embrace, letting her eyes drift shut upon contact. She felt his finger carefully trace the line of her bottom lip. At the sound of his voice, Kelsi opened her eyes._

"_Please don't doubt me Kelsi...don't ever doubt me." It seemed as though Ryan's eyes were burning the order into hers, the intensity was so fierce. As if he was doing everything within his power to will her to believe._

"_I won't...I promise." Kelsi stated truthfully._

_Kelsi could have sworn she heard a beeping coming from the far excesses of the theater._

"_Do you hear that Ryan?" Kelsi asked, a wrinkle furrowing her brow as she tried to figure out where the tiny sound was coming from. It was odd, the more aware she was of the sound, the louder it became._

Kelsi turned over in bed, willing her body to stay in a dream state as opposed to succumbing to reality. As her eyes squinted open, she realized the insistent beeping from her dream seemed to have followed her to her bedroom. Kelsi sat up slowly, attempting to gain her bearings. Her tiny bedroom was blurry as she struggled to first find her glasses and then figure out what was making the annoying beeping sound. Her fingers absently searched her nightstand until they wrapped around the small frame of her glasses. Placing them on, Kelsi's tired gaze scanned the confines of her room, before finally resting on her cell phone. A faint blue light was flashing indicating messages, accompanied by the dream interrupting beep. Kelsi's eyes narrowed behind her glasses, as she faced her phone. Kelsi worked her fingers through her messy hair as she made her way barefoot across the room to see who had called. She wasn't surprised to find new voice mails and texts from Taylor and Gabby. Obviously Martha had told them about last night's conversation. Quite honestly, the last thing Kelsi wanted to do was relive last night. She just wanted to attempt to forget about it and move on. But Kelsi knew that was going to prove impossible...especially if her recent dream were an indication. Ryan was even haunting her in her sleep. She quickly sent Taylor and Gabby identical basic texts, stating she was sure Martha had done the story justice and she really wasn't up for talking about it yet. She finished with the promise that she would call and catch up soon.

Kelsi began her usual morning routine, starting with her mandatory glass of green tea. She was actually grateful she didn't have plans today. The only thing on her mental "to do" list was to work on the music to "Mary Poppins". With rehearsals starting in one week, she didn't have much time. Besides, this would give her just the outlet she needed to get her mind off Ryan...for a little while anyway.

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Ryan awoke to a persistent banging. It had taken him forever to fall asleep the night before, mainly due to images of Kelsi swirling through his mind. So needless to say, he was not too happy about being woken up. Turning to glance at the clock, Ryan saw that it was 7 am., which meant it was 8 am. In New York. Ryan groggily pulled himself out of bed to investigate the non-stop banging noise that seemed to be perminating through the walls of his hotel room and into his head. He was surprised to realize the sound was coming from his door. The only people he knew in Chicago were those from the theater and...Kelsi. Hope flared to life within his body, as all traces of sleep seemed to evaporate. Ryan sprinted across his spacious suite, the plush carpeting slowing his usual brisk pace down. He had no idea what would bring Kelsi here or what she had to say; but she was the best morning wake up call he could have possibly imagined. Ryan whisked the door open in anticipation, a huge smile ready on his face. His smile instantly left his lips as he stared at the visitor in confusion. Standing there in all of her pink glory, surrounded by luggage was his sister.

"Sharpay...what are you doing here?" Ryan asked, automatically stepping back as his sister breezed into his suite.

Sharpay looked at her completely clueless brother. She tried (unsuccessfully) to smother her smirk as she saw his mouth drop open in disbelief. Thank God she was here...the man was in need of desperate help. There was no way he was going to win Kelsi back if left to his own devices.

"I'm here to help Ry. It is obvious you need a little guidance when it comes to "wooing" Kelsi...that is the word you used last night right?" Sharpay asked, while placing her manicured finger under Ryan's chin to close his open mouth.

All Ryan could do was nod, as he stared dumbfounded at his sister. Seriously, he felt like looking for an audience, because he suddenly felt like he was in a situation comedy.

Sharpay lightly patted her brother's cheek as she took in his bewildered expression.

"Stop gawking Ryan. Please tell me this wasn't your first reaction when you saw Kelsi again? Because if it was...well, we've got a lot of work ahead of us."

Sharpay's reprimand seemed to knock Ryan out of his state of disbelief.

"Sharpay, regardless of what you may think, I am completely capable of "wooing" Kelsi on my own. I don't need any help. Besides, I don't think she's ready to be...._wooed_...just yet. She needs some space...and time. I think it's best if I start out slowly, as her friend. And then after a certain amount of time has surpassed...then I move to the woo...ing." Ryan stated, quite happy with his explanation. He had spent a good amount of the night contemplating how best to go about winning Kelsi's heart...romantically and friendship wise.

Sharpay just stared at her brother with a look that seemed to convey "have you lost your mind?"

"First of all Ryan...you will cease to use the word "_woo_". And I don't think I even need to explain why that is. Secondly...I somewhat agree with you." Sharpay revealed, her surprise over this fact matching Ryan's.

"Really?" Ryan asked, not quite believing what he was hearing.

"Yes, I really do. I agree with the whole "friendship" part. Kelsi isn't about to jump at the chance to start a romantic relationship with you Ryan...you broke her heart. I still can't believe you chose Amanda." Sharpay said, wincing when she noticed the duel looks of regret and sorrow stamped upon Ryan's features. "I'm sorry. That was too blunt. Sometimes I forget to filter what I say before it comes out of my mouth. I didn't mean to hurt you Ryan." Sharpay said apologetically, wrapping her arms tightly around her brother in a comforting hug.

Ryan returned the hug for a moment before pulling back and focusing on his sister. His bright blue eyes met her chocolate brown ones.

"No, it's okay. You're right...everything you said is true. Harsh...but true. And I know eventually, Kelsi and I are going to have to confront the past. It's the only way we can ever possibly build a future." Ryan said, a look of understanding gracing his features.

Sharpay met her brother's gaze searchingly. "You really care about her don't you?"

"I haven't yet figured out everything going on in my head and heart. But I know I need her...I need her in my life Shar. And I'll understand if she isn't able to give me more than friendship. Hell, I wouldn't blame her if that's _all_ she's able to give me. But I'll take anything...anything she's willing to pass my way I will gratefully accept." Ryan said, the truth evident in his expression.

In that moment Sharpay knew she was doing the right thing. A man didn't make a statement like that, unless he loved the woman he was talking about. Sharpay wrapped her brother in another tight hug, before untangling herself and walking towards the suite's door.

Ryan watched Sharpay's retreating figure in confusion. Where was she going? She had just got here. Dear Lord, if this was how his day was starting...who knew how it was going to end up.

"Um...Shar, where are you going?" Ryan asked, stating his thoughts aloud.

Sharpay stopped instantly and turned around. A radiant smile on her pink lips. She carelessly flipped a long strand of blond hair behind her shoulder.

"I'm going to get my own suite Ry. You are my twin and I love you...but, I can't share this small of a space with you." Sharpay said by way of explanation, completely oblivious to the fact that Ryan's "small space" was the size of most three bedroom apartments. "You look exhausted, why don't you go back to sleep and I'll call on you later..okay? Toodles!" And with that abrupt farewell, Sharpay sailed out of Ryan's suite as rapidly as she had entered.

Ryan stood looking at his shut door, baffled. Sharpay was here...in Chicago. And she had come to help him woo-....no scratch that _win_ Kelsi back. Ryan let his instantly tired feet carry him back into his bedroom. He flopped down on the bed dramatically as he stared at the ceiling. He hadn't thought it possible...but life had just gotten _way_ more complicated.

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Kelsi was amazed at how catchy the score to "Mary Poppins" was. She was actually finding it a joy to loose herself in the music. Which was saying something, because she had been so excited at the prospect of working on "Wicked." Kelsi was familiar with the movie "Mary Poppins" and had loved it as a child, so she was surprised to find so many differences in the musical. All of the songs from the movie were present and the theme was the same. But certain aspects of the layout where quite different. Kelsi could just sense that this musical was going to be magical...and very popular in Chicago. She would have to find a way to make sure Lauren and Matthew saw the show. And as much as Kelsi tried to not let her mind wander towards Ryan...the task seemed impossible. After all, she was playing the songs he would soon be singing. And he was perfect for the male lead. The part of Bert seemed to be catered to him. Kelsi could practically picture Ryan prancing around the stage, singing with a cockney accent and goofing around with the children cast as Jane and Micheal Banks. Ryan was going to be extraordinary. A smile drifted across Kelsi's lips as the thought provided pictures for her mind. She imagined Ryan dancing on the stage...taking up the whole space in the that special way he was prone to do. She pictured his hands linked with two children, as their laughter filled the space of the theater. And in her mind, those children were exact replicas of Lauren and Matthew. She saw them as clear as day....spending time together...all four of them. Soon the theater turned into the park, and the zoo, and the beach. A slow tear seemed to drop effortlessly down Kelsi's cheek as the pictures took on a life and reality of their own. The realization that Kelsi wanted those daydreams to be real was slow coming, but natural at the same time. She wanted more than anything to share all aspects of her life with Ryan. And Lauren and Matthew....her little loves, were two of the best gifts she could share with him. Kelsi purposefully wiped the single tear off her face, and worked to bring her focus back to the task at hand....learning the music. She may want Ryan to be a part of her life. It was so easy to get lost in the million tiny moments that her mind seemed so ready to create. But she couldn't. Because it was all a dream. The reality of the situation was, Ryan was back, there was indubitable tension between them, they were working together and then he would leave. And that last little dose of reality was what kept Kelsi centered...because he would leave. He had a whole life back in New York, a home, career, friends. And Kelsi's life...it was here, in Chicago. That was the choice she had made, and she was sticking to it.

Kelsi's thoughts were interrupted by the faint ring of her phone. After waking up to flashing blue lights and constant beeping, Kelsi had turned the ringer down on her phone. Deciding she needed a break from work, Kelsi reached for the phone, pausing slightly when she saw Gabby's name lit up. Was she ready to relive last night again? Probably not, but it would be better to talk about it to a living person than to just wallow in it on her own...which was what she had been doing.

"Hey Gabby." Kelsi said in greeting, hoping her voice sounded relatively normal.

A worried smile crossed Gabby's features, as she recognized the sadness and fear in her friend's voice.

"Hi Kelsi...so, it sounds like you had an interesting day yesterday?" Gabby stated, getting right to the point.

"I take it you spoke to Martha?" Kelsi said, already knowing the answer to the question.

"Yeah, she called last night after she got off the phone with you. She was worried...we all are." Gabby carefully added.

Kelsi left the piano bench to sit on her bed, feeling the comfort of cushioning pillows and her familiar blanket surrounding her.

"I'm okay Gabby. Or I _will_ be okay. It was odd, tense and awkward...but hey, it can't get any worse right?" Kelsi asked, not aware of the slightly pleading note to her voice.

Gabby felt her heart ache for the turmoil her friend must be going through.

"Things have a way of working themselves out just the way they are supposed to...does that make sense?" Gabby supplied, not sure if she was giving out comforting advice.

Kelsi burrowed deeper into her covers, seeking the extra source of physical comfort.

"I think so. It's your in depth way of saying hang in there, everything will be alright." Kelsi said, taking a moment to take off her glasses and rub a hand against her exhausted blue eyes.

Gabby smiled to herself, her gaze catching a photo of herself and Troy. She felt an almost overwhelming gratitude take over her body as she studied the way Troy looked at her in the picture...with so much love.

"Everything _will_ be alright Kelsi...I just...know it." Gabby said, certainty entering her expression as she continued to study Troy's smiling face. There was something about the look he was giving her. It was so familiar. And not just in accordance to herself, Troy always looked at her like that. Someone else also wore that look...she had seen it before. Ryan! He had looked at Kelsi that same way. Probably before either of them had been able to fully vocalize or recognize that feelings other than friendship were present. Gabby couldn't fully explain or comprehend why...but she knew that Ryan loved Kelsi. She just _knew_. Gabby was pulled out of her inner reflection by Kelsi's response.

"Well, I wish I shared your confidence." Kelsi said quietly.

Gabby knew she had to do or say something to get the ball moving in the right direction...she just didn't know _what_ that was.

"Will you do me a favor Kelsi?" Gabby asked, trying to keep the calm still in her voice.

"Sure." Kelsi answered, her blanket somewhat muffling her voice.

"Be his friend." Gabby stated simply.

"Okaaaaaay?" Kelsi said, wondering where this was coming from.

"Just trust me on this Kelsi...try, try hard to be his friend. I think you'll find this benefits both of you in the long run." Gabby said confidently.

Kelsi thought about what Gabby said for a moment. She and Ryan had already agreed on a truce. Even though that said truce was somewhat tentative after last night's debacle. Could she be his friend? And not just someone who is more of an acquaintance, but a real and genuine _friend_? Kelsi let her mind wander to her earlier daydream which featured Lauren, Matthew and Ryan. She missed him. No doubt about it...she missed him so much. And it was because of this fact that Kelsi recognized she was willing to try.

"I'll try Gabby. I promise, I will try." Kelsi stated honestly, meaning behind the simple declaration.

As soon as Kelsi spoke the words aloud, a knock resonated through her whole apartment.

"Hey Gabby, I'll call you back. Someone is at the door." Kelsi said by way of explanation. Hanging up shortly after she heard Gabby offer a sweet farewell.

Kelsi felt the instant cold draft, the moment she escaped the confines of her warm bed. Taking a moment to replace her glasses, Kelsi's bare feet slapped lightly on the hard wood floors. She was still dressed in her pajamas, her hair a curling mess when she opened the door. Kelsi instantly jumped back when she saw who was awaiting her arrival. Dressed in immaculate couture...all pink of course, was Sharpay Evans.

"Oh shit." Kelsi said under her breath, instantly slapping her hand over her mouth the moment the curse word escaped.

_**Oh dear!**_


	10. Chapter 10

_**Hi all...thank you so much for reading...and reviewing. I love to hear your thoughts and I always try to listen to possible suggestions. Wishing you all a lovely week! Love, Jen**_

Kelsi stood in the doorway to her small apartment, looking at Sharpay with something akin to shock, her small narrow hand still covering her mouth where the curse word had just escaped. She couldn't believe she had just sworn...she never cursed...EVER! And now, in the last two days she had sworn twice..._twice_. Dear Lord, what was happening to her. Kelsi worked to shake off her surprising vocabulary, instead choosing to focus on the woman who had just strutted into her apartment. The word "strut" being the operative term. What was Sharpay doing here...in Chicago and in her apartment? This couldn't be good. In fact this had to be the exact opposite of good, this had "bad" written all over it.

Sharpay watched with a mixture of humor and impatience as Kelsi struggled to control her emotions. The smaller woman really was pretty apparent, every emotion that flashed in her mind immediately made itself known through her expressions. Sharpay never would have thought Kelsi would be the type of woman her brother would fall for. She always pictured him with someone who was....more like her. But as she watched the young composer struggle to center herself, she recognized that Kelsi was the perfect match for her brother. Probably in the same way that Zeke was perfect for her. Kelsi had the ability to get through to Ryan when no one else could. Well, at least she used to have that ability...back when they were friends. Sharpay literally shook off her thoughts, she wasn't here to ponder the "what if scenarios", she was here to get some results.

"Well, that wasn't exactly the greeting I had in mind, but it'll work." Sharpay stated, referring back to Kelsi's previous comment.

Kelsi's big blue eyes looked like they were ready to pop right through the glass of her glasses.

"S-sorry about that. Um...I'm j-just a little surprised really about w-why you're here...right now...in my apartment...this _early_?" Kelsi said, her complexion turning multiple shades of red with each passing word. My God, could she sound any less coherent. What was wrong with her? The Evans twins come to Chicago, and all of the sudden she is robbed of her rational mind. Kelsi started to take deep breaths, hoping to work up some calming forces.

Sharpay looked at Kelsi with alarm...why was she suddenly breathing so hard? She looked like she was trying to blow up a kiddie pool or something. This was_ so_ not going the way she imagined.

"Kelsi! Calm down, you're going to pass out if you keep taking in those gulping breaths!" Sharpay ordered sharply, lightening the stern tone of her voice by taking Kelsi's hand and leading her towards the sofa in the middle of the room.

Kelsi immediately stopped the huge gusts of breath she had been inhaling. She was completely bowled over by the gentleness of Sharpay's actions. As she sat on the sofa, she felt Sharpay's nicely manicured hand softly rubbing her back in soothing circles. Who was this woman and what had she done with the _real_ Sharpay? It was true that by the time all of them had graduated college, Sharpay had softened some, but Kelsi never would have imagined Sharpay to be a nurturer. Kelsi kept sneaking glances at Sharpay as she sat by her side. Trying not to be too obvious about the course of her thoughts.

Sharpay was trying to stifle her annoyance. Kelsi kept looking at her like she had suddenly grown a horse's head. Here she was trying to be nice...sweet even, and in return she was getting the weirdest looks from Kelsi. Sharpay finally couldn't take it anymore.

"What? Why do you keep looking at me like that?" Sharpay asked briskly.

"You're being...nice...to me." Kelsi said, a hint of pink coloring her expression with the admission.

"Well, yeah, I can be nice...sometimes, when it's warranted." Sharpay responded, still rubbing Kelsi's back reassuringly.

"Yes, you can, but usually there is something in it for you. Something you can gain. Right now...you're just doing it to...do it. You're just..._nice_." Kelsi said, her mouth hanging open in continued shock.

Sharpay couldn't help but smile. True, this wasn't how she had pictured her meeting with Kelsi, but that was okay. She couldn't help but enjoy the petite woman's disbelief. It was almost...endearing.

"Kelsi, contrary to what you may believe, I like you." Sharpay stated simply.

Kelsi just stared...and stared...more starring. Surely she had heard Sharpay wrong. There was no way Sharpay Evans had just claimed to like her.

"I'm sorry? What did you say?" Kelsi asked, her brow furrowed in concentration.

"I like you Kelsi. I really do." Sharpay repeated.

"_Why_?" Kelsi asked, surprise dripping from the one-word question.

"Because you are sweet, nice, talented, genuine, loyal and my brother's crazy about you." Sharpay supplied honestly.

Kelsi was so taken aback by the first couple compliments, it took her a moment to fully comprehend Sharpay's final comment. And when she did, she realized exactly why Sharpay was here.

"Ah, now I understand." Kelsi said, quickly standing up. "You're here for your brother."

Sharpay could tell that her final comment had a sort of cooling effect on the Kelsi.

"Kelsi, I meant everything I said before." Sharpay started.

Kelsi practically cut off Sharpay's response, so rapid was her question.

"Are you here for your brother Sharpay?" Kelsi asked, her voice hardening a bit.

Sharpay was shocked, she had never seen this side of Kelsi's personality before. She honestly, didn't think the little woman had it in her. Sharpay couldn't seem to help the reluctant grin that passed upon her lips.

"Yes Kelsi, I am here for Ryan." Sharpay said honestly.

"Leav-" Kelsi started, only to be instantly interrupted by Sharpay.

"_But_, I am also here for you." Sharpay said with a pleased smirk.

Kelsi felt her mouth hang open dramatically, wishing she could close it, but knowing she didn't seem to have control at the moment. She shook her head lightly, trying to understand exactly what Sharpay was saying.

"_Me_? You're here for...me? _Why_?" Kelsi asked, not even aware of the nervous tapping of her right foot.

Sharpay got right to the point, standing up, she moved to face Kelsi. "Because it is so brutally obvious you and my brother need some sort of help. You both are incapable of handling this whole situation like adults. I mean look at you two. Both of you are scared, confused and nervous...neither of you are able to look at this whole reunion rationally."

"What do you mean?" Kelsi asked softly. Sharpay's words were starting to have a ring of truth to them. Kelsi willed herself to listen as Sharpay went about her explanation.

"You two are like a couple of yo-yo's. First you are going to try to be friends, then you're not, then you want space, then you want to be friends again. Seriously, I am surprised you both don't have a case of painful whip-lash. Why can't you both just sit down and talk about the past...like adults?" Kelsi started to try to interject, but Sharpay wasn't about to give her the chance...she wasn't finished yet. "I get that talking will be painful and hard. But neither of you are going to be able to move forward until you do. And I don't just mean forward with each other...I mean _at all_. And I get that being forced to relive that night is going to be painful. And I also understand that there are things that you probably think you are better off not knowing about...Amanda for one. Well, let's be honest, that's pretty much the main one. I just really think-"

"You're right." Kelsi interjected quietly.

Sharpay had to literally stop herself...man, she had been on a role. She loved it when she got going like that. She knew Kelsi had just said something, but she had been too wrapped up in her helpful tirade to hear what it was.

"Pardon?" Sharpay asked.

"You're right." Kelsi repeated, adding a bit more strength to her voice.

Sharpay quirked her head to one side, making sure she had heard correctly. She was pretty sure Kelsi had just said she was right. She was a tad bit surprised, she knew she was persuasive, but she had been expecting a bit more on the convincing side of things.

"You did just say I was right..._right_?" Sharpay asked, making sure they were on the same page.

Kelsi couldn't help but smile.

"I did. I do agree with you Sharpay. I am not proud of all of my actions yesterday. But in my defense, seeing your brother again, it was a pretty big shock." Kelsi said.

"I can imagine." Sharpay said dryly.

"That said, I should have handled things differently. There were definitely a few times when I majorly overreacted.. Kelsi shared, once again moving to sit down on the sofa.

"Don't feel too bad about that, so did he...trust me." Sharpay said dramatically, while she joined Kelsi on the sofa.

Kelsi shared a conspiratorial smile with the blond haired woman.

"But you're right about the whole "not moving on" part. I haven't been able to move forward, because I have been too caught up in the past. And that was an issue for me even _before_ Ryan got here. Even if I did do a pretty great job of ignoring it. I know talking to Ryan will be painful and there will be some sections I would rather pass over...Amanda for example. But, we need to deal with this. And not only because we are doing a show together." Kelsi said, switching her gaze to her small hands.

"What other reason is there?" Sharpay asked softly.

Kelsi took a deep breath before answering.

"I miss him Sharpay. I have missed my best friend so much it hurts sometimes." Kelsi shifted her gaze to look at Sharpay. She saw comfort and understanding in the blond haired woman's deep brown eyes.

"He misses you too Kelsi."

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Kelsi closed the door to her apartment softly. Looking at her wall clock, Kelsi was amazed at how long Sharpay had stayed over to talk in her tiny apartment. After they had rehashed the whole Ryan situation, Sharpay and Kelsi had spoken of Zeke, the theater, what Sharpay was doing in New York...pretty much everything. And the kicker was, it was enjoyable. Kelsi had actually _liked_ sharing the morning and part of the afternoon with Sharpay. And in all honesty, she was grateful to the pink-loving beauty queen. Because of Sharpay's interference, Kelsi had realized at a much more rapid pace how necessary it was for her to speak to Ryan. Kelsi was confidant she would have come to the same conclusion on her own...at some point. But she was glad, relieved even, to be able to deal with the issue sooner rather than later. She had no expectations pertaining to Ryan. While she would love to eventually be friends...real friends, she didn't hold any illusions about anything other than friendship in their future. In all honesty, she couldn't really think beyond that at the moment. This was one relationship that needed to move at a slower pace. Kelsi's own well-being depended on that.

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Sharpay couldn't believe how easy it had been. She had been expecting a morning and afternoon in which she would be convincing Kelsi all of the positives that would come out of talking with Ryan. She had been amazed when Kelsi readily agreed with her arguments so early on. Truth be told, Sharpay was even a little disappointed. She had been looking forward to giving grand speech after grand speech. It was good though, no, scratch that...perfect that Kelsi saw the truth to Sharpay's words so quickly. That had been a very telling move on Kelsi's part. Not only was she ready to talk to Ryan, she may even possibly be ready to forgive him. Sharpay thought on that for a moment. As she let her mind drift away, she took a moment to study her surroundings. She had been so caught up in her reason for being in Chicago, she hadn't given herself the time to really appreciate the city. And it was beautiful. There was definitely a reason they called it the "second city." It was not as big as New York, but it was just as special and magical. Sharpay had loved the taxi ride down Lake Shore Drive. The winding road had seemed like a mini race track, with people from various walks of life hurrying to get from one place to the next. The beach to the east of the city was lovely. It looked like a winter wonderland this time of year, with ice crested waves crashing into the snow covered banks. Sharpay imagined in the summer it would be filled with sunbathers, volleyball players and people walking, running or riding their bikes on the track bordering the beach. As Sharpay presently walked down Michigan Avenue, she was struck by the fancy shops...they had every designer imaginable. Sharpay had to force herself not to walk into Chanel, they had the most gorgeous pink scarf in the window. "No," Sharpay told herself, "I need to get back to the hotel to check on Ryan." She imagined her twin had already begun to wonder where she was. She had been at Kelsi's longer than she planned. Whereas, she wasn't expecting their talk to go quite so quickly, she also hadn't expected to stay visiting for so long of a time. Checking her phone, Sharpay blanched at the time. Oh God, Ryan was definitely wondering where she was by now. Sharpay's pink high heels clicked on the pavement, as she ran towards her waiting hotel.

Ryan was pacing the length of the hotel lobby when Sharpay's pink clad figure graced the entrance. He had gone up to her room an hour ago to see if she wanted to get lunch. He was beyond surprised to find her unaccounted for. He had no idea where she would go, it's not like she knew anyone in Chicago. Well, except for Kelsi. That's when realization had hit. He knew exactly where his sister had gone. Panic had seemed to overwhelm him when he couldn't reach her by phone. God only knew what she was saying or _doing_ to Kelsi. He found himself haunted by visions of the smaller girl huddled in a corner crying, while Sharpay unleashed her fury. Not that he could understand what Sharpay had to base her fury on. But it wasn't like she needed a reason or excuse. If Sharpay felt like telling someone off, she was going to tell them off, end of story. Ryan continued to let his imagination get the best of him for the hour he had awaited her return. When he couldn't take it anymore he had moved to the lobby. Not only did it give him more room to pace, it also gave him immediate access to his sister the moment she walked through the doors.

Sharpay felt like some kind of fugitive upon her entrance into the hotel lobby. She was just starting to defrost from the bitter cold outside, when her brother came flying at her, demanding she tell him everything she had done that afternoon.

"Sharpay, where the hell have you been?" Ryan said quietly, anger present in every aspect of his voice and tense body.

"Hello to you to Ryan. I was out and about, you know, doing the usual, window shopping, catching some sights." Sharpay said, not completely lying, but not telling the whole truth either.

Ryan was having none of his sister's excuses.

"Cut the crap Sharpay. You went to see Kelsi, didn't you?" Ryan said, unaware of the way his voice had started to rise.

Sharpay roughly grabbed her brother's arm and started hauling him off towards the elevators.

"For God's sake Ryan, do you need to share our business with the whole hotel. Let's go up to my suite, I'll tell you everything then...._okay_?" Sharpay asked, her own voice lowering to what Ryan knew was a dangerous level.

"Fine, but I want to know _everything_." Ryan said, yanking his arm out of his sister's grasp and following her on to the waiting elevator.

"Didn't I just say that...in those exact words even? Sharpay questioned, giving her twin an exasperating look. "Just try to be patient a bit longer okay?"

Sharpay understood why her brother was angry. She would be furious if their roles were reversed and he had decided to talk to Zeke. That said, her brother was _definitely _overreacting. And people said she was dramatic!

Ryan stayed silent for the entire elevator ride. He knew Sharpay had meant well, but he really wished she would stop sticking her powdered nose in his business. He was a grown man, he could handle his relationships without any help, thank you very much. Not that he and Kelsi were exactly in a relationship, or anything that even slightly resembled one, but it was the principle. The elevator doors opened, and Ryan wordlessly followed his sister into her suite.

Sharpay waited until the doors to her suite were securely closed before turning in a twirl of pink winter garb to face her fuming brother.

"Now you may ask me your questions." She invited, figuring that was the easiest way to get down to business.

Ryan wasted no time with niceties.

"Did you go to Kelsi's?" Ryan asked, already knowing the answer, but hoping Sharpay would prove him wrong.

"Affirmative. Next question." Sharpay supplied, sitting with a huff onto the upholstered sofa.

"Why, w-why would you go to see her? What would ever propel you to do such a thing? I mean, you don't even _like_ her?" Ryan's voice rambled, as he resumed his earlier pacing.

"Why does everyone assume I don't like Kelsi? I _like_ her. She's fine, great, _peachy...._I actually like her more after speaking with her today than I did yesterday." Sharpay said, sounding quite pleased with herself.

Ryan stopped pacing abruptly and just starred at his sister in disbelief. Who was this woman and what had she done with his sister?

"So...does this mean your talk with Kelsi went _well_?" Ryan asked apprehensively, while an internal ramble went off in his head chorusing "please say yes, please say yes..."

Sharpay stood up and playfully patted both of her brother's cheeks, before moving over to the min-fridge tucked in the corner of the suite's bar. She started shuffling through the contents, looking for something that resembled a sweet...God, she missed Zeke's baking. Finding a spare chocolate bar, Sharpay drew her focus back to the conversation at hand.

"Our conversation went amazingly well Ry. Even better than I could have expected." Sharpay shared, taking a dainty test bite of the chocolate before going all out with a huge bite. "God, this is really good." Sharpay said, holding up her candy in explanation.

"Sharpay, can you direct your focus from the chocolate and back to me for a few more seconds please?" Ryan received his sister's waving hand gesture, which he understood to be sign language for yes. "Great...So, what happened? What did she say? Did she mention me?"

Sharpay almost choked on her candy bar on Ryan's last question. For drama's sake, sometimes guys could be completely and utterly clueless.

"Of course we spoke about you Ryan, why else would have I gone over there." Ryan started to try to interject, but Sharpay silenced him with a wave of her candy bar. "Just let me finish. This is sure to go much quicker if you just let me talk. So, I went over there and shocked the life out of your favorite little person. She actually swore Ryan! Can you believe it? It was pretty humorous really."

"Sharpay focus!" Ryan stated, before quickly adding, "she really swore?"

"Yeah, I know right?" Sharpay said with a laugh, before finishing up her candy bar. "So, after she got over her shock, she kind of hemmed and hawed over what I was doing there. She figured out I was there for you."

"Oh God, that's great." Ryan interjected sarcastically.

"_Ryan_! Will you let me finish. Sometimes you are impossible. Any who, where was I? Oh right. So, I informed her that I in fact wasn't just there for you, I was there for her as well."

Ryan's eyes looked ready to bug out of his head, he was looking at his sister in shock.

"You said something nice to her?" Ryan said, disbelief lacing his tone.

"Yes, I can be nice you know. Why is this so hard for everyone to believe." Sharpay dramatically paused before once again continuing. "Moving on...I told her how you two should be friends again, that you had a lot that needed to be cleared up, that it may be painful, but it was worth it, and that neither of you would be able to move forward in your lives until you spoke and cleared the air...yadda, yadda, yadda...you get the drift. Oh, and then she gave me some green tea. I decided to try it, you know to be polite. It tasted like cat pee. Not that I have ever tasted cat pee. But it tasted how I would assume cat pee would taste." Sharpay finished with an overly sweet smile.

Ryan stood frozen, looking at his sister, a stunned look across his features.

"Wow Shar, that was actually...good and sound advice. Except for the whole cat pee part, that was just gross." Ryan said, moving to stand next to his sister, leaning forward on the bar so that his elbows rested on the granite surface.

"I have been known to impart a wise word every now and then." Sharpay supplied, leaning over to give Ryan a peck on the cheek.

"So, should I be afraid to ask what Kelsi said?" Ryan asked tentatively.

Sharpay looked into her brother's blue eyes. She saw the fear there and the hesitation. Even if he wasn't able to realize it yet, Sharpay knew her brother was either close to being in love with Kelsi or already there. The thought warmed her heart. It was about time her brother found a partner who could appreciate all of the wonderful qualities he had to offer.

"She's willing to give you a chance Ry. She's willing to attempt to be your friend. And not just a tentative friend that you make truce's with, a _real_ friend...like you were before."

It felt like a huge balloon of hope filled Ryan's body with each passing word out of Sharpay's mouth. _Friendship_...with Kelsi. That was more than he could have ever even conceived of hoping for.


	11. Chapter 11

_**So, we are on the road to friendship...that sounds promising to me. As always, thank you so much for reading and reviewing. I really appreciate the continued support. I hope you all are having a great weekend. Love, Jen**_

Monday rolled around faster than Kelsi was expecting...or ready for. Kelsi found her body moving to an almost sluggish pace as she struggled to go about her usual morning routine. The weather didn't help any, February in Chicago was known to be one of the most bitter winter months of the season. And even though it was the shortest month, it always seemed to last double the length of June or July. As Kelsi pulled a warm woolen sweater over her head, her gaze fell upon a picture of Lauren, Matthew and herself. It was a picture from a past summer zoo trip. There were three pairs of matching grins, joy apparent on all of their faces. Without any thought, Kelsi's unadorned finger traced the line of Lauren's cheek in the photograph. Who could have known they would have come to mean so much to her? Lord knows, she was surprised. While it was true she loved her job, it definitely tired her out. Kelsi had discovered through trial and error that being a nanny was a lot like being a parent...just for designated hours of the day. There were no real moments of rest, or times a person could just shut off their mind for a while. As a nanny, Kelsi was _on_ constantly. Matthew and Lauren's wellbeing and happiness depended upon her...for those hours she was in charge. She took her job and the children very seriously. When Kelsi was with the kids, her attention was on them.

When she had decided to become a nanny, Kelsi had no idea not only of the time commitment she would be taking on, but also the commitment of the heart. Being a nanny was a personal job. There is that old adage, "It's not personal, it's business." Well, that quote did not pertain to the nannyhood at all. It was the exact opposite really. There was no business with being a nanny, on the contrary, it is all _personal_. From the beginning it had been inevitable...Kelsi was going to fall in love with Lauren and Matthew. And fall in love she did. And while love of any kind is a good thing, it can also be quite complicated. The idea of ever leaving the children she had come to love was mind numbing. But Kelsi also had dreams...dreams of composing, of playing on Broadway. And those dreams would be hard to accomplish while continuing to nanny for two kids who lived in Chicago. Whenever those thoughts popped into her head, Kelsi did her best to squish them before they even had time to hatch. She couldn't concentrate on that right now, the possibility of someday leaving. There was already too much on her plate as it was. And most importantly, she was happy. Could a person be happy throughout life even if they decide not to pursue all of their dreams? And could dreams change? These were all valid questions that swirled around in Kelsi's head like a dust storm. Whenever these thoughts barreled into her mind, Kelsi always saw a familiar face just waiting to appear in the back of her thoughts. He was always back there...in the far recesses of her mind, just where she had placed him years ago. His blond hair would always gain in brightness as his face and aura became clearer, his eyes sky blue and penetrating, as the familiar waves would hit her mind...and her heart.

And now he was here...physically. He was in her town and back in her life. He was challenging the questions that plagued her mind on a close to daily basis. She had had dreams including him before...so many dreams. Some less realistic than others. She had made the choice to let those dreams go...to give up on them, and through doing so, give up on him too. But now she was coming to recognize, those dreams may not have left her heart and mind after all. They had just been lost for a while. Almost as if Kelsi had mentally put them in a box and hid them under her bed. But they were still there. It was like they had been waiting for the moment, for that exact place in time when they could make themselves known again. And boy, had they. The moment Kelsi had seen him again, she had been doused by dream after dream and memory after memory. All revolving around him..._Ryan_, and her feelings concerning him. Kelsi thought back to the day before and Sharpay's unexpected visit. A whimsical smile drifted across her face, as she allowed her memory to recap the previous day's events. She had made a promise yesterday, and not only to Sharpay, but to herself as well. She has made a personal promise that she would try to be friends with him. Ryan was back and she wasn't going to be able to ignore his existence anymore.

With that thought firmly in her mind, Kelsi put on the last of her winter gear, locked up her apartment and started walking towards the train platform. As she made her way carefully down the icy sidewalks, she recognized the importance of the upcoming talk she was going to have with Ryan. It would be a difficult conversation, no doubt about it. But she was ready. As Kelsi realized the truth behind this internal statement, a spontaneous smile lit up her features. She was ready! Kelsi had not thought it possible, but she was going to confront issues from the past and she was going to fight. And not fight with Ryan, but _for_ Ryan. She had missed his friendship so much. And somehow, the fates had brought him back into her life. They were being given another chance and she was going to take it...tentatively. Because to be honest, Kelsi wasn't going to be able to jump right into this new friendship. This was definitely a situation where she was going to have to dip her metaphorical toe in the water before she took any leaps.

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Kelsi felt the usual excitement enter her body as she headed up the steps leading to her work. Whenever she was about to see the kids, it was like a bunch of small balloons filled up inside her, until she felt ready to burst with exuberance. Her steady walk upstairs turned into sprinting leaps as she neared the door. Using her key, she entered the spacious two-flat.

"Hi guys." Kelsi called, a musical greeting to her voice.

And then came the usual response....the pitter patter of what sounded like 100 feet scampering up above, what resembled human hurricanes tumbling down the stairs and then...the verbal greeting.

"KELSI!" Matthew and Lauren chorused in perfect sync.

Four tiny arms wrapped around Kelsi's middle as she embraced the two kids who owned such a huge section of her heart.

Sarah walked down the stairs at a slower pace, and gave a gentle smile, before picking up her various bags.

"I've got to run, there are some new babies at the hospital. Have a great day guys." Sarah said, giving out hugs and kisses as she walked towards the door. "Oh Kelsi, the sleds are in the garage. Lauren mentioned you guys were going to be hitting the slopes today after school." Sarah spared the winter wonderland outside a rapid glance. "It certainly looks like mother nature is agreeing with your plans. Have fun guys and I'll see you around dinner time. Love you!" And with that, Sarah was out the door and heading for her car.

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Sharpay couldn't believe Ryan was actually second guessing himself. Well, correction, she could believe it, she just didn't have the patience for it at the present moment.

"Ryan, you have been invited to go sledding with Kelsi and the kids today and you are actually...seriously thinking about not going?" Sharpay accused, flipping a blond wave over her shoulder in frustration.

Ryan could not only sense the disapproval in Sharpay's voice, he could see it in her deep brown eyes. They seemed to be boring into his soul saying "What is wrong with you?"

"Sharpay, Kelsi did not invite me. Lauren invited me." Ryan corrected, defending himself to no avail. "You don't know Lauren, but let me tell you a little something about her...she's petite, with red hair, sparkling green eyes." Ryan paused dramatically, enjoying the aghast look currently on his sister's face. "And she's five Shar...FIVE...as in years old. I don't think an invitation from a five year old counts as a valid invite." Ryan finished, feeling quite confidant in his explanation. True, he wanted to see Kelsi again, in fact he was pretty impatient to do so, but he didn't want to make the wrong move now. Not when he was finally somewhat close to reconnecting with her. Ryan had an eerie premonition that Kelsi would be caught very off guard if he was to suddenly show up at the sledding hill. And come on, when was the last time he had gone sledding..._never_, he had never gone sledding. The idea of sitting in the wet snow and going rapidly downhill on a tiny plastic contraption sounded ludicrous to him.

Sharpay was not about to be outargued.

"Ryan Evans, an invite is an invite. I don't care if you were asked to go sledding by an infant, Kelsi is going to be there, and therefore, so should you. Come on Ryan, think about it, you could show her your hot moves on a sled." Sharpay paused meaningfully, as a knowing smirk escaped her lips. "God, I would seriously consider paying good money to see you on a sled...priceless!"

Ryan gave his sister a deadpan look, he was not at all amused. Sharpay had hit too close to the truth. True, he was nervous about messing things up and moving too fast, but he was even more worried about his sledding skills. He may be a world class dancer, but there was no real way to control a sled.

"I am not really liking you right now." Ryan said, a semi-serious tone to his voice while he stared at his twin.

Sharpay walked over to the closet and pulled out some of Ryan's winter gear.

"You don't have to like me to love me sweetheart...and you do love me." Sharpay said, giving her brother a kiss on the cheek, before continuing. "Now, put this on." Sharpay ordered, holding out Ryan's coat.

Ryan begrudgingly put on his warm clothes while Sharpay handed them one by one to him.

"Fine, I'll go...but I am not going down any hills." Ryan said, giving his sister a quick parting kiss before walking out the door.

"I wouldn't bet on that." Sharpay said softly under her breath, hoping Kelsi had some sort of premonition that would inspire her to bring a camera.

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Kelsi, Lauren and Matthew walked carefully towards the sledding hill. Kelsi kept having to lift Matthew out of the thick and high snow. His little legs couldn't seem to step through the heavy mass without either getting stuck or sending him sprawling to the ground in a natural snow angel formation. Kelsi tried to stifle her giggles, as she watched Matthew work so hard to make it through the frozen wonderland. Lauren was attempting to run through the stiff white stuff, resembling someone who was trying to run through water. The kids seemed oblivious to the comedic display of their efforts, they were too focused on the gigantic hill that took up a good portion of Lauren's school yard. Sledding had to be one of Kelsi's favorite winter time activities. And lucky for her, the kids adored it too. Especially Matthew...the little guy loved anything that inspired movement. Kelsi carried the two plastic sleds in her left hand as she struggled to hold on to Matthew's mitten covered hand in her right. The silver sleds, aptly named "the silver bullets" due to their speed, banged into each other softly with each step she took. By the time they actually reached the hill, Kelsi felt sweat trickling down her forehead. She was actually overheated from the exertion of balancing a child and two fumbling sleds.

"Alright...who's ready to hit the slopes?" Kelsi asked, loving the huge smiles that adorned both Matthew and Lauren's faces.

"Me!" Lauren yelled, her sweet voice filling the snow-covered park.

"ME!" Matthew screamed, attempting to beat out his sister in regards to volume.

Lauren spared Matthew a humorous look before walking over to Kelsi and claiming her sled. She loved the feeling the filled her limber body the moment she was racing down the hill. It was as if she left her tummy back at the peak and it was barreling after her trying to keep up with her racing sled. A lot of her friends didn't like the cold or the speed sledding induced, but Lauren relished it. She had been so excited all day for Kelsi and Matthew to pick her up. The sledding hill looked pretty empty also, which was Lauren's favorite. She liked it the best when it was just Kelsi, Matthew and herself, sliding down the long hill...it felt like they were the owners of their own private winter wonderland.

"I'm gonna go first...will you watch me Kels Bells?" Lauren asked, already trudging her way up the hill.

Matthew interjected before Kelsi could even get out a response.

"Lo...wait. I'm coming too. I want to go too. Don't go first." Matthew rushed up the hill after his sister, surprising Kelsi with his seemingly simple agility. He definitely had a more competitive streak when compared to Lauren. He did not want to be left out of anything.

Lauren smiled down at her brother, ever the peacemaker.

"We can both go Matty, don't worry." Lauren said, giving her brother a reassuring smile.

Kelsi felt her heart fill as she witnessed Lauren's pink mitten covered hand grab her brother's smaller blue one. Together the two worked their way up the hill. Kelsi hurried after them, making an effort not to slide right back down the hill. It was a tad humiliating that a five and three year old were more graceful than her.

"Wait for me guys...I don't want to miss the ride down."

Lauren patiently halted, holding her brother's hand securely, as she waited for Kelsi to join them. Lauren didn't even try to hold back her giggle as she watched her nanny slip up the hill a few times. Kelsi had to be one of the clumsiest people she knew.

"Kelsi, do you need to hold my hand? I'll make sure you stop falling...up the hill." Lauren supplied sweetly, holding her hand out for Kelsi to grasp.

"I think it's better if I do this on my own Lady Bug. I think I will be more of a hindrance to you than a help." Kelsi said, as she used her hands to catch herself as she once again slipped.

"What's hindrance?" Lauren asked smartly.

Kelsi was having a bit of difficulty balancing the act of making her way up hill and carrying a conversation.

"It basically means I would probably make you fall too." Kelsi supplied, grunting with effort.

"Oh...okay. Come on Matthew." Lauren said, walking slower than usual as she helped her brother up the hill. "We'll meet you up there Kels."

"Meet you Kelsi!" Matthew said, dutifully following after his sister.

Kelsi waved the kids up, thankful that she was at least gaining on them. Once they made it to the top, it was always hard for them to hold on to their patience. They were instantly eager to go downhill. Kelsi couldn't help wishing she had been blessed with more coordination. Seriously, it didn't matter who her friends were or what age they consisted of...she was always the most clumsy. As Kelsi focused on putting one leg successfully in front of the other, she heard a commotion happening up the hill. Bringing her attention to Lauren and Matthew, she noticed they were waving exuberantly at something...or someone. Kelsi felt a familiar prickly sensation at the back of her neck. She knew who was at the base of the hill before she even made visual contact.

Ryan was struggling not to laugh...if Kelsi was anything like he remembered her to be, she would not appreciate him finding the humor in her current trek up the sledding hill. She was seriously adorable though. She was paying such close attention to putting one foot ahead of the other and then without warning her arms would start flapping like a bird and her hands would fall out in front of her to catch her fall. It was like an ongoing cycle that just kept repeating itself. He had assumed he had been watching her inconspicuously, that is until he heard the high pitched greeting coming from up above. Looking down on him were what looked like two human puffed up balloons in pink and blue. Lauren and Matthew looked about triple their actual size in their snowsuits and winter garb. He waved excitedly, as he followed Kelsi up the mountain. Ryan was all of the sudden feeling much better about this semi-planned excursion.

"Looks like you could use a hand, and preferably one that is attached to a body which is bigger than your own." Ryan stated, not waiting for permission as his arm came around Kelsi's waist.

Kelsi felt like she had just been burnt. She didn't think it was possible to feel a person's body heat through a winter coat, apparently she was wrong. Kelsi lifted her bespectacled blue eyes up to Ryan's and time seemed to stop...that is until she slipped.

"Oh crap!" Kelsi cried, as her leg gave out from under her.

Ryan struggled to hold on, but felt his own traction faltering, as his feet started to loose their grip. He did his best to cushion their fall, as he swung Kelsi's slight body over to land on top of him. As Ryan felt Kelsi's backside press into his lap, he realized that was probably a less than intelligent move. Her small derrière nestled into him, as she attempted to right the situation. Ryan did everything he could to not loose his cool and keep control over his body. His traitorous body that seemed determined to act on its own accord.

Kelsi was utterly humiliated...and really overheated. God, it was almost easy to forget it was the dead of winter, her body was so infused with heat. She started to squirm in Ryan's lap, attempting to get up and right the situation. Ryan seemed more than willing to let her go, he practically threw her off of him. Quickly countering the move, by helping her to stand.

"Are you alright?" Ryan asked, hoping his face wasn't as red as it felt.

Kelsi looked up at Ryan, wondering why he was suddenly so flushed.

"I'm fine...trust me when I say I am used to battling the challenge of this hill." Kelsi said, attempting to lighten the undeniably tense moment.

Thankfully Lauren and Matthew decided to interject at that moment.

"Kelsi, you okay?" Matthew yelled, his speech a tad bit jumbled.

"Are you guys coming or what?" Lauren countered immediately, her impatience apparent in her tone.

"We're coming you guys, just hold on, I have to finish helping Kelsi up the mountain." Ryan said, his gloved fingers grasping Kelsi's mitten clad hand.

Kelsi tried not to notice how perfectly her hand fit in Ryan's. (The operative word _tried_.)

"It's not a mountain Ryan...it's a _hill_." Lauren corrected, once again drawing Kelsi and Ryan attention just as they took the final steps to make it successfully up the hill.

Ryan couldn't help but grin at the tiny red headed girl.

"Oh, my mistake, I meant _hill._" Ryan stated, pronouncing the last word with the same emphasis Lauren previously used.

Lauren laughed at Ryan's response, thinking that he was pretty funny, for a grown up. She let her gaze wander over Ryan and Kelsi, their faces were awfully red. They kind of looked like the strawberries she so much loved to eat, or the hair that presided on top of her head. Her grass green eyes stopped on the couples' still linked hands. Lauren smiled a tiny smile as she recognized that they were unaware that they were still grasping each other, despite the fact that they were already up the hill. Lauren noticed the way Ryan looked at Kelsi...like she was a fairy princess or something wonderful like that. Lauren knew how great Kelsi was and she liked that Ryan seemed to be aware of it too. The only thing that gave her a teeny-tiny sliver of doubt was the unsure look Kelsi was wearing. Lauren couldn't tell if it was confusion or fear. And she wasn't sure if either of those emotions was a good thing for Kelsi to be feeling. The thing that gave Lauren hope, that made her glad she had told Ryan about their sledding plans, was the fact that Kelsi was still holding Ryan's hand. There was a part of her nanny who wanted to be near Ryan....maybe even craved it. Lauren shook off her thoughts, and decided to focus on more pressing matters...like sledding.

"Are you guys ready to sled yet? Matty and I have been waiting _all_ day." Lauren said, drawing out the word "all."

"Yeah, Kelsi takes a reeeeeaaaaaly long time to get up the hill." Matthew supplied, feeling helpful.

"You guys really are wonderful for my self esteem." Kelsi said dryly, all the while giving the kids she loved more than anything a warm look.

"Oh Kelsi, we still love you, even if you are sometimes a little clumsy." Lauren said, walking over to throw her arms around her petite nanny.

"A "little clumsy", so that means your coordination has improved over the years?" Ryan said, falling into the joking atmosphere.

Kelsi shot Ryan a sly look, oh, he was going to pay for that.

"So Ryan, I take your showing up here ready to sled means you have now picked up the hobby of...how did you used to put it when I would try to get you to go sledding back in New York..." Kelsi paused effectively. "Ah yes, I believe you described it as "using a silly piece of small plastic to possibly cause yourself bodily harm?"

Kelsi, Lauren and Matthew all looked at Ryan expectantly, all three were wearing cheery smiles.

Ryan tried to play it off cool.

"I love to sled now, I think it's great. I honestly can't think of anything I would rather be doing. It should be...." Ryan stopped, trying to figure out the correct word. "Neat." Ryan winced the moment the word was out of his mouth...neat,_ neat_...Kelsi was so not going to believe that. Hell, the kids weren't going to believe that.

Kelsi knew he was lying. She doubted he had ever been sledding in his life. She could be nice and help him through the process, but in her mind the humorous scenario was already forming. Plus he owed her for the "clumsy" comment.

"Well then Ryan...why don't you go first? You know, so you can test the slopes for us, make sure they are..._neat_." Kelsi looked at Ryan innocently.

Ryan looked at Kelsi wearing her fake innocent look. She was challenging him..._him_. And she was joking with him too...this was good. Well, except for the whole racing downhill on a piece of plastic. But hey, how hard could it be, he could do this. He was after all a professional dancer _and_ choreographer. How hard would it really be to keep his body on the sled?

Ryan looked questionably at the small silver piece of plastic Kelsi held in her hand. Taking a deep breath, he put his hand out, palm up. Kelsi wasted no time in handing the small sled to him.

Lauren and Matthew both had their foreheads raised, wearing matching expressions that seemed to convey "this may be a VERY bad idea."

"Do you want me to go with you Ryan?" Lauren supplied helpfully, giving him one more chance to change his mind.

Ryan wished in this instance he wasn't like his sister. He couldn't back down, he had been challenged and there was no turning back now.

"No, that okay sweetie." Ryan said, smiling what he hoped was a reassuring smile at Lauren. He looked at Kelsi and directed his second comment at her. "I can do this."

"Let's see it dancing man." Kelsi said with a grin, using the nickname she used to call him at Juilliard.

With the added confidence Kelsi's familiarity gave him, Ryan went about the task of sledding...

It didn't go well.

Ryan sat on the sled, using his hands and feet to keep him positioned on the hill. Wow, the sled was really slippery. Ryan hadn't realized exactly how fast it was going to go. He kept trying to find a successful position. A few times he would think he was about to go down hill and then he would suddenly use his hands and feet to stop himself. He could hear Kelsi, Lauren and Matthew trying not to laugh, as his usually graceful limbs sprawled out in all directions, attempting to keep him and the blasted contraption he was sitting on, positioned on top of the hill. This cycle replayed itself a few times, until Lauren's voice broke through the laughter.

"Ryan, do you need us to show you how it's done?" Lauren asked, placing a small hand on his shoulder in comfort.

Ryan was defeated, the truth was out...he didn't know how to sled. "Um, sure."

Ryan watched as Kelsi positioned herself on the sled, using her limbs to brace herself and the sled while the kids climbed on. With Lauren and Matthew firmly seated in front of her, Kelsi let her arms do the work to keep them uphill, while she wrapped her legs around the children protectively. She used what Ryan guessed was her bottom to get the sled rightfully aligned.

"Are you guys ready?" She asked the kids, the excitement escaping into her voice. This was her favorite part, it always made the horrible trek uphill so worth it.

"Yeah!" the kids chorused, the anticipation evident in their mixed voices.

Ryan watched in wonder as the clumsiest, most uncoordinated girl he knew went barreling down the steep hill like a professional...while holding on tightly to the children. The three bodies seemed to work in sync, as they moved and weaved together. Ryan was completely unaware of the huge laugh that escaped his body as he heard the shrieks of joy echo throughout the park.

As soon as the sled skidded to a halt, Kelsi flipped her head around to view Ryan. He was laughing uproariously, while he clapped his hands in applause.

"Oh kids, look...Ryan is clapping. And what do we do when we receive applause?" Kelsi said, directing her attention between both the children and Ryan.

The kids needed no further encouragement. Two little bodies...and Kelsi, crawled off the sled, stood in a line in the middle of the playground, faced Ryan and took their bows.

Ryan continued to laugh, as the joy filled him up. Happiness seemed to almost overwhelm him. He attempted to think of a time when he had felt this free and at peace. It had been a long time...a very long time. Probably not since he had been in Kelsi's company. He shook the thoughts quickly away, as he saw Kelsi and the kids making their way back up the hill. He met them halfway, taking Kelsi's hand in his to lend support.

"I'll help you up the hill, if you help me down?" Ryan offered softly under his breath, a smile warming his features.

Kelsi lifted her flushed face to Ryan's and let her hand tighten in his hold.

"It would be my pleasure." She said with a somewhat shy smile.

As they followed Lauren and Matthew up the hill, Ryan kept stealing glances of Kelsi. Noticing that he evidently wanted to say something, Kelsi broached the issue.

"What is it?" She asked, staring at him expectantly.

"It's nothing really...just thoughts." Ryan said, a little embarrassed he had been caught staring.

"Just tell me?" Kelsi said, almost slipping and finding herself safe within Ryan's grip. "Thanks." She offered.

Ryan just smiled back in understanding. He contemplated whether he should tell her what was on his mind. He didn't want to break the moment or alter the easy mood. In the end, he decided to throw caution to the wind and speak the truth.

"I'm happy Kelsi. Happier than I can remember being in a long time." Ryan said, quietly awaiting Kelsi's reaction.

Kelsi instantly stopped the difficult walk up hill and turned to direct her full attention on the boy she had been in love with for so much of her life.

"Me too Ryan." Kelsi said softly, almost getting lost in Ryan's blue eyes that seemed to be shining brighter by the moment. Embarrassed by the attention, Kelsi looked down bashfully.

Ryan recognized that the admission had been a hard one for Kelsi to make. And he was eternally grateful that she had entrusted him with it. Focused on making her more comfortable, Ryan slightly changed the subject.

"How about you make me even more happy, by showing me how to get that thing down the hill successfully?" Ryan said, gesturing towards the small sled.

Kelsi was about to respond, when they were interrupted by Matthew.

"Are you guys coming?" Matthew's said with a huge smile, his little teeth all within view.

Kelsi looked up at her two little wonders on top of the hill and then back at Ryan. A smile started to spread across her lips, a smile that seemed to touch every one of her features. She held onto Ryan's hand more firmly as she formed her answer.

"We are Matthew. We are on our way."

Ryan looked down at Kelsi as they continued to climb the hill. He couldn't help feeling that her last sentence had more than one meaning. And as he felt the warmth of Kelsi's hand through his glove and the welcoming electric currents that seemed to accompany it, he hoped beyond hope that it was true. That he and Kelsi were in fact on their way.

_**I hope you guys liked this. The sledding aspect of this story is in fact true. The kids and I took my boyfriend sledding this past winter and watching him attempt to sled was one of the funniest things I have ever witnessed. It had started with him wanting to "check the hill, make sure it was safe." And in the end, the kids and I had to show him how it was done.**_


	12. Chapter 12

_**Hi you guys! So, I wasn't planning on starting this chapter with our dynamic duo...or foursome, still on the sledding hill. But I found that I didn't want to miss out on any possible interaction between our favorite couple. (And I am not referring to Lauren and Matthew, even though they are adorable.) Oh, and I would like to say thank you to little Matty, for deciding to nap, so that I could start writing this chapter while at work. (It's like he knows he is a part of my inspiration...so supportive.) Also, thank you so much for reading and reviewing. All of you are simply marvelous. **_

Ryan could practically see his life flashing before his eyes as he zoomed down the hill. He didn't necessarily know what he was doing. It wasn't like there was a steering wheel on the sled. The only thing he could logically think to do was hold on for dear life....and scream. And oh, was he screaming.

Kelsi, Lauren and Matthew stood on the top of the hill, watching in wonder as Ryan neared the bottom. Kelsi was trying to control her laughter, she didn't know Ryan's voice could reach that high of a pitch. Lauren's mouth was hanging open in shock. She didn't understand why Ryan was so scared, it was just a sled...on a hill. She honestly couldn't grasp what the big deal was. And Matthew was jumping up and down impatiently, waiting until Kelsi gave him the okay to meet Ryan at the bottom of the hill. When Ryan's sled finally slowed to a stop, the trio watching on the top of the hill kept waiting for him to jump off the sled. But he didn't. He just sat there, gripping the edges of the "silver bullet" and not moving a muscle. Kelsi hoped he wasn't going into shock. God, now she was starting to feel bad about pushing him into trying something new.

"Kelsi, why isn't Ryan moving?" Matthew asked innocently, verbalizing Kelsi's previous thoughts.

"Do you think he's okay Kels Bells?" Lauren asked, joining on the worried band wagon.

Kelsi's blue eyes were growing wide with worried confusion, as she watched Ryan's continued act of stillness.

"Come on kiddos, let's head down there and check on him." Kelsi said, forcing the calm into her voice.

Kelsi and the kids easily situated themselves onto the remaining sled, before racing down the hill. Kelsi wasn't able to find any of her usual excitement out of the ride, she was too wrought with fear. It was not like Ryan to remain so motionless. As soon as the sled slowed to a reasonable pace, Kelsi rolled off, letting the kids continue their ride across the snowbanks. Kelsi half walked, half crawled through the snow until she reached Ryan. He just sat there, staring straight ahead, blue eyes wide, his breath coming out in short rapid bursts. Kelsi knelt in front of him, resting her mitten covered hands gently on his bent knees as she looked into his eyes, trying to breach the silence.

"Ryan? Ryan, can you hear me? Are you okay?" Kelsi asked, no longer trying to disguise her fear. "I am so sorry I convinced you to go down the hill. I-I should have listened to you when you said you didn't want to and just accepted your answer. I promise I will make it up to you, but you have to speak first...or look at me. Can you do that Ry? Can you look at me?"

Ryan felt like he could hear someone's voice coming from the far recesses of his mind. There seemed to be an overwhelming whooshing sound that wanted to override the familiar voice. Ryan was self aware enough to know he was in shock. It just seemed he was unable to bring himself back to reality.

Matthew and Lauren watched as Kelsi hunched over Ryan, trying to get him to respond to her. Lauren was starting to latch on to the worry that was radiating from Kelsi's body. She didn't understand what had happened or why Ryan was acting so funny, but she was starting to become a teeny, tiny bit scared.

Matthew on the other hand, wasn't all that worried. And in his three-year old mind he knew just how to handle the present dilemma. With no thought or warning, Matthew's little toddler body started trudging through the snow. He fell a few times and that was a little frustrating, but he knew he had to keep going. By Firetruck...he had a purpose! And with that said purpose firmly in mind, he launched himself at Ryan's body, easily tackling a distracted Ryan into the fluffy white snow.

Kelsi watched helplessly as Ryan was hurdled down to the ground by a mini-human steamroller. Her brief moments of dueling shock, anger and worry gave way to laughter the moment she saw that Matthew's tactic had worked and Ryan was definitely back in the present.

Ryan looked up in surprise at the baby toothed face peering down at him. Matthew's features seemed to take up all of Ryan's vision, as he worked to shake off the rest of the shock that had taken over his body only moments before.

"Hi Matthew." Ryan said, not really knowing exactly what a person does when they find themselves pinned in the wet snow by a toddler caught somewhere between baby and boy.

"Hi Ryan, you better now?" Matthew asked, a bit of drool escaping from his lower lips.

Ryan turned his face in the nick of time. He had come to really like Matthew, but that didn't mean he was ready to be given an impromptu bath in baby drool. "I'm great buddy. Thanks for helping me out there."

Matthew transformed his tackle into a hug, as he tucked his fleece covered head under Ryan's chin. Ryan felt the little boy's tiny, chubby arms grasp both sides of his coat as he squeezed. Ryan actually felt his breath catch, and not in discomfort. He had never really been hugged by a child before...without any coaxing from anyone else. This little boy was openly hugging him...because he wanted to. Ryan was surprised to find moisture filling his eyes.

Kelsi watched the scene unfolding with wonder. As she felt Lauren drop gently into her lap, she shared a little cuddle with her favorite girl as she watched Matthew start to thaw a part of Ryan's heart she hadn't been aware was frozen. Kelsi dropped a kiss on top of Lauren's head, taking a moment to nuzzle her nose into the little girl's escaping red curls. No doubt about it, there was something so special about children and the feelings they were able to awaken in a person. And not just any children...these children. Lauren and Matthew just seemed to embody the meaning of loving.

Ryan sat up, levering his body out of the snow, while still holding on to Matthew. He gently shifted the boy around and found himself face to face with a similarly positioned Kelsi and Lauren. The couple just stood there staring at each other, both of them holding onto the knowledge that _this_ was a special moment.

Kelsi was the first one to break the silence.

"I'm sorry I pressured you to sled Ryan. I never would have, had I know how it would...effect you." Kelsi apologized earnestly.

"No worries Kels. It was actually...fun." Ryan supplied, a sheepish smile tracing his lips.

Kelsi looked at Ryan is disbelief, not even attempting to school her expression.

"Fun? Yeah right...I would describe your trip down the hill as many things, but _fun_ is definitely not on the list."

Lauren decided to interject before Ryan could summon up a response.

"Yeah, you were screaming way too loud for us to actually believe you liked it."

Ryan had the grace to blush, a tad bit embarrassed by Lauren's comment. He had remembered yelling. But he would have definitely classified his noise making as "yelling" not "screaming"..."Yelling" just had a more manly ring to it.

"I wouldn't say I was necessarily _screaming_, I think yelli-"

Ryan was promptly interrupted by Lauren.

"No, you were screaming...and your voice was reaching to really high levels. I actually didn't know boys could talk so high." Lauren said, putting the last part of her half questioning statement to Kelsi.

Kelsi was struggling not to crack a smile. Lauren was unknowingly, and quite innocently, insulting Ryan's manhood.

"I don't think it was quite that high-" Kelsi started, attempting to cushion Ryan's pride.

"No, he screams high like this..." Matthew added, and then went about imitating Ryan's scream.

At that point it was impossible for Kelsi not to laugh. As she looked up at Ryan, she saw that he was also having difficulty keeping a straight face. Soon enough, all four of them were laughing uproariously.

"This was the most fun sledding adventure ever!" Lauren said. "I am so glad you came Ryan."

Kelsi looked at Ryan expectantly.

"Oh, I meant to ask you Ryan...how did you find out about this? I mean us sledding?" Kelsi asked, realization dawning when she noticed Ryan and Lauren seeming to have a nonverbal communication of sorts. "I see. A little birdie named Lauren told you where we would be?"

"Are you mad Kelsi?" Lauren asked, her brow furrowed and her green eyes wide with unsuppressed worry.

Kelsi shifted her gaze from Lauren to Ryan and Matthew. She took in Ryan's steady gaze and the natural way he cradled Matthew's hands as he held the small boy comfortably in his lap. Kelsi returned her gaze to Lauren, giving the 5 year old a loving and reassuring hug.

"I'm not mad Lady Bug. Actually I'm quite...grateful." Kelsi whispered the last word, and shyly lifted her slightly bewildered eyes to Ryan's delighted ones.

"And I am ecstatic!" Ryan excitedly announced to Lauren, earning a blush from Kelsi and bursts of laughter from the kids.

Kelsi was about to respond, when she felt a quick gust of cold wind hit her face harshly. She innately sheltered Lauren's face from the oncoming wind.

"I hate to bust up this party kids, but I think we should start to head home. The wind is picking up, the sun is starting to set and we still have a brief walk home." Kelsi made the statement knowing it was time to leave, but not really wanting to. The day had been an unexpected and wonderful surprise.

Kelsi's announcement had an immediate "no" response from the kids and a disappointed one from Ryan. Ryan knew Kelsi was right, he was just hesitant to end such a perfect day. As much as he would enjoy spending time at the hotel with Sharpay, it wouldn't come close to comparing to this.

Kelsi was quick to react to the kids.

"I know guys. I am sad to leave too. But maybe if we get home in time, we can make cookies for dessert tonight." Kelsi said, hoping the promise would cushion the disappointment.

"Oooo...can we make some as big as our heads?" Lauren asked, always loving it when Kelsi allowed them to create giant cookies as a special treat.

"Yay!!!! Cookies as big as my head!" Matthew chorused, in ready agreement with his sister.

Kelsi could not help but laugh at the kids excitement.

"I think we may be able to manage that." Kelsi said, helping Lauren to stand, before working her own way off the ground.

Matthew was fast to scoot off Ryan's lap. The promise of cookies had an almost magical effect on the little guy.

Kelsi turned to face Ryan.

"You were a completely unexpected surprise today Mr. Evans." Kelsi paused, taking a moment to break eye contact before resuming contact and conversation. "And I am so glad you were able to share the day with us." Kelsi finished, two rosy beacons of color shining brightly on her cheeks...a blush that had nothing to do with the cold weather.

Ryan looked at Kelsi, varying emotions crossing his features.

"The pleasure was all mine Kels. It was in all honesty, this was one of the best days I have ever had." Ryan then shifted his gaze to the kids. "And thank you, both of you, for letting me tag along on your adventure."

Lauren and Matthew shared a knowing grin before moving in to spontaneously hug Ryan in response.

"Is it time for the Kelsi train to leave now?" Matthew asked, pulling his face away from Ryan's embrace to pose the question.

"It sure is...who's hitching a ride?" Kelsi asked, holding both of her hands palm up, ready and expecting the two tiny hands that were soon held in hers.

"Me!" Lauren said, moving in to half hug Kelsi as she made her announcement.

"Me too...me too. I love trains." Matthew exclaimed, focusing on Ryan during his last comment.

Kelsi started to say goodbye to Ryan, when Lauren suddenly interrupted.

"Ryan, are you coming on the Kelsi train?" The little girl asked, a hopeful smile seeming to fill her entire face.

Ryan froze. He knew the smart move would be to just make his farewells and head back to the hotel.

But that wasn't going to happen.

"I was once told the Kelsi train doesn't take passengers over 5 feet in height...have the rules been altered since then?" Ryan looked straight at Kelsi as he posed the question, practically begging her with his eyes to let him come with.

Kelsi wore a small smirk as she met Ryan's gaze. Oh, he was a sly one that Ryan Evans. She snuck a glimpse of the kids, noting the eager grins on both Matthew and Lauren's faces. How was she expected to burst their cute little bubbles? Kelsi was very aware that the safest course of action was to send Ryan on his merry way. But somehow, she couldn't do that. Blame it on the magical winter wonderland setting, the way he was with the kids or the fabulous day they had just shared...she couldn't say no. Kelsi took a moment to recognize that she was on her way to being in big possible heart break (again).

"It just so happens we do have a stipulation policy." Kelsi countered, pushing a stray piece of hair behind her ear.

"And what might this policy be?" Ryan asked, a smile alive throughout his features.

"Well, we do allow individuals who do not meet the height requirement if....they can make _awesome_ chocolate chip cookies." Kelsi supplied.

"That are as big as your head." Lauren was quick to add.

"Yeah....like that big." Matthew said, using his hands...and his head to show precisely how big the cookies should be.

"Well, it just so happens that I have Kelsi's and my friend Zeke's famous chocolate chip cookie recipe." Ryan said with a huge grin.

Kelsi could have sworn her stomach growled at the mention of Zeke's chocolate chip cookies.

"Ryan Evans, today is your lucky day...you are now the first passenger to ride the Kelsi train who is over 5 feet tall." Kelsi said, smiling before turning to focus on the children whose hands were still firmly tucked beside her own. "You guys ready to lead the way?"

"Let's go!" Lauren said, squeezing Kelsi's hand lightly, before moving over to take Ryan's hand.

"Choo Choo!" Matthew said loudly, swinging Kelsi's hand as they walked back home.

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Sarah could hear the echoing sounds of music and laughter from the hallway of her home. A gentle smile graced her lips, as she neared the door. Every time she heard her kids laugh, it was as if a section of her heart healed from all of the loss it had been dealt the last few years. As she opened the door, her sense of smell was immediately overcome by the most wonderful scent. She definitely smelled chocolate, it just seemed to be cooked in a way she had never experienced before.

Sarah entered the kitchen to a hilarious sight. Lauren and Matthew were both standing on step stools in their matching aprons...covered in flour. And they weren't the only ones. Kelsi's hair looked to be half white and the mystery man in the middle of it all had a white hand print on his cheek that looked to be the size of her son's. Sarah couldn't help but wonder who the attractive blond man was. She would guess him to be around Kelsi's age and he seemed to be fairly familiar with her wonderful nanny.

"What's going on here?" Sarah asked, laughing as Lauren and Matthew quickly sailed across the room to hug her. "Aw, hey guys...I missed you too." She continued, dropping loving kisses upon both of their flour covered cheeks.

Kelsi's cheeks seemed to turn a delightful pink under the film of flour.

"Hi Sarah. This is my friend Ryan. We were just making chocolate chip cookies for dessert." Kelsi paused quickly, taking in the mess around them. "Sorry about the mess, I guess we lost track of time. I promise I will clean everything up before we leave." Kelsi said by way of explanation.

Sarah quickly waved away Kelsi's worry.

"It's nice to meet you Ryan." Sarah started, moving forward to shake the young man's hand. So this was the Ryan she had heard so much about. While Sarah did experience a moment of motherly worry, she couldn't help but feel the comfortable and warm vibe that seemed to be attached to the blond man. "And don't worry about cleaning Kelsi, the kids and I can do it. Besides, any mess is worth the amount of fun it looks like you guys had today." Sarah stated sweetly, moving over to taste a chocolate chip cookie. "Ohmigod...you can make these any time you want, with as much mess as necessary. These are phenomenal. You know, when I was first walking in the door, I thought you were baking some new creation up here, I had never smelled something more heavenly." Sarah shared, looking at Ryan in awe, figuring he was the one who had inspired these fabulous cookies.

Ryan actually started to blush. He couldn't get over how sweet and supportive Kelsi's boss was. If he didn't already understand from his interaction with the kids, he would have understood now through meeting Sarah why Kelsi was so attached to her job.

"Thanks, but I can't take credit for the recipe. It's actually a friend of ours." Ryan supplied, motioning to Kelsi.

"Well, you will have to personally tell him I say thank you." Sarah said. "Now, why don't you two hit the road and enjoy the remainder of the night. The kids and I can clean this up...there look to be some bowls and spoons that could use some licking." Sarah supplied, not at all surprised by the exuberant cheers that announcement received from her children.

Ryan didn't need to be told twice. Sarah had just given him the perfect excuse to spend more time with Kelsi. Before Kelsi could realize what was going on, he took her hand and initiated the goodbyes.

Kelsi couldn't get over how quickly she was leaving work. Usually her farewells took at least 15 minutes or so. But tonight, they seemed to be flying by...and she couldn't completely comprehend why. In all honesty, the whole day seemed like a whirl of activity to her...a wonderful and enjoyable whirl, but a whirl all the same. In record time, Kelsi found herself out side her work and standing next to Ryan...alone. She was alone with him. The word seemed to perform a never ending symphony in her head...alone, ALONE,_ alone_,** alone**. She looked up to meet Ryan's eyes and opened her mouth to say something, not all together sure what she was planning to say.

"We're alone." Kelsi said lamely. She could not believe she just said that. That had to be number one on the list of most obvious things not to say.

Ryan greeted Kelsi's suddenly panicked expression with gentle calm.

"We are. Would you mind if I walked you home?" Ryan asked, patiently waiting for her answer.

She should say no. At least that's what Kelsi was telling herself. True, they had just shared a wonderful day...magical even. But that was before, when they had the nice safe buffer of children present. Now they were...alone. Okay seriously, she had to stop thinking that. She was starting to truly resent the word "alone".

"Sure." Kelsi supplied weakly. Wow, that was not the response she had been planning. She had wanted to say, "thanks for the offer, but I think it would be better if I walked myself back home"...somehow that wasn't the answer that escaped her lips. It seemed tonight her head and voice couldn't find their way to the same page.

Ryan was honestly surprised. He had been completely expecting Kelsi to reject his offer of a walk home. He wasn't about to turn his back on his good fortune though. He quietly walked by her side as she led the way to the train.

"You really don't have to walk me home. I mean...I can find my own way back." Kelsi said, a familiar, but different tension seeming to fill the air.

"No it's okay. I want to." Ryan said softly.

"This was quite an unexpected day huh?" Kelsi started.

No sooner was the question out before Kelsi started to slip on the ice covering a portion of the sidewalk. Ryan's arms instantly found her waist, as he used his own body to help her and him gain balance. Ryan felt the familiar sparks of electricity and the steady rush of heat fill his body as Kelsi's petite frame made hard contact with his chest. Both of them stood there for what seemed like centuries, but was actually only a few seconds. Ryan was trying to force his breathing and pulse to a regular pace and Kelsi was trying to gain the nerve to look up. At the moment she was quite focused on some stray pieces of lint stuck to the the right shoulder of his jacket.

Kelsi took a deep breath and raised her gaze to Ryan's. Her blue eyes met his and the butterflies that were currently residing in her stomach took on a whole life of their own.

Ryan reached over and straightened Kelsi's askew glasses, the tips of his fingers lightly brushing her temples in the process. Ryan noticed how Kelsi's breath caught at the contact. It was easy to recognize, since the same thing seemed to be happening to him. These feelings were so new to Ryan. He had never felt anything close to this intense with Amanda. And this was completely out of sorts in regards to Kelsi. True, when they were friends, he may have felt an unfamiliar stirring every now and again. But nothing that compared to now. Ryan had been aware that he had missed her friendship, he had even been aware that something more may just be evident. But this...this was extraordinary. This was what he had always wanted, what he had been looking for. Had he known he would find it with Kelsi...Ryan couldn't even begin to comprehend how different his life would be right now. Ryan's thoughts continued to stir in his mind as he compared how different his interactions with Kelsi were now when compared to before...when they were friends in high school and college. It was practically night and day.

Kelsi stared at Ryan, noting all of the varying emotions that seemed to be running across his features. There were questions there, questions she wasn't sure she had answers to. And more importantly, questions she wasn't sure she was ready to answer.

"We had better hurry, I don't want to get home too late." Kelsi said, effectively changing the topic.

Kelsi's statement seemed to interrupt Ryan's inner ramblings.

"Oh right. Why don't you hold on to my arm, it may be safer that way." Ryan said, referring to Kelsi's near fall on the ice.

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The remaining walk and train ride was done in relative silence...but a comfortable one. Well, as comfortable as both parties were able to be. Before either of them knew it, and before Ryan was completely ready, they found themselves at Kelsi's door.

"This is me." Kelsi said, nodding up in her building's direction.

"Oh, this looks nice." Ryan said, not quite able to hide his disappointment over reaching their destination.

"It serves its purpose. And I am comfortable here." Kelsi said, making small talk and a bit unsure as to how she should go about saying goodbye without the farewell being too awkward.

"That's good. Well, thanks for letting me walk you home." Ryan said, moving in to kiss Kelsi on the cheek before he could loose his nerve.

"Oh." Kelsi started, in response to his kiss. She felt her cheeks heat up, as words left her.

Ryan smiled at Kelsi's flustered expression.

"Goodnight Kelsi. I had a wonderful time with you today." Ryan said, gaining confidence after viewing the effect his innocent kiss had on the small woman.

"G-goodnight Ryan. Me too. I mean, I had a wonderful time too....with you." Kelsi managed to get out, literally wincing over how discombobulated her grammar was. She seriously felt almost more flustered from this kiss than the rough one she had gotten from Ryan a few days ago.

Ryan started to back away, still facing Kelsi and making eye contact.

"I'll see you soon Kels."

Kelsi took a deep breath, completely unaware of the small palm she held to her recently kissed cheek.

"See you soon Ryan." Kelsi managed.

Once she was safely inside her apartment, Kelsi leaned her back against the door and slowly let herself drop to the hard wood floor. Her voice was barely a whisper when she uttered.

"I am in such big trouble."


	13. Chapter 13

_**Hi guys...thanks so much for taking the time to read my story and for letting me know your thoughts. It means so much to me. And also, I am so happy that Lauren and Matthew have seemed to strike such a chord with all of you. They are pretty special. This chapter is a little shorter and a bit of a filler. It was necessary though, to set up what I am planning for the next couple of chapters. I am sorry I have not been as frequent with my updates, I think I am averaging 1-2 a week...and I promise to keep that pace up. I have a good reason for this though, one many of you may be excited about. I am transitioning my story "Grace" into a novel. (This means taking out the HSM aspects, but the heart of Kelsi and Ryan are going to remain the same. And of course Grace will stay exactly as she is.) "Grace" will be the first of a three part trilogy. All centered on three best girl friends. If you are interested in information about this and to be updated on my progress let me know.**_

_**Thanks again, Jen**_

Sharpay Evans sat across from her brother in the crowded hotel restaurant, her pink manicured fingers drumming a repetitive beat on the table top. She was desperately trying to pay attention, as Ryan relayed the previous night's events to her. Honestly, what was exciting to her brother _so_ wasn't her cup of tea. While she agreed Ryan needed to meet Kelsi at the sledding hill, frolicking around in wet snow was the exact opposite of Sharpay's idea of fun. There were a few bright points in Ryan's tiring dialogue. She couldn't help but smile, as Ryan reenacted his experience down the sledding hill. And she was also forced to admit, the kids Kelsi watched sounded...interesting, in a cute way. And Sharpay's attention was definitely caught when Ryan mentioned Zeke's cookies. She actually felt her mouth begin to water at the mere mention of those cookies...and her boyfriend. As Sharpay allowed her thoughts to focus on Zeke, she recognized that she was going to need to be heading home soon. As much as she enjoyed spending time with her brother and helping him on his romantic ventures, she was missing Zeke more than she had counted on. It was actually quite a realization for the pink-loving diva. Whereas, Sharpay had always known she loved and adored Zeke, she had not become aware of how much she needed him. Being away from him, for just these few days was showing her how necessary he was in her life. Sharpay let her gaze wander to her left ring finger as she considered possible next steps in her relationship. She briefly wondered if it would be appropriate for the woman to propose to the man? Sharpay laughed off the contemplation, when had she ever played by the rules? If she wanted to marry Zeke, she would, simple as that.

Ryan became aware about half way through his retelling of the night before that his sister was no longer in the same hemisphere as him. He was about to make a pointed comment, but Sharpay's expression stopped him. Whatever she was thinking about had a mirage of expressions washing across her features. First she looked...hungry. That didn't make much sense to Ryan, but without a doubt, hunger was the emotion he was reading. And then she looked contemplative, with a bit of wonder and surprise. And then something happened that Ryan never thought he would ever experience. His sister's lips parted in a gentle smile, her deep brown eyes warmed and a pretty blush covered her cheeks. It was as if an inner peace started to radiate off of her very being. Ryan blinked his eyes rapidly, as he recognized what he was witnessing. Right there, before his very eyes, his sister, Sharpay Evans, was softening. Ryan just watched amazed, as his twin's bright eyes met his.

"Ryan, I need Zeke. Like _really_ need him. He is a necessary component in my life. My life is actually _lacking_ without him." Sharpay expressed, her voice caught somewhere between alarm and amazement.

"That's wonderful Shar, because it is apparent to all who know the two of you that Zeke feels the exact same way." Ryan said softly, a warm smile on his face, as he reached across the table to grasp his sister's hand.

"It is isn't it?" Sharpay asked quietly.

"Yes, it is." Ryan responded honestly. "And you know, with that big of a revelation, I can't even be that upset that you completely disregarded all of what I was previously telling you."

A pretty blush covered Sharpay's cheeks at Ryan's comment.

"Sorry Ry. I was trying to listen, I really was. It's just, my mind started to wander and then you mentioned Zeke's cookies and....well, you know what that does to me." Sharpay paused, as inspiration hit. "Come to think of it, you can't even blame me for loosing track of your story. It was your own fault Ry. You shouldn't have mentioned those cookies." Sharpay finished, feeling quite vindicated.

"Right, sorry Shar, it was all my fault. I never should have mentioned the cookies." Ryan said, the dry sarcasm evident in his voice.

"Oh, shut up Ry." Sharpay sent back with a playful smirk. "So what happened after the cookies?"

"Well, I walked Kelsi home-" Ryan started, only to be interrupted by Sharpay.

"That's good Ry, very smooth move." Sharpay interjected.

"Thank you." Ryan stated, a smile on his face and eyebrows slightly raised. "Like a gentleman, I showed her to her door and sent her inside with a goodnight kiss." Ryan finished, feeling quite pleased with himself.

"_What_?" Sharpay exclaimed, drawing the attention of the other couples and families currently eating breakfast in the hotel's acclaimed restaurant. "Ryan, how many times do I have to tell you, it is too soon to be kissing her. Honestly, do I need to staple your lips shut? It makes no sense, you were friends with the girl for years, and did you ever try to kiss her...when she wanted you to kiss her might I add? No, you didn't. And now, when she is ready to flee in the other direction at the mere sight of you, what have you done? I'll tell you what you've done...kissed her, not once, but twice. Seriously Ryan, sometimes I wonder about you." Sharpay finished, taking a deep breath as fresh air whooshed into her lungs.

Ryan just sat there, staring at her from across the table, sitting back in his chair, lounging, as if he had been enjoying a show.

"Are you finished?" He asked his sister simply.

"Yes, I think so." Sharpay huffed.

"Good. Would now be a good time to mention that I kissed her on the....wait for it...cheek?" Ryan stated, a smart smirk already in place.

Sharpay stared at her brother in complete silence, her lips forming into a small "O". She quickly looked around, just then starting to realize the commotion she had just made.

"You kissed her on the cheek?" Sharpay whispered, leaning over the table to focus on her brother, trying not to draw anymore unwanted attention.

"Yes Shar, the cheek." Ryan responded, mimicking Sharpay's voice and action.

"Oh well, that's alright then. Sweet even." Sharpay supplied, leaning back in her chair and attempting to act casual.

Ryan just shook his head and chuckled, as he stared at his sister.

"Glad you approve Shar, glad you approve."

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Kelsi burrowed further into her coat, her hands gripping the mittens of her two small companions. Matthew and Lauren both started to bounce in excitement as they neared the theater. Kelsi hadn't been planning on taking the kids into the heart of the city, but she had received a call from Charlie when she had been picking Lauren up from school. It seemed there was some sort of emergency, and Kelsi's presence was required. Kelsi couldn't help but be a bit nervous, she had never been called to the theater in an emergency situation. She had been there when such meetings were taking place, but never as an actual necessary attendee. She tried not to dwell on her racing heart and jittery stomach as they passed through the threshold of the building. The kids were definitely a welcoming distraction. Lauren and Matthew were already starting to shed their winter gear the moment warm heat brushed across their faces.

"We're here!" Matthew announced, his cheeks still rosy from the chill outside.

"Charlie?" Lauren posed in a question, looking for one of her most favorite people.

Kelsi wished she was sharing the excitement radiating off of Lauren and Matthew. All she felt at the present moment was foreboding...something was about to happen. She didn't know what, why or when exactly, but she could just sense that something was in the works. Her perceptions were heightened when she saw Charlie rushing into the theater's lobby to meet her.

"Kelsi, thank God you're here. I need to talk to you and it is of utmost importance." Charlie said, his usual calm demeanor taken over by nervous energy.

"What's "utmost" mean?" Lauren asked, tapping Charlie lightly on his forearm as she asked the question.

Kelsi didn't wait for Charlie's response before bending down to her little love's level.

"It means right now sweetheart." Kelsi said focusing first on Lauren, before shifting her gaze to Charlie. "What's wrong Charlie and what do you need?" Kelsi finished, hoping she wasn't going to regret her words.

Charlie wasted no time in getting right to the point.

"We don't have a pianist for "Mary Poppins", we need you to do it." He stated, knowing all the while this was asking a lot of his petite friend. Charlie was aware of the compositions and performances Kelsi had created in the past. That said, he also knew she had no desire to continue along those lines. When Kelsi had come to Chicago, she had made it clear she was not looking to be in the limelight. On the contrary, she wanted to be as far away from any kind of attention as possible. To Kelsi, Chicago equaled an escape from her previous life, a self-made safe haven of sorts. By asking what he was of Kelsi, Charlie was deeply aware of how much his request was tipping her nicely made sanctuary.

There was a time when this would have made Kelsi ecstatic, but now all she felt was nauseous. She couldn't do it. She hadn't performed in front of an audience in years. Kelsi considered her nice organized and simple life. True, Ryan showing up had thrown a wrench in the "simple" aspects of it, but she even felt like that was smoothing out. But this, performing, taking on that kind of commitment was scary. And then there was of course the whole scenario of working with Ryan even more than she was scheduled to before. Kelsi could freely admit, while she did feel like their friendship was slowly showing signs of reemerging, she wasn't quite ready to face some of the other _new_ feelings that seemed to be popping up. Was she really ready to have Ryan Evans so infused in her life? More to the point, did she even have a choice? At the end of the day, her friends needed her, and she was not one to let down those she cared about.

"That shouldn't be a problem." Kelsi started hesitantly, her blue eyes huge with an underlying fear. "I will have to figure out scheduling and talk things over with Sarah." Kelsi stated, gesturing towards Lauren and Matthew who were currently playing freeze tag in the lobby.

"We will work with you in every way possible Kels. And you know we love having the kids here. Plus, it's pretty evident they feel quite at home in the theater." Charlie accessed, watching as Lauren and Matthew knowingly ran around every nook and cranny present in the theater's spacious lobby. Charlie could still sense the apprehension that seemed to be bodily attached to his small friend. There was only one other concern Kelsi would have with the recent development change...Ryan.

"Kelsi, are you going to be okay, you know...working with Ryan?" Charlie asked bluntly, his brown eyes deepened with concern.

"I think it should be..." Kelsi paused, wondering what word could possibly sum up her feelings on that particular subject, "okay." She finished, wincing slightly over her choice. But in all honesty, she couldn't think of anything more appropriate. She really didn't know what to expect, her feelings for Ryan were currently a jumbled up mess. Kelsi unknowingly lifted her narrow fingers to her cheek, gently resting them where Ryan's lips had touched less than 24 hours before.

Charlie stood stock still watching Kelsi, knowing Ryan was the obvious reason for the far off look in her eyes and the soft blush that was soon gaining in color on her cheeks. Something had happened. Charlie didn't know what that said "something" was, but he knew there had been some sort of development between the two old friends.

"As your friend, your answer worries me. As your employer, I am in dire need of your skills, so I am going to have to bank that worry for the moment." Charlie stated, watching as Kelsi fought to bring her focus back from her daydream. "That said, you know Reilly and I are here if you need anything."

"I know that Charlie. And I am so grateful to have you two in my life." Kelsi said, openly moving in to hug her friend. "Now, why don't we go over scheduling, and make a rough draft that I can check over with Sarah." Kelsi finished.

"Sounds great, we can do that in the theater." Charlie said, before switching his focus to the kids. "C'mon guys, how do you feel about running around the theater?"

Lauren and Matthew quickly followed after Charlie. They loved coming to the theater, it had to be their very favorite place to play. Lauren skipped up ahead of Kelsi and her brother, readily linking her small hand with Charlie's.

"I wish you could have gone sledding with us yesterday Charlie, but we had fun without you. Ryan came and we-" The little girl was promptly cut off by a suddenly halted Charlie.

Matthew instantly rammed right into Charlie's stopped figure.

"Ouch, Charlie, move your tushy!" The little boy said, while he rubbed his forehead and then proceeded to spank Charlie's offending body part.

"Sorry buddy." Charlie said, sparing Matthew a quick apology before bringing his gaze to Kelsi's suddenly flushed face. She was blushing. Holy crap, something _had_ happened! When he had last seen Ryan and Kelsi, they looked like they didn't want to be within 10 feet of each other. Well, at least Kelsi sure looked that way, poor Ryan had just looked confused. "You went sledding...with Ryan?" Charlie asked astounded. "What the hell happened between Friday and today?"

Lauren pulled firmly on Charlie's sleeve, bringing his gaze down to hers. "You said _hell_ Charlie, we do not use that kind of language, thank you very much." Lauren said, her green eyes wide and chastising.

Charlie actually had the grace to blush as he was stared down by a pint sized red headed girl.

"Sorry sweetie, I guess I just got a little carried away." Charlie said, apologizing not only to Lauren, but to Kelsi too.

Lauren acknowledged Charlie's apology with a nod, before bringing her focus to her brother.

"Come on Matty, it looks like Charlie needs to talk privately to Kelsi. I don't want you to hear anymore possible _bad words_."

Matthew was fast to link his hand with his sister's. "Sure Lo. Charlie, no bad words during your privacy." Matthew made the parting comment as he raced after his sister into the theater.

"Well, I think you were properly disciplined." Kelsi said, not even trying to control the laughter that was rapidly escaping.

"That I was." Charlie acknowledged, before bringing the topic back to the one previously at hand. "So, what's going on with you and Ryan?"

"Charlie, if I knew, I would tell you." Kelsi said, rolling her eyes in exasperation.

Charlie's eye's narrowed, as he stared at his friend. "You're evading." He concluded.

Kelsi pushed a stray piece of hair behind her ear and heaved a light sigh. "Not necessarily on purpose. I just really don't know what's going on. We reached some sort of peace Friday night, not much of an amicable peace, but a peace all the same. And then his sister showed up at my apartment unannounced on Saturday, and surprisingly, we had a good talk. I had actually decided that I was going to talk to Ryan and clear the air." Kelsi paused, before adding under her breath, "not that I had deciphered exactly when we were going to have this said conversation. But I thought it was a positive step that I was even willing to have it."

"That is a very positive step" Charlie added. "Is that what you spoke about yesterday?"

Kelsi became suddenly interested in the floor, as she whispered her answer. "No."

Charlie had to strain to here her. "What did you say?"

Kelsi looked up, refusing to make direct eye contact with Charlie. "I said no." Kelsi looked up at her friend, trying to defend her reasons. "Monday was just...fun and wonderful and nice and perfect-"

Charlie stopped Kelsi's ramble by making confused waving gestures with his hands.

"Wait, wait, wait....WAIT. So, let me get this straight. You have yet to technically clear the air with Ryan?" Charlie asked in exasperation.

"Yes." Kelsi answered simply and meekly.

"And despite this fact, you still managed to have a...how did you put it? A fun and wonderful and perfect and nice-" Charlie was interrupted by Kelsi's correction.

"I said nice and then...perfect." She said, trying not to draw too much attention to the fact that she had yet to talk to Ryan about the past.

"Whatever. Kels, I am so happy that you managed to have a nice time with Ryan yesterday. I am even happier that you have finally decided to bite the bullet, and talk to him about the past. But I am a little worried that it seemed like you had the perfect opportunity to speak to him yesterday and you let that said opportunity pass you by." Charlie stated, looking at Kelsi in a questioning manner.

"I could give you a list of ready excuses about now Charlie." Kelsi started.

"But you're not going to." Charlie warned.

"No, I'm not." Kelsi began with a sigh. "I chickened out, pure and simple, I just couldn't do it. But I will. I know the conversation isn't going to be easy, but after last night I want, no, scratch that...I need to know what happened...on his end."

"And he needs to know what happened on your end too Little K." Charlie added softly.

"I know." Kelsi said with meaning.

Deciding that he had grilled her enough on the topic...for today, Charlie threw his arm around his small friend's shoulders as he led her into the theater. He smiled and pressed a light kiss to the top of her curly head when he felt her sink into the comfort of his embrace.

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Kelsi felt completely drained, as she made her way home later in the evening. Going over her new scheduling with Sarah had taken longer than she had been expecting. But at least it was done, and there shouldn't be any conflicts between her job as a nanny and her job as not just a rehearsal pianist, but professional pianist for the show as well. It didn't help that she had just missed her train, and was forced to wait in the blistering cold for the next one. Today had been another day full of shock and surprises. Kelsi let out a deeply pent up sigh, as she recognized that the last few days had been full of those said shocks and surprises. Kelsi took a moment to ponder whether she would choose to go back to her earlier life, if she could? Before Ryan had showed up and before she had been asked to be the professional pianist in charge of a Broadway in Chicago show? And the answer to this internal question....no. Even though she had experienced more stress and mood changes than she could _ever_ remember living through, she wouldn't change one aspect of the last couple of days. Truth be told, she had needed a change, she had become comfortable in the continuity of her life. And if she was going to be completely honest with herself, she had also used her new life as something of a safe zone, or crutch even. In the last two years, the life she had created for herself was, no doubt about it wonderful, but it was also filled with the comfort of a security blanket. There was no real risk or change. Her life had been about as stagnant as a statue. The only real sources of change coming from the kids' lives and her friends. _Change_...that word seemed to be popping up more and more within her thoughts. This could be because the said change was occurring, whether she was ready for it or not. Kelsi was somewhat surprised to realize she was actually craving the change. She didn't know what life or the fates had in store for her, but Kelsi was planning on buckling her metaphorical seatbelt and holding on for the ride.

_**So this chapter ended up having some "aha" moments for not just Kelsi, but Sharpay too. I am looking forward to writing the next chapter, I am thinking it will be a long overdue talk between Kelsi and Ryan. There is some major air that is need of clearing. On a side note, don't you just love the word "aha"? (Thanks Neysa!)**_


	14. Chapter 14

_**Hi you lovely readers. I have been on the most wonderful and relaxing vacation. Well, not really relaxing. I don't even know if New York City and relaxing belong in the same sentence. I guess you could say I have been on a much needed vacation. (With limited internet.) I hope all of you are doing well. Thanks, as always for taking the time to read and review. (Or just read, which ever you prefer.) Love, Jen**_

Even though Kelsi was familiar with the score of "Mary Poppins", being the rehearsal pianist and the performing pianist were two very different things. Kelsi soon found herself immersed in the music, memorizing not only the basic notes on the pages, but allowing herself to _feel_ the flowing melody as it wrapped around her like a familiar blanket. She delved as deep as possible into the story, consuming all levels and working to make the music coincide in the most efficient way possible. Kelsi didn't want to just be a replacement pianist, she wanted the show to run seamlessly. Her goal was to ensure that every audience member was able to not only visually witness the spectacle on stage, but live it as well. Those were the types of shows Kelsi liked to help create. The kind where the audience felt like they were a part of the show, where they started to tap out the beat to the music without even realizing they were moving...where they felt like they knew the characters personally and were not just witnessing a performance. Before she was even aware of it, Kelsi's previous fear over taking on her current position as pianist shifted to excitement. She had forgotten how it felt. What it was like to not only create with various artists, but to be there to personally watch it performed and to be a part of the grand and final presentation.

Kelsi was thorough, she did her homework. Over the following month, she read the original "Mary Poppins" books. She was so involved, it even carried in to her life with Lauren and Matthew. The kids ended up learning the music as well as she did. It was a usual occurrence for the trio to start singing the score into wooden spoons as they prepared meals. And the character of Mary Poppins was a usual make believe passenger in Matthew's various cars and trucks. Even though he continually pronounced her name as "Poppinlady." The fictional nanny also popped up in Lauren's frequent playing with Barbie dolls. Always showing up in the nick of time to take her Barbies to some exotic and mystical destination.

As busy as she was, Kelsi had not forgotten about Ryan. How could she, he was a huge part of the creative process. She knew she needed to talk to him and clear the air. Their past was like the huge metaphorical elephant in the room. They were both aware of its existence, and they were both scared to broach the subject. Because even though their imminent discussion was necessary, their present state of being around one another was wonderful. It was almost as if the difficult aspects of their past had never taken place..._almost_. The familiar magnetic force that seemed to pull them together hadn't let up. More often than not, people involved with the production knew if they were looking for Ryan they would most likely find him with Kelsi and vice versa.

Kelsi had almost convinced herself that maybe, just maybe the conversation wouldn't be necessary. It would certainly make things easier. Kelsi was so scared, no scratch that, terrified really, of starting up the discussion. The possibility that it didn't even need to take place was something of a comfort to her. Confrontations were not the petite woman's strong suit and she was not about to initiate a sure to be heated conversation, if it didn't even need to take place. She and Ryan seemed to be doing just fine without digging up the past. Oh, how wrong she was.

There is something to be said about emotional baggage. It is there for a reason...obviously. And as much as most people would love to just sweep it under the carpet and forget about it..."it", much like pesky dust, always comes back. And more times than not, when the baggage does come back, it is even bigger than before. Because all of that time it has been sitting there, in the back of the mind, just waiting...patiently even, for some small occurrence to set it off.

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Ryan walked into the theater on a surprisingly sunny Saturday afternoon. The weather seemed to match his mood perfectly. He had just spoken to Sharpay on the phone. Even though he certainly enjoyed having his own personal space, there was always a little ache in his heart when he wasn't able to see his sister. Probably had something to do with the twin thing. Ryan felt a genuine smile touch his lips as he remembered how sweetly Sharpay had cooed about Zeke on the phone, going on and on about their recent engagement. Leave it to his sister to be too impatient to wait for the proposal, somehow he wasn't surprised to hear that she was the one that blurted out "marry me" to Zeke last night over dinner. Never in his life, had he ever perceived he would think of his sister and the word "coo" in the same thought...together. But there was no other word for it. His sister was smitten...as crazy in love with Zeke as he was with her. (Which was saying a lot.) He was seriously looking forward to the next time he would see them both together again. Which according to Sharpay, was going to happen on the opening night of "Mary Poppins."

As Ryan walked through the threshold of the theater, he smiled and greeted the passersby. All the while his sharp blue eyes scanned the area, innately looking for a mass of curly brown hair connected to a tiny body. His gaze immediately fell upon Charlie and Reilly, as they huddled around a familiar figure. Not the figure Ryan had been searching for, though she too did have a curling mass of brown hair. A smile reached all the way to his eyes, as Ryan realized who had finally made it to Chicago.

"Hey there stranger." Ryan said as he hurried down the red carpeted aisle towards his old friend.

Martha's eyes instantly shifted from Charlie and Reilly to take in the handsome blond haired man walking towards her. God, she could see why Kelsi had been having such a tough time before. Martha didn't think it was possible, but Ryan seemed to be even more charismatic than she remembered....and she had just seen him a few months ago. She didn't need to guess what had brought on the change of demeanor. She had spoken to Kelsi enough to know the two had been spending a lot of time together. Even though Martha was happy, ecstatic even that her friends were moving on and attempting to resurrect their friendship, she couldn't help but worry. There were a lot of unresolved issues between her two friends. And as much as she recognized and even understood their desire to not confront the past, she couldn't help the feeling that an explosion of sorts was sure to erupt. There was too much pain, too many hurt feelings involved. This wasn't a situation that could just be forgotten. Martha made an effort to not focus on her worries, as she greeted her friend.

"Hey you. Long time no see. New York has been missing you." Martha said, as she wrapped Ryan in a tight embrace.

"New York may be missing me, but Chicago has certainly been agreeing with me." Ryan said in response, a huge grin spilling across his lips.

"I can see that." Martha said quietly, her big brown eyes searching Ryan's features and recognizing the truth in his statement. "It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out why." She finished with a cheeky smirk.

All Ryan could do was smile in response. And not just any smile, but a huge "it's great to be alive" grin.

Martha couldn't help but laugh in response, she hadn't seen Ryan this happy in.... Martha paused, trying to think of exactly _when_ she had ever seen Ryan this happy. Needless to say, it had been a long time, and it was quite overdue.

"So where is the girl who has caused that huge smile to be plastered on your face?" Martha asked, her eyes browsing the theater, looking for Kelsi's familiar figure.

"I was just looking for her, when my gaze caught your welcoming face instead." Ryan said in response.

"Well, why don't you keep on looking for her then. I have to get back to Charlie and Reilly. Maybe I can trouble you for some help with choreography later?" Martha asked, already walking back towards Charlie and Reilly.

"Without a doubt." Ryan stated easily. "And maybe you and Jason could join Kels and I for dinner tonight?"

Ryan may have been in a bubble of happiness, but he was present enough to catch the quick glimpse of concern that brushed across Martha's features. He didn't need to question that said worry, because he understood it. It was the same emotion he had been struggling to bank in the back of his mind for the last month. Things had been so great between him and Kelsi, he hadn't wanted to bring anything even remotely painful up. Ryan shook himself out of his rapid internal tangent when he heard Martha answering response.

"Sure Ryan, it would be good to catch up with both of you." Martha hoped her voice didn't carry the unsure tone she was certain was there. As she walked back to Charlie and Reilly, she recognized their identical looks of concern. Obviously she wasn't alone in her worry regarding Ryan and Kelsi. She was about to broach the matter with Reilly, when Charlie's voice interjected.

"We need to let them handle it ladies. As much as I know and even understand your need to help, you need to let them figure this out on their own." He said gently, wrapping his tanned arm around Reilly slight figure.

"I know, I just-" Martha started.

"Charlie's right Martha. We need to let them deal with the past. It is their story after all. When they are ready to confront the necessary issues, they will. And we will be here, as their friends, offering them all the support they need." Reilly stated, leaning into Charlie's embrace.

Martha let her gaze rest on Charlie and Reilly, really taking in not only their features, but the warmth that seemed to radiate off of them.

"I am so glad she had you. When she ran here, to Chicago, I was so worried." Martha took a moment to pause, as she felt the emotion filling her voice, making speech a bit more difficult. "I can't even begin to tell you both how grateful I am that Kelsi found you both." She finished softly, her rich brown eyes conveying as much gratitude as her spoken words.

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Ryan was oblivious to the conversation taking place between his friends, as he wandered downstairs, searching for Kelsi. The relationship the two of them were forming was amazing to him. It was similar to the friendship they shared before, but different on so many levels. There seemed to be an air of anticipation just hanging in the wind. It was as if both of them were waiting patiently for something to happen or a change to occur. There were added layers to their relationship now. Ryan grinned to himself as he realized, at least _he_ for one wanted there to be added layers. The difference on his end this time was that he wanted more from Kelsi...at least eventually. There had always been a sense of comfort and rightness when he was with her, that had not changed. With experience and enhanced wisdom, Ryan was able to interpret what those feelings meant. And in Kelsi's case, it equaled something greater than simply friendship.

Ryan felt the music before he even heard it. It was like that between him and Kelsi. A part of his inner workings seemed to perceive her before she even came into his vision. As Ryan listened to the familiar cords of "Anything Can Happen", he couldn't help but feel fueled by the song. True, he and Kelsi had a long way to go and a lot of unfinished business to work out. But despite these facts, Ryan felt an emotion so genuine and real fill up his very being, he felt hope. For the first time since his plane landed in Chicago, he actually felt hope. Perhaps it wasn't too late for him and Kelsi.

As he turned the final corner leading to the music room, Ryan's breath caught. Her hair had grown over the last month, just a tad, but Ryan noticed. He recognized every intricate detail in regards to Kelsi. The brown curling mass hung in rioting waves down her back. It was amazing how small she was in comparison to the grand piano. Her little body seemed almost dwarfed by the giant instrument. But size didn't matter when it came to learning and owning the knowledge of a musical instrument. When Kelsi sat at the piano, she became one with the sleek black surface. Her whole being was connected to the music.

Kelsi was so lost in the music, she didn't even sense Ryan's arrival. Well, that wasn't altogether true. She felt the familiar prickling sensation on the very back of her neck, but just chalked that up to the music flowing through her veins. They were actually quite similar, the effects that took over her body concerning both music and Ryan. Which made absolute sense, seeing as both were the loves of her life. That was a somewhat new revelation Kelsi had discovered in the last month...she was in love with Ryan. She honestly didn't know if she had ever stopped loving him, she had more just forgotten about it for a while. Well, as much as she had been able to forget about something like that. Perhaps a more accurate summation would be she had pushed the feelings away for a while, unable to deal or confront them. But spending time with Ryan had brought all of those tumbling feelings to the forefront of her mind. Making it impossible for Kelsi to believe she had actually been able to compartmentalize them in the first place. That was probably because this time the emotions were greater, bigger...grander even. The love she had previously felt for Ryan was that of a girl, a first love...it was so innocent. The love she felt now was the same in some respects, there was still an innocent quality attached to it. But this was the love a woman feels for a man. It was an all-encompassing feeling that stayed with her upon every hour. An emotion that had grabbed a hold of her and was too strong to ever be let go, forgotten or pushed away.

Kelsi was still unsure of how she felt about all of these new realizations. True, there was a wonderful level of excitement to it all. But there was also a whole new level of fear and vulnerability. Ryan literally held her heart in his hands. And that was scary as all hell to the petite musician. Because of these feelings, Kelsi knew the time had come to have that imminent discussion. She had felt the time approaching for a while now. It seemed to form on the tip of her tongue every time she was around him; ready at any second to burst from her lips. She had so many questions. Questions she had not wanted to face before, but now, she was ready. She needed to know why Ryan had chosen Amanda over her...even if the conversation was painful. (Which more likely than not, it was sure to be.) Kelsi couldn't help but laugh at the irony of her situation. Was she really the same girl that only a month ago was scared to death of change? Kelsi pondered this thought for a moment, still unaware of the man who watched her from the doorway. She paused in her playing to push a wayward curl back behind her ear, as the answer to her internal question came to her. Yes, she was definitely still fearful, the nauseous feeling in her stomach was evidence of that. But Kelsi also knew Ryan was worth it. Even if the answers weren't the ones she wanted, at least she would have _answers_. And she had a feeling Ryan craved the peace of mind the conversation would conclude with as much as she did.

And then she heard him. The sound was so slight really, just the gentle shuffle of his pant legs rubbing against each other. But that was all it took. Without even turning around, she knew he was there...present in the room with her.

"How long have you been there?" Kelsi asked, her back still to Ryan, as she rested her elbows on the piano keys, causing a light jumbled sound from the huge instrument.

"A while." Ryan stated simply.

Kelsi turned around, a wistful smile upon her lips, her breath catching naturally as she took in the sight of him. Would her senses ever get used to that...the shock that seemed to drive through her system upon his very appearance. He looked beautiful, but then, he always looked beautiful. It was more a rarity for Ryan to look _less_ than perfect. He had been growing his blond hair out a bit, in order to add to the scruffy appearance of the character he was soon to be portraying. Surprisingly, (or maybe not so) his long hair agreed with him. It added a boyish charm to his matured features, giving him a sense of free-spiritedness. As his sky blue eyes bore into hers', a heat seemed to engulf her small frame. Kelsi didn't need a mirror to recognize the signs of a blush coming on.

Almost instantly, Kelsi started to second guess her decision to discuss the past with Ryan. Everything had become pretty close to perfect, did she really want to chance messing it up? Was it worth it?

Ryan noticed the second Kelsi's easy mood seemed to shift. Her brow furrowed with worry and her blue eyes went cloudy behind her glasses. She used both of her hands to push her hair unassumingly behind her ears...one of her favorite nervous gestures. He wasn't even about to try to guess what the issue was. Having a twin sister had taught him long ago reading a woman's mind was next to impossible. He gracefully walked towards Kelsi, taking no time at all in eliminating the space separating them.

"May I?" Ryan asked, gesturing towards the piano bench.

"Of course." She answered, still have troubles remaining eye contact.

The moment Ryan sat down on the bench, Kelsi's body seemed to become an electrical current. It was as if every cell in her body was aware of him. Aware of his every movement, glance, smell..._everything_. Her breaths started coming out in gasps, as she struggled to remain normal. But really, how was she expected to be _normal_ when the only man she had ever loved was sitting so closely beside her. Kelsi quickly stole a glance at Ryan, her eyes immediately captivated by his penetrating gaze.

Ryan could relate to all of the emotions traveling through Kelsi's body, because he was feeling them too. They had seemed to increase not only in occurrence, but also strength throughout the last month. Every single moment he found himself with the small composer, it was as if little by little barriers and walls were crumbling by their own accord. Ryan was close enough to her now to recognize the worry along with anticipation encompassing the small girl's eyes. But there was something else there too...fear. She was afraid, but of what? Ryan would never do anything to hurt her or cause her fear. Ryan saw the falsehood in that internal statement, the moment the thought was released. He may be able to make that statement with a clear conscious now, but there was a time when that wasn't the case. He had caused the woman sitting next to him a great deal of pain and fear before...and had felt her painful response to his actions in return. As he really took in Kelsi's features, memorizing and studying them, he realized the time had come. They needed to talk...about that night.

"Things are changing." He started, peering deeply into Kelsi's eyes.

Kelsi felt as if he was gazing into her very soul, that's how intense his gaze was. She knew the conversation was starting, her innate knowledge of Ryan had not changed and she recognized the signs of an impending discussion in the works. And wasn't it appropriate that it would happen in a music room. It truly was like coming full circle, the conversation concluding within the same setting it had began. Different cities of course, but the space was the same. They were surrounded by the very instruments and environment that put both of them most at ease.

"I know." Kelsi answered softly, thinking of how many areas in her life Ryan's statement pertained to.

"We're friends again, aren't we?" Ryan said gently, as if realizing the fact for the first time.

"I think we are...not quite the same as before...but still...friends." Kelsi answered, turning to gaze at the piano keys, as she struggled to put her answer into words. God, it was a lot easier for her to have these difficult conversations in her head, she seemed to be much more coherent when she spoke to herself in her mind.

Ryan gently placed his finger under Kelsi's slight chin, bringing her gaze back to his.

"We have a lot to discuss," Ryan paused, as if bracing himself for the next part of his sentence, "like the stuff that happened before you left."

There it was, out in the open. Ryan's breath seemed to whoosh out in a gust, as he realized how nervous he was to broach the subject.

Kelsi felt like her body was traveling up the steep incline of a roller coaster, as she braced herself for the metaphorical fall.

"I'm ready." She said, hoping her voice didn't come out in the squeak it sounded like. Was now a good time to realize, she hated roller coasters?

Ryan didn't waste any time delving right into the matter.

"Why'd you run Kels? I kept chasing you and calling your name and you just...ran. Why?" The pain from that night started to creep back into Ryan's eyes, as he relived the event.

Kelsi's lips started to tremble, and she felt the familiar sting of tears barely held at bay...

"I didn't know what else to do." Kelsi started, as the first tear found it's way down her smooth cheek. "I was so scared to tell you how I felt, that I lov...that I love..." Kelsi took a deep breath, as the words seemed to get lost in her throat. "That I loved you." Gasping breaths escaped her body and thousands of butterflies seemed to be in full swing in her stomach, the moment the words burst out from her lips. She could have told him that she still loved him...that she had never really stopped, but she didn't think she was ready to handle that one yet.

If she hadn't been so wrapped up in her own tumbling emotions, Kelsi probably would have laughed at the expression on Ryan's face...it really was priceless.

Ryan sat stock still, staring at Kelsi, his mouth hanging open like a guppy. He had known she liked him, but loved him. I mean sure, he had heard that prediction from certain friends and family, but to hear it come from the source's mouth was...different, more real on so many differing levels. His heart was beating in such a rapid tempo, it felt like it was ready to burst right out of his chest. Kelsi _had_ loved him...she told him so herself. But did she still? Could she again?

"You _loved_ me." The words tumbled out of Ryan's mouth, making a statement as opposed to asking a question.

The surprise she saw enveloping Ryan's face and the way he said his last statement, in almost an unbelievable way was like a shock to Kelsi's system. All of the sudden all of those past emotions...all of the pain came barreling to the surface.

"Of course I loved you Ryan, we spent almost every waking moment together, you were my very best friend. You were kind and gentle and nurturing...seriously, how was I supposed to _not_ fall in love with you?" Kelsi took a breath, before trudging on, getting lost in the memory on her way. "And then...then I finally gained the courage to tell you how I felt. And you knew it was coming...I know you did." Kelsi looked at Ryan, while she hurtled that accusation. "I saw the panic written all over your face, you knew I was getting ready to change the game...change our relationship."

"I was scared. You had time to get used to the idea, to let it sit in your mind for a while. I had no time, you were just posing questions to me, without giving me any real time to concentrate." Ryan stood up from the piano bench. Running fingers through his blond hair in frustration. This was not how he wanted the conversation to go. They were supposed to stay rational...

"You didn't feel the same way Ryan, simple as that." Kelsi retorted, taking a deep breath to calm the anger that had unwillingly risen to the surface. "I mean, you were engaged...which brings us to a whole new subject." Kelsi muttered the last bit under her breath.

Ryan spun around to stare at Kelsi, almost enraged by her comment. He rushed over to kneel beside the piano bench, invading her personal space.

"How do you know what I felt Kelsi? You didn't stick around long enough to find out." He whispered, confronting her toe to toe.

Kelsi lurched back at his comment, feeling as though she had just been kicked in the gut.

"Ouch." She whispered.

Ryan looked down for a moment, the last thing he wanted to do was hurt her. This was getting a little bit out of control. Taking a steadying breath, he brought his _calm_ blue eyes back to hers.

"I'm sorry. I am so sorry, that was a low blow."

A new tear fell down Kelsi's cheek as she looked at Ryan.

"But it was true. That's why it hurt so much, it was the truth. I did run and that...that...wasn't the right thing to do. I-I see that now and...and I'm sorry. I am so sorry." Kelsi choked out, struggling to be coherent through the tears that were presently flooding her vision.

Ryan didn't even think about his action, he just reacted, as he took Kelsi into his arms. This was not a gentle embrace, this was a desperate one. Both parties involved needed the comfort gained. As the tears flowed on both ends, the anger seemed to evaporate. All of the pent up emotions were let out, everything _both _of them had been holding onto for so long was released. They were finally allowing themselves to heal.

"I don't know what I would have said or done had you not run Kels. I wish I could give you a better answer, but I honestly don't know..." Ryan trailed off, his face still buried in Kelsi's curls.

Kelsi lifted her head to look at Ryan, a gentle smile fell upon her lips.

"That's okay Ry." She said softly and with meaning, using her palm to wipe away remaining tears.

"I can tell you how I felt after you left though." Ryan said gently, pulling her hands into her lap and using his own fingertips to catch all of her tears. "I felt broken, like a piece of me was missing...an integral piece, the piece I was most reliant on."

"That's how I felt too." Kelsi said, surprise evident in her tone.

Ryan smiled at Kelsi, taking a moment to let his hand revel in the smoothness of her cheek as he continued on.

"For a while, it seemed I was in some sort of daze. I couldn't even fully function like myself, and I didn't want to go anywhere near a piano." Ryan paused, as painful as the memories were, they were cushioned by the fact that he was here with Kelsi reliving them together. "I almost went after you."

Kelsi gripped Ryan's forearms tightly at that revelation.

"What?" She whispered.

"I almost went after you. But I just figured, if you could just walk away, you obviously weren't hurting the way I was. In short, I chickened out....and that was my mistake." Ryan said, the apology and disappointment evident in his features, as he looked away.

"It looks like we both made a ton of mistakes." Kelsi answered. And then it was her turn to grasp Ryan's attention. She gently reached her hands out to make contact with his face, she felt the bristly texture of his jaw, indicating he was in need of a shave. "And I was hurting Ryan, in exactly the same way you were. My way of mourning just wasn't healthy. I ran...escaped really. But you were always there. Whenever I would almost convince myself...and I was pretty good at convincing myself, that I was over you, something would happen or I would see something that immediately reminded me of you."

"You never got over me?" Ryan questioned, his gaze alight with awe.

A becoming blush rushed Kelsi's features, as she recognized her slip. Her mind raced through ways to evade this...she didn't know if she was ready. And then she looked at him...really looked at him. And in his gaze, she saw the mirror of her own. And that's when it flooded her...the hope. The hope seemed to start as a steady trickle, before it erupted into a tumbling waterfall.

"No, I never did. I thought I did, but then you came back and....and it was so confusing. It's still confusing." Kelsi said with a smile.

Ryan reached his hands behind Kelsi's head, letting her silky curls bath is fingers and forearms. It suddenly became quite essential that he taste her. He needed, he craved the feeling of his lips against hers.

Kelsi saw him inching closer and closer...it wasn't like he had a bunch of space to work with. And she wanted the contact, she wanted the contact so badly. But...there was one more thing that needed to be cleared up before she gave into that need.

"Amanda." The name burst from her lips just as Ryan was a half inch away.

He stumbled back, feeling as if he had just been doused with cold water. Not just cold water, but frigid water.

"I need to know why you married her." Kelsi started. "I need to understand, before...before we..."

Ryan cut her off with a soft kiss to her cheek...almost hitting the corner of her lips.

"I know." He stated simply. As much as he wanted to remain in his position on the floor, Ryan knew he needed to be sitting down when he spoke of Amanda. She wasn't an easy topic for him. He moved back to his previous seat on the piano bench. Ryan gazed down at his thigh so close to Kelsi's, gaining comfort from her nearness. Taking a deep breath, Ryan felt like he was the king of deep breaths today, he got ready to discuss one of the biggest mistakes he had ever made. "Remember when I told you I was barely functioning and in my own bubble after you left?" Ryan started.

"Yes." Kelsi answered, laying her hand over Ryan's.

Ryan grasped her hand, lacing his fingers through hers. "Well, Amanda took advantage of that fact and I let her. She seemed to know that there was something between us. Even before we had fully figured it out or discussed it. She was always insecure in regards to you and our friendship."

Kelsi interrupted Ryan with a disbelieving snort.

"She was insecure because of me? Come on Ry."

Ryan looked at Kelsi, surprise evident in his features. "She saw what you don't see Kels. You are beautiful...inside and out. Beauty and warmth seem to radiate from your very person. To someone like Amanda, that is a threat, because she will never be able to personify beauty like you do."

Kelsi's mouth was hanging open in shock. She had never heard anyone describe her like that before. She wasn't sure if that even _was_ her.

"Oh." She muttered, not able to put any further words together.

"She knew there was always going to be a portion of my heart that was yours and nobody else's. And that scared her, even though she would contradict that heavily...you..._us, _we scared her. So, she did the only thing she could do, she went into planning our wedding double time. Every time I would tell her that I didn't think I was ready, or that I didn't think that was a good idea, she would start crying or debating with me. And long story short, I allowed her to convince me that marrying her was the right thing to do. I didn't want to disappoint our various family members and friends...well, mainly her friends. And I was still in such a state of confusion concerning us. Confusion and depression. The idea that there was something from before...from before that whole spectacle at the graduation party was a comfort to me. The idea that I could go back to the way things were before my mind became a mass of confusion." Ryan took a deep breath, leveling his gaze on Kelsi. "So I married her, and it was wrong. The biggest mistake I made...after letting you go." Now here came the hard part. Ryan prepared himself, getting ready for Kelsi's rejection. "I will understand if this changes things Kelsi. I wish I could tell you I was kidnapped, drugged and dragged to the alter, but that's not the case. I went willingly and I went through with the marriage, even though I knew it wasn't right. The marriage didn't last long. I was still so hung up on you....and she knew that, probably before I did, and well, we parted ways...and not peacefully." Ryan looked at his fingers as he finished his explanation, too nervous to actually look at Kelsi.

"Ryan?" Kelsi said softly, drawing his gaze to hers. "We are all human and we make mistakes. That is a part of human nature. It would be great if life were a Disney movie and everyone was perfect, but we're not and it's not. Lord knows, I have made my grand fair share of mistakes. I would hope if you can forgive me mine, I can forgive you yours. It may hurt my heart a bit to hear your story, but I can understand it, and see where you may have been coming from." Kelsi put her hands on both sides of Ryan's face, blue eyes meeting blue eyes. "And I am proud of you. I am proud of you for admitting your mistake and taking responsibility for it." At Kelsi's first mention of pride, tears started to trail down Ryan's cheeks. Kelsi slowly moved closer to Ryan, using her lips to kiss the tears away, one by one. "I am proud of you for remedying your situation when you realized something was wrong, that takes great strength Ry. I am proud of you for learning from your mistakes, and using a difficult time to further your own self in a positive manner. And I am proud to be your friend Ryan Evans."

And with that final comment, Kelsi's lips met Ryan's. And this kiss was nothing like the first kiss they experienced. This one was actually the exact opposite. Their bodies seemed to mold together, as if by natural accord. Both of their breaths caught as their lips met. It was as if they were both floating on clouds, surrounded by peace and perfection. This kiss was searching and healing and....loving.

_**I am back from vacation. Yay! Hopefully this chapter was worth the wait. It took me a while to write and I am very happy with it...I hope you all are too. **_


	15. Chapter 15

_**I am glad the last chapter was so well received. I shared with the "real" Lauren and Matty that I was writing a story and using them for inspiration. They were thrilled, especially Lauren, she actually reviewed. Not that she was able to read the story, but when she found out that other people were and they could leave messages....well, she isn't one to be left out. You should check it out...it's priceless...**_

Kelsi pulled back from Ryan slowly, her blue eyes still closed, disbelief coursing through her veins. Had she actually just kissed him? Was that what that was? Because she had been kissed before, and what she had just felt, was way beyond any mere kiss she had experienced.

Ryan opened his eyes, and had to actually work to stifle the laugh that threatened to erupt. Kelsi was sitting there, eyes closed, with the most bemused expression on her face. She looked as if he could push her right over with a gentle tap of his finger.

"Kels...are you alright?" Ryan asked softly.

Kelsi opened her eyes, blinking them rapidly as she worked to assess the situation.

"You kissed me."

The words tumbled from her mouth in a blunt rush, before she even really took the time to think about what she was saying. God, why did she always do that...couldn't she just once think before she spoke. Of course he kissed her...obviously...what an asinine thing to say. Kelsi couldn't help but wish she could come up with some witty remark, instead of painfully stating the obvious. Her inner rambling abuse was cut short by Ryan's answer.

Ryan thought Kelsi was adorable. He loved how her thoughts automatically verbalized themselves. That was one of his most favorite things about her...her innocent and honest responses. Ryan quickly brought himself back to the present, wasting no time in responding to Kelsi's previous statement.

"I am going to be kissing you quite often Kels."

"You are?" Kelsi's eyes widened, taking up a huge portion of her face. The question came out in a whisper, as her skin tone deepened to a becoming pink.

"Oh yes." Ryan said, as he buried his hands in her curls, drawing her mouth closer to his own. "Right now in fact."

"But we just did...I mean...um, before...we...you know...k-kissed...before...Oh God." Kelsi forgot all about appearances as she started to take in deep calming breaths.

"Kelsi?" Ryan said, his face so close she could see the varying shades of blue and gray in his eyes.

"Yes Ryan." She managed to gasp out.

"Shhhhh." He whispered.

And then he kissed her...again...and again....still kissing. Kelsi felt like she had reached heaven. Seriously, she couldn't imagine a moment feeling more like what she imagined heaven must feel like. Ryan's lips on hers, moving in perfect accord was unlike anything she had ever experienced...had ever thought of experiencing. There was such a feeling of harmony and rightness. They just...fit.

Ryan was the one that pulled back this time, gasping for breath. He had never felt this way before. It was as if thousands of little electric currents were all charged and running through each and every vein. His body and mind were so in touch with hers, as if they were the same unit. Ryan had heard the term "chemistry" uttered more times than he could count. But until this moment, he didn't know what it meant.

Kelsi could only assume she and Ryan were feeling pretty close, if not identical responses. All of these feelings and emotions...they were actually quite scary. Not in a "I need to run away" sense. Lord knows, she had already done enough of that. More in a "you are the missing piece" sense. And in all honesty, that scared the hell out of Kelsi.

"This is scary." Kelsi said softly, her arms still around Ryan, her head nestled against his strong chest.

"I know." Ryan agreed.

"I'm not running though." Kelsi reassured.

Ryan gently lifted Kelsi's head off his chest, bringing her gaze to his.

"Neither am I." He said meaningfully.

Kelsi's lips trembled slightly, as a wave of comfort flowed through her at Ryan's words.

"Then I guess we'll just have to get used to it...all of these feelings." She said with a light smile.

"I guess we will." Ryan said, placing a soft kiss upon her forehead and letting his lips rest there while he look in the vanilla scent of her shampoo.

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That's how Martha found them, wrapped around one another in a desperate embrace. She couldn't hear what they were saying. And she really didn't want to, whatever it was, it was private, between the two of them alone. Martha could feel the wetness trailing down her cheeks, she let it go unheeded. She had waited for such a long time for this. Ryan and Kelsi were two of her best friends. It had been so hard to watch them suffering, and knowing the only remedy was one another. She had also known this wasn't something she could fix for them. They had to do it on their own. Martha couldn't stop the smirk that contested that last thought. Okay, so maybe she may have made some necessary pushes. Like making sure "Mary Poppins" was moving to Chicago and was sure to be played in the theater where Kelsi worked. Martha liked to think she just set up the situation though, all of the work was accomplished by the couple presently lost in their own little world.

She really hated to interrupt them. But she knew if she didn't do it, strangers would be the ones to break up the private party. Knowing Kelsi, she would much rather be embarrassed in front of Martha as opposed to co-workers. With this thought firmly in mind, she gave the door frame a light knock. Martha didn't even attempt to hide her smile, when Ryan and Kelsi quickly turned their heads in her direction, both of them wearing equally guilty expressions.

"It's okay, it's just me." Martha stated softly. "No one will ever know you two weren't actually working on the musical down here."

"Thanks Mar." Kelsi said, wishing she wasn't feeling the reliable heat rushing towards her face. It was only Martha, her best friend. One would think she could at least refrain from blushing while in the company of her close friend....no such luck.

"Just wanted to let you know that rehearsal is getting ready to start. I figured it was better for me to find you than some random person." Martha explained.

"Thanks Martha, we both really appreciate that." Ryan mentioned.

"Sooooo?" Martha started.

Ryan and Kelsi both looked at their friend expectantly, knowing she was dying to know what was going on and all specifics involved.

"So?" Ryan questioned back.

Kelsi was a lot more lenient on her friend. After gathering her music together, she walked towards her friend, a pretty blush still very evident on her cheeks.

"I'll tell you everything later tonight." Kelsi whispered, hoping only Martha heard her quiet admission.

"I can still hear you." Ryan said simply.

Kelsi gave her friend a slightly panicked expression, before instantly being put at ease by Ryan's strong arm around her waist.

"Come on Kels, let's head upstairs." Ryan said, placing a lingering kiss to the small girl's temple.

"You certainly will be telling me everything tonight." Martha interjected, loving the affectionate play she was witnessing between her two friends.

Her comment was met instantly by Ryan's laughter and Kelsi's heightened blush.

Martha couldn't help but feel like things were exactly how they were supposed to be.

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Later that evening Kelsi found herself sitting around a dinner table with Jason, Martha and Ryan. As she looked around the confines of the table, her steady gaze taking in her friends and the animated conversation they were currently absorbed in, Kelsi could not seem to shake the feeling of unusual. And not pertaining to Jason and Martha, it wasn't a differing occurrence for her to find herself sitting down to dinner at their house. Whenever she was in New York, she stayed with them. Not that she found herself in New York often, she tended to steer clear due to the fact that Ryan happened to also reside there.

Which brought her present situation full circle. She was having a cozy dinner with not just Jason and Martha, but Ryan too. Kelsi couldn't stop herself from stealing glancing at her blond companion. This was the sort of setting she had always pictured and dreamed about with Ryan, an intimate dinner with friends. And she had given up on it, deemed it an impossibility...until now. Because now...at this very moment, it was happening. Kelsi shook her head slightly as she blinked her blue bespectacled eyes somewhat rapidly, not that she was currently letting herself _live_ it. She was too wrapped up in the actuality of it all. A huge sparkling smile fell across her features as she watched Ryan, Martha and Jason debate about....well, actually, she wasn't even sure what they were presently debating. And frankly, she didn't even care. The only thing Kelsi could coherently wrap her mind around was that she was here...with Ryan, and that his hand was currently under the table wrapped around her own. Right now, at that exact moment, Kelsi's life was perfect.

Taking a break from his current debate over the importance of theater verses motion pictures, Ryan let his gaze rest upon Kelsi. He attempted to stifle a grin when he recognized the bemused expression on the petite woman's face. Kelsi had seemed to be wearing that same exact expression for most of the day. And Ryan couldn't fault her that, because it matched his mood perfectly. Never in his wildest imaginings, had Ryan ever pictured his life feeling this right. Hell, he didn't even know this feeling existed. It was as if euphoria had been gift wrapped and delivered right to his door. His hand naturally tightened around Kelsi's as this thought entered his mind, bringing her bewildered gaze up to his. God, she was beautiful. Her eyes were like endless pools of sapphire, her curls a wild riot of texture and her skin...oh, those blushes. His eyes smiled into hers as he witnessed the bloom of one of those said blushes. It was almost inconceivable to Ryan that he had not noticed all of these little eccentricities regarding Kelsi before. They were so apparent, right before his eyes really. Why hadn't he seen them? A gentle breath escaped Ryan as he realized maybe he wasn't supposed to. Maybe, just maybe _now _was their time.

Martha and Jason shared a knowing look as they watched the wordless conversation going on between their two friends. Maybe it wasn't as much a conversation per see, as it was a reveling in one another. Because that seemed to explain precisely what was occurring. Kelsi and Ryan were so wrapped up in each other, they were pretty much oblivious to everything else going on around them.

"We could probably just keep talking right now and they wouldn't even notice." Jason softly observed to his wife, verbally sharing her internal thoughts.

"They are so wrapped up in one another, it's almost as if they are in their own personal little bubble." Martha whispered under her breath.

Jason took in what Martha said, letting his brown eyes travel over her familiar features.

"I can definitely relate to that." He said gently, love completely evident in his expression.

Martha surprisingly turned towards her husband. They had been together for a while now, sometimes it was easy to get caught up in the repetition of it all. And then...then her husband would say something like _that_, and she would fall in love with him to an even deeper capacity.

"I love you Jase." Martha said softly, letting her hand travel up his stubbly cheek.

"I know you do." He whispered playfully, earning a soft pat on his shoulder from his wife. "Oh, did I mention that I love you too? Because I do, more than anything."

"Would you two like us to leave you alone?" Ryan interjected, interrupting the two just as they were leaning in for a kiss.

Now it was Martha's turn to blush, as she realized she and Jason were practically making a sequel to the little story Ryan and Kelsi had been previously putting on. She took a calming breath, as she shared in the laughter currently circling around the table.

"No, you can stay." Martha stated simply. "As long as you don't mind passing the egg rolls this way?" She countered.

And just like that, the two couples easily fell right back into the dinner date routine, as they passed second helpings of delivered Chinese food around the table.

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Kelsi couldn't seem to stop looking at her hand, it was currently being held by Ryan's, their fingers intertwined to such a degree it was impossible to tell where the limbs began and ended. It had been a magical night, almost dreamlike. To think, just that morning she had woken up to just an ordinary day. And now, it was ending in the most extraordinary way. She was with Ryan. Kelsi paused for a moment, as she let that thought fester a bit. Well, she thought she was with Ryan, they had kissed and admitted they had feelings for one another...and they had kissed. Kelsi tried to remember what she was previously thinking about, as thoughts of their kisses filled her mind. As far as Kelsi was concerned, they were together, as in a couple. She wasn't the type to just randomly kiss people and then have nothing come of it. It wasn't like she was some sort of kissing bandit. But was Ryan? All of the sudden Kelsi felt a panic enter her body as she quietly contemplated how Ryan was viewing their newfound relationship...or if he was viewing it as anything at all. Kelsi stole a glance at the man in question, and her eyes met his. His simple look seemed to peer right into her soul, She was grateful for the welcoming dusk as she felt yet another blush grace her cheeks.

Ryan stared at Kelsi, in all honesty, he felt like he could just keep staring. For the first time since stepping foot in Chicago, Ryan didn't feel the cold. He felt excitement, rejuvenation and joyful...pretty much the antitheses of cold. Despite the wonderful mood, Ryan could tell Kelsi was bothered by something. She still seemed happy, but there was something there, lying under the surface. Knowing Kelsi, she would probably just ignore whatever was bothering her. Worried that it may concern him, Ryan broached the subject.

"Kels, is everything okay?" Ryan asked, as he continued the steady pace towards the train.

Staggered by Ryan's intuition, Kelsi came to a complete stop, jolting Ryan in the process.

"Wh-what makes you think that?" Kelsi asked, literally wincing at her response. Here Ryan had just opened the perfect window of opportunity for Kelsi to share her questions regarding their status and she had completely chickened out. If you could even call it that. Generally a person had to give themselves enough time to actually think about the question before chickening out. Kelsi had not even considered, she just answered before thinking. Kelsi was briefly aware that Ryan was talking to her, she just couldn't seem to turn the volume down on her mind enough to hear him. Damn her blasted inner rambling...sometimes it was so inconvenient.

"Kels?" Ryan started, pausing again to question the small composer. "Kels?" Ryan tried, waving his gloved hand in front of her face, attempting to get her attention.

That_ finally _offered Kelsi the necessary distraction.

"Were you saying something?" She asked, flustered.

Ryan could not even attempt to hide the great belly laugh that encompassed his body.

"God, I missed you. Every single thing about you. From the way your eyes grow two times their normal size when you are surprised to the way you can have complete conversations in your mind." Ryan said sweetly, placing a chaste kiss upon Kelsi's nose.

A tell-tale blush continued to ride Kelsi's features as she smiled shyly at Ryan.

"I missed you too Ry." Kelsi began, quickly bringing herself back to topic. "Now, what were you saying before?"

"I was just wondering if you were alright? You seemed...worried or confused for a moment there." Ryan said, repeating what he was trying to convey before.

Kelsi looked down at the ice covered sidewalk, suddenly becoming very interested in the cracks visible through the transparent sheen of frozen moisture. It was true, she was worrying. Kelsi just wasn't certain she wanted to share her worries with Ryan. The day had been lovely, she didn't want to do or say anything that could chance ruining it.

"You aren't going to ruin the day Kels...you can speak your mind with me. I know we haven't been close for a while, but I would hope you would know you can still share your thoughts freely with me." Ryan said softly, watching Kelsi as she continued to stare at the ground.

Kelsi's head came up rapidly at Ryan's comment. How did he do that? How could he manage to know exactly what she was thinking without her even uttering a word. Kelsi's glove covered hands came to rest on her narrow hips as she studied him. She couldn't mask the giggle that erupted from her lungs as she shook her head at Ryan, staring in wonder.

"So, that hasn't changed." Kelsi stated simply, letting the comment hang in the wind, waiting to be caught.

"What hasn't changed?" Ryan asked, curious. Kelsi's mood had changed so quickly, as if someone had flipped a switch. She went from shy and guarded to laughing and open.

"Your ability to read my mind." Kelsi said in a half-joking manner.

"Ah-ha...so I was right. You are worried over something and you were scared to share for fear of disrupting the mood we have created?" Ryan surmised, taking Kelsi's arm to place in the crook of his, as he continued to walk them towards the train platform.

"True." Kelsi supplied.

Ryan patiently waited, knowing Kelsi was sure to fill him in at any moment. He continued to wait for another block, guessing she was attempting to gather her thoughts together. As they neared the train platform and she still held her silence, Ryan decided to steal a glance at the woman by his side. And she looked....fine, like she hadn't a care in the world. Ryan shook his head slightly, as he attempted to understand exactly what was going on here. Honestly, _women_, sometimes he felt there were more differences between them aside from basic gender specifics.

"_Well_?" Ryan asked Kelsi expectantly, as they headed up the platform stairs. "Are you going to tell me what's on your mind?"

Kelsi knew she was getting to him a little, and truth be told, she kind of liked teasing him. Served him right for being able to read her mind. How was she expected to save any thoughts for herself, when he was so keen on working his sixth sense?

"I plan on telling you, as soon as we are sitting on the train...be patient." Kelsi supplied easily.

"Fair enough." Ryan agreed. "You do know, I am walking you to your apartment?"

Kelsi turned to look at Ryan in exasperation, silenced from offering any returning comment by the rushing train. She waited until they were firmly secure in their seats before turning to Ryan.

"That's ridiculous. Your stop is two before mine. What are you going to do, drop me off and then take the train back in the direction we just came from?" She asked, her lips parted slightly as she awaited his answer.

"That is exactly what I plan on doing." Ryan stated.

Kelsi started to say something and was firmly silenced with a kiss. She felt the immediate heat, not from the pumping warming system in the train, but from Ryan's ready lips. She let her lips linger on Ryan's a moment, before remembering the point she was trying to make. She started to speak again, and was promptly kissed..._again_. This time Ryan let his lips wander to her cheek and temple. Kelsi's breath started to come out in sporadic bursts, as Ryan bestowed light kisses comparable to butterfly wings all over her face.

"I know what you're doing." Kelsi said weakly.

"And what's that?" Ryan asked, his own breath faltering.

"You are trying to distract me." Kelsi responded.

"Is it working?" Ryan questioned, his lips coming to rest softly against her lips.

"Oh....yes." She said breathlessly, before letting her lips get taken in a mind-blowing kiss.

Ryan pulled away slowly, a bit surprised he had lost himself so thoroughly in the kiss. He had started it as a means of distracting Kelsi from her adamant need to walk herself home, he should have known it would have worked as well on him as it did on her. He lightly kissed Kelsi's silky brunette curls, as he tucked the small girl's head into his shoulder, letting her rest there for a moment while they awaited their stop.

Kelsi had never wished for her train ride to last longer...until now. While the night...and day for that matter, had been fabulous, she was sorry to see the wonderful time come to an end. As the train skidded to a halting stop, Kelsi and Ryan followed the other waiting passengers off the train. They walked in silence for a while, simply enjoying the way their hands fit together. That is, until Ryan thought it was time to broach an earlier subject.

"Will you please tell me what brought the worry into your eyes before?" He asked honestly.

Kelsi thought of just letting it go for the moment, but she knew the thought would sit there, in the back of her mind, probably keeping her from sleep later that same night. And so because of this, she answered him.

"What are we?" Kelsi asked, wishing she could have worded the question in a more sophisticated manner, yet not knowing how exactly to go about doing so.

Ryan was confused, he didn't really know what Kelsi was referring to.

"What do you mean?" He asked, still walking, though his head was turned to study her expression.

Kelsi bit her lip lightly as she thought about how to explain herself. She really thought she had been pretty blunt about it.

"You know?" She started, sparing a glance at Ryan and being met with open confusion. "Okay, obviously you don't know." She mumbled to herself, clearing her voice before trying again. "Are we...together...as in...a couple....wh-who are m-more than...friends?" Whew, it was out. Kelsi hoped that had come out a little more smoothly than she thought it sounded. Knowing her luck, probably not.

Ryan burst into immediate laughter, as he finally understood Kelsi's worry and bashfulness. God, she was utterly adorable and delectable.

"That's what all of your nerves were about love? You wanted to know whether or not we were a couple?" Ryan asked, stopping in front of Kelsi's door to stare down into her wide blue eyes.

He had referred to her as "love". Please say she had not just imagined that, because God would not be that cruel. Unless her ears were deceiving her, Ryan Evans had just called her "love". Dear Lord, life was heavenly, sweet and all things good.

Ryan kept waiting for Kelsi to answer, all he was getting was her staring at him, her mouth hanging open and her eyes bright with..._awe_?

"You called me "love"?" Kelsi said without thinking. Instantly recognizing what she had just said, her small hand swung up and covered her parted lips.

Ryan smiled gently at Kelsi, as he took in her expression. She was...priceless.

"I did call you that. I do believe that is the sort of thing most gentlemen do." Ryan stated calmly, as he proceeded to take Kelsi's glasses off.

"They do?" Kelsi responded, before making a grab for her glasses. "What are you doing?" She asked in a confused manner.

Ryan was able to win the little tug-of-war and free Kelsi's glasses from her face.

"I am getting ready to kiss my girlfriend." Ryan said softly, as his mouth came closer and closer by the second.

"Oh." Kelsi began, dazedly, before registering just what Ryan had said. "_Oh_."

"Oh." Ryan teased back.

And then Ryan proceeded to kiss her goodnight, the first of many goodnight kisses he would be giving his girlfriend.

_**Aw, aw , aw...mushy gushy goodness. It's funny, because as I was writing this I realized I am so not used to writing happy Ryan and Kelsi this early on in a story...with pretty much no obstacles in sight. Quite interesting, and...I liked it. Unfortunately, a big obstacle is coming...not for another chapter or so though. Ah, the love of foreshadowing. **_

_**Thanks for reading :-) Love,**_

_**Jen**_


	16. Chapter 16

_**Hey Lovelies...**_

_**First let me offer you all a big apology for taking such a long time to update. (I believe this is a record for me.) I have had some very heavy family related issues come up lately. So, I have been spending a lot of time with them...and more time thinking about them when I am not with them physically. I hope you can all be patient with me during this time. I am fully and completely committed to this story. And as most of you know, I am a stickler for finishing what I start. My updates just may not be as frequent as you are generally used to. For that I am sorry. I promise to make it up to you by making sure this is a kick ass story.**_

_**In other news..."Grace" the novel version is trudging along...and I am so happy with how it is turning out. I have two wonderful muses who are proofreading, suggesting and basically giving me tons of support. (Long live late night e-mail pow wows!)**_

_**Taking a page out of Eccy's book (Kelsi's Secret...which is a phenomenally moving story), I would like to recommend anothersmallperson's story "So I've Fallen in Love"...this is her first story ever. She has a natural hand for writing, you won't be disappointed. **_

_**Alright then, let's get this show on the road...**_

The scream ripped through the air, causing Kelsi to wince for about the 100th time that day.

"LAUREN...NOOOOO!"

Kelsi let out a deep pent up sigh as she abandoned the remains of the snack she was attempting to make, to follow the trail of 3 year old screams. No scratch that, Matthew's screams had now been overshadowed by a deafening screech. The kind of noise that gave banshees a run for their money. Kelsi's forced composed walk gave way to a sprint across the dining room and into the living room.

She ran her fingers harshly through her long curls, gripping the ends tightly, as she seriously considered pulling it out by the roots.

At any other time the sight that greeted her may have caused her to laugh. Lauren was sprawled on the floor, her small tummy flattened against the hardwood floors, as her brother bounced on her back like she was a make shift trampoline.

"Stop! Freeze! Refrain! DO NOT MOVE!" Kelsi started, her stern voice raising with each new ignored order. At her final yell, she finally got their attention.

"What's wrong Kelsi? Lauren's my horsey." Matthew stated innocently, going so far as to show off his cute little dimple. But oh, no sir, she was not falling for that...again.

"K-Kelsi...p-please get h-him...off." Lauren grunted, her creamy face flushed with exertion and anger.

Matthew, knowing he had been caught, rolled off his sister unceremoniously.

"What is going on here?" Kelsi questioned, lowering herself to the floor, to be eye level with the kids. "All day today you two have been picking away at each other...and in the process me." Kelsi muttered the last bit to herself. Dear Lord, this was not the sort of day she needed....ever.

"She took my car." Matthew stated honestly, pointing an accusing pudgy finger at his sister.

"Lauren?" Kelsi asked, her eyebrows raised as she telepathically willed the little red headed girl to not be difficult.

Lauren attempted to win the impromptu staring contest with Kelsi. She hastily wiped her cloudy eyes as she felt the tears starting to form. She briskly pulled the car out of her pocket, handing it to Matthew with a muttered apology.

"Sorry Matty."

"It's okay Lala." Matthew said, placing a mushy kiss on his sister's pink cheek.

Kelsi felt her heart rate return to normal, as her stress level decreased a notch. She didn't know what was going on with Lauren. Usually the little girl was her helper throughout the day, a practically perfect example of good behavior. But lately, she had been acting up more and more. When Kelsi had questioned Sarah about it, the older woman was shocked. Apparently Lauren's less than stellar behavior was saved for Kelsi; as she was a model of perfection for her mother. Kelsi knew something was wrong, she just didn't know what that said "something" was.

"Lauren, would you mind coming into the kitchen to help me get the snacks?" Kelsi asked gently, knowing punishment wasn't going to help her get to the heart of the matter. "Matty, how would you like to watch a show, while Lala and I get the treats?"

Matthew didn't need to be asked twice. If he could, he would gladly sit stationary in front of a television all day long. "Can I watch "Backyardigans," please Kelsi?"

"You sure can Mister Man." Kelsi said, giving Matthew's rounded cheek a loud kiss.

"Kelsi, you kissed me." Matthew stated the obvious, before erupting into hysterical giggles. Dear Lord, the little boy was a charmer.

Kelsi quickly got Matthew settled, before holding her hand out to Lauren. Relief washed through her body when she felt the small girl's slight hand take her own. Well, that was reassuring, apparently, Lauren wasn't too mad at her.

Lauren let her small hand be enfolded by Kelsi's. She had not meant to act up, well, not really anyway. It was just that Kelsi had been spending so much time at the theater...with her new job. That wasn't to say she was spending less time with Lauren and Matty...it was just...different. Lauren couldn't help but be worried. What if Kelsi ended up liking the theater more than her and Matty? What then? Did that mean Kelsi would leave them? Loosing her Daddy had been so hard, Lauren didn't want to loose Kelsi too.

Kelsi got two green bowls down from the cabinet, as she continued to slice the remaining strawberries, which had been previously abandoned. She watched with a soft smile as Lauren wordlessly started to fill the bowls.

"What's going on Lady Bug?" Kelsi asked, her blue eyes wide with curiosity.

Lauren looked down at her hands, she didn't want to face Kelsi. She knew she had been behaving badly, she just couldn't seem to stop.

"Talk to me sweetie." Kelsi said, as she leaned over, letting her narrow finger gently graze Lauren's freckled cheek.

The tears started to fall freely from Lauren grassy eyes, as she finally looked at Kelsi.

"I-I'm s-sorry Kels Bells. I-I'm just s-scared." Lauren released with a sob.

Kelsi wasted no time in gathering Lauren in her arms, bringing the small girl's slight body to her own, as she rubbed soothing circles into her back. Kelsi felt her heart break, as Lauren's tiny arms grasped the back of Kelsi's cotton shirt tightly.

"Shh, it's okay lady bug, let it out." Kelsi soothed, as she felt her own eyes fogging up with tears. She allowed herself to take deep and calming breathes, setting the example for Lauren. Kelsi couldn't help but smile when she began to hear the little girl's exaggerated version of "calming breaths", she sounded like a mother attempting to give birth. "Are you ready to tell me why you are scared?" Kelsi asked, bringing the subject back to the broken confession Lauren had made a minute or so ago.

Lauren's shining strawberry hair bobbed up and down, as her clear green eyes lifted to meet Kelsi's large blue ones.

"I don't want you to leave us Kelsi." Lauren whispered, her breath beginning to catch, as tears once again threatened to fall.

Kelsi's eyes widened and her mouth dropped open, shock seemed to course through her entire being.

"Lady bug, why would you ever think I would leave you?" Kelsi asked incredulously, that was the last thing she had expected to hear come out of Lauren's mouth.

"You have been working more at the theater now. What if you decide you like that more than Matty and me?" Lauren took a deep breath, before rushing on. "I mean, the theater is one of my most favorite places, Matty's too."

Kelsi's lips parted in a watery grin, as she framed Lauren's small face in her palms.

"Lauren, while it is true I love the theater, there is something else I love even more." Kelsi confessed.

"What is it?" Lauren asked, almost afraid to hear the answer.

"You and your brother." Kelsi supplied simply. "Don't you know by now sweetie, you and Matty have my heart tied so tightly around your fingers?"

"That doesn't seem very comfortable." The little girl countered honestly.

"It's a metaphor honey." Kelsi explained.

"What's a metaphor?" Lauren asked, her head tilted slightly to the side in curiosity.

Kelsi let out a giggle, as she gathered Lauren closely to her chest. She allowed herself to truly appreciate the feel of Lauren's smooth hair as it rested against her cheek and the sweet smell of her fruity shampoo.

"It just means that you and Matty are two of the most important people in my life." Kelsi explained lovingly.

"Oh." Lauren said softly, her lips widening in a huge full toothed grin.

"Just because I am taking on more responsibility at the theater doesn't mean I am going to spend less time with you and your brother." Kelsi consoled.

"I love you Kelsi." Lauren said, as she placed a light butterfly kiss on Kelsi's cheek.

"Oh Lauren, I love you so much." Taking the time to place fleeting kisses on Lauren's cheeks and nose before giving her a loud smacking kiss on the lips.

As Lauren's lyrical giggles filled the space, Kelsi felt a peace come over her. She had just made big promises to the little girl in her arms, but they were important promises, and she had every intention of keeping them.

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Ryan was sitting across from Kelsi in the crowded Thai restaurant, desperately trying to pay attention as she relayed her day to him. "Trying" being the operative word. It was so hard for him to concentrate on what she was saying, when she looked so beautiful while saying...whatever it was she was attempting to get across. Her hair was partially covered by the black knit hat she wore, while her visible curls provided a lovely rioting cascade in all directions. Her features were animated and her tone of voice expressive. Noticing this, Ryan steered his thoughts past how pretty his girlfriend was and worked to focus on what she was saying.

"Can you believe Lauren would ever think the theater would take precedence over her and Matty?" Kelsi said, taking a moment to notice the bemused expression on Ryan's face. Her last comment seemed to catch his attention though.

"She said that to you?" Ryan asked, temporarily forgetting about his daydreams regarding Kelsi's hair and all of the places he could imagine it being draped....like his pillow...and his pillow.

"She did, I was really surprised by it." Kelsi stated.

"Me too. I am always amazed by how intuitive kids are, specifically Lauren." Ryan countered. He had been given the pleasurable opportunity of spending even more time with Kelsi and the kids during the last couple of weeks. They were, to say the least, spectacular little people.

Kelsi's face froze at Ryan's comment.

"Why would you say she was intuitive, that would mean her feelings were valid?" Kelsi asked, taking care with her words. She was not the sort of person who went to far out of her way to stick up for herself, but when it came to her kids...

Ryan could sense they were venturing into dangerous territory. He was not entirely excited about this certain adventure, but he and Kelsi had made the promise to always be honest with one another. He wasn't about to make an exception now.

"Well, aren't they Kels? I mean composing and playwriting has always been what you wanted to do. That was your dream for as far back as I can remember." Ryan took in Kelsi's features during his whole explanation, trying to gage what effect his words were having on her. "Has that changed?"

Kelsi was pretty amazed, weren't these the same thoughts that had been traveling at lightening speed through her own mind not too long ago? But then, it had been different, she had only had to deal with her own confused emotions. Now, Lauren and Matty's were thrown into the mix and somehow, that addition made things seem a lot clearer.

"I still want those things Ryan. I just...also want more. My nannying job was originally an escape, a means to forget you." Kelsi paused as she noticed the slash of pain that crossed Ryan's features. She quickly reached over the expanse of the table and put her hand in his. "It obviously didn't work Ryan. You are pretty near impossible to forget." Kelsi said softly, her thumb tracing a light pattern on the top of Ryan's hand.

Ryan was once again trying to stay involved in the present conversation. It was just so damn difficult when Kelsi touched him. And obviously it didn't even need to be a passionate embrace, even the most innocent touch made his body feel as if it were in some sort of inferno.

"What more do you want Kels?" Ryan asked, forcing his mind back to her earlier comment.

"Over the last couple of years something has happened Ry. I-I have found being a part of Lauren and Matty's life to be as necessary as music. I need it, it's almost like it is a whole separate part of my life source." Kelsi shook her head bashfully, realizing how silly she probably sounded. "I sound ridiculous don't I?"

"On the contrary, I was thinking your confession was actually quite beautiful." Ryan shared gently. "And I can understand where you are coming from, I have only gotten to share in a few of your "Lauren and Matty outings", yet I am feeling kind of addicted to them myself. They are just contagious sources of happiness."

A broad smile spread across Kelsi's lips, as she listened to her boyfriend put her thoughts into perfect words.

"There does happen to be another person who has come to be just as necessary in my life." Kelsi shared, leaning forward, as if she was telling a secret.

Ryan moved forward in his own chair, he felt his breath catch, as his heart started to beat at a rapid tempo.

"And who might that be?" he said with a magnificent smile.

"You." Kelsi said simply, as her honest answer causing a becoming blush to spread across her cheeks.

"I love you Kelsi." Ryan hadn't planned on saying the words, especially in a crowded restaurant. But he couldn't help it, they seemed to have a mind of their own.

Kelsi's eyes widened, and her lips parted in a gentle "O". She kept trying to say something, to respond, all she got was her breath coming out in frantic gasps. She felt the tell tale moisture gathering in her eyes, and didn't even attempt to wipe the tears away as they fell uninterrupted down her face. The moment the first tear hit her lap, her voice came back.

"You have no idea how long I have been waiting to hear you say that. I think I had given up on it. Even though we were together, I didn't want to hold out hope that you felt that way about me. I was so scarred of being disappointed." Kelsi stared rambling, letting all of her pent up fears loose. It was as if Ryan had suddenly unlocked the box where she held all of her insecurities...they were free and out in the open, never to be locked away in her mind again.

"Kelsi, you should know, I plan on working so hard to never disappoint you." Ryan leaned over the small table, to kiss away his girlfriend's trailing tears. "And if and when I do, I will work equally hard to fix that said disappointment."

Kelsi looked into Ryan's steady blue gaze, recognizing the truth in his words. How did this happen? How on Earth did she manage to get this lucky? Never in her wildest imaginings had she pictured this exact moment. This was so much better than any fantasy she could have come up with. The man she loved, had always loved, was offering her perfection.

"There's something you need to know." Kelsi stated, forcing a serious tone to her voice.

"What's that?" Ryan asked, a little hesitantly.

"I love you too, have I mentioned that yet?" Kelsi stated proudly. She had never said those words to a man before. She had always thought by uttering them she would all of the sudden be more vulnerable. And it was true, she did just heighten her vulnerability to Ryan, but she had also strengthened their bond and relationship. Somehow by completely putting her heart on the line, she had come back stronger.

All of these revelations swirled through Kelsi's brain...and then they stopped. Because then Ryan's lips met hers, and all she could do was feel.

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As they walked back to Kelsi's apartment, their hands linked and their arms swaying gently, Kelsi brought herself back to their previous conversation.

"So, I made a promise to Lauren today." Kelsi began, giving Ryan an expectant look.

"I believe this is the part where I ask what kind of promise did you make?" Ryan stated, his blue eyes smiling into hers.

"I told her that I wouldn't leave." Kelsi relayed softly, with feeling.

Ryan stopped suddenly, almost causing Kelsi to loose her delicate balance on the still icy sidewalks.

"As in ever?" He asked, disbelief echoing throughout his features.

Kelsi met Ryan's gaze, as she braced herself for the upcoming conversation. She was expecting this to serve as a bit of a roadblock. But it was better to get it out in the open now, then to push it away until later.

"I definitely want to stay until Matty is in school full time. I don't want them to have to acquire a new nanny."

Ryan had not been planning on this. He understood Kelsi' need to see her job through and to be a source of support for the kids. But he had always figured they would end up back in New York...eventually.

"What about New York?" Ryan asked.

Kelsi took a deep breath before answering Ryan. "Actually Ryan, I don't really want to move back to New York. I love it here. New York was so big. Chicago still offers the city feel and a great theater district, but on a smaller scale. Not to mention, by staying here, I am always available to Lauren and Matthew."

Kelsi looked deeply into Ryan's eyes, trying to decipher what was going on inside his head.

Ryan let himself feel the disappointment that traveled through his body at her words. He needed to do that. It was better to acknowledge those feelings and let them free, as opposed to bottling them up, just waiting for them to erupt. As the small dose of sadness passed, he truly considered what Kelsi had just shared with him. Not only "what" but also how difficult this confession must have been for her. While Kelsi had made great leaps regarding speaking her mind and sharing her feelings with him, he could still tell it was oftentimes a difficult occurrence for the petite girl.

He had to admit, Chicago was a great fit for Kelsi. She had never really settled into a New York lifestyle, the pace of the city had always been a tad unhinging for her. But here, she flourished. And not just in a musical sense, even though Ryan had been so pleased to know she hadn't let that side of her personality go when she had fled years ago. She had a family of friends, people that were as important to her now as the ones she had previously left behind.

Ryan had the sudden realization that he could never ask her to leave this. He could never be a source of the unhappiness a move like that would cause her. There was really only one possible solution.

"I guess I'll just have to move here then." Ryan said cheerfully and with a dose of finality.

Surprise and shock filled Kelsi's expression. She hadn't been expecting that. She wasn't exactly sure what she had been expecting, but it hadn't been that. The way Ryan made the statement, it had been so sure and...final.

"You would do that? Just drop everything and start over here?" Kelsi asked incredulously.

Ryan moved forward, taking up as much of Kelsi's space as he possibly could. He gently traced her features with his fingers, relishing the pleasant chills and becoming blush that spread across her body.

"Don't you get it by now sweetheart, my home is where ever you are."

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As the neared the entrance to her building, Kelsi couldn't help but wish the walk had lasted longer. She simply wasn't ready for the night to end. In truth, she was never ready for any night spent with Ryan to end. They had been apart for such a long time; she was cherishing their new relationship. And not just the romantic aspect of it, but their friendship too. She had missed that...the security of having someone in her life that she could connect with on so many different levels. While it was true, she had numerous close friends, and she was so grateful for those relationships, her relationship with Ryan had always possessed an extra...spark...or something equivalent to that description.

She was still shocked by how easily Ryan had made the decision to stay indefinitely in Chicago. And while that shock, or surprise was still quite a prominent revelation, it was heavily overshadowed by the thrill that had rushed through her being at his announcement. How did she get so lucky? Seriously? Kelsi was still trying to figure out what she did to deserve the bushels of happiness that were tumbling all around her, like a summer storm.

Ryan was quite certain Kelsi had not yet realized they were standing on her doorstep. And he was in no rush to fill her in. He was more than content to let her continue staring at him with the bemused expression that was presently riding her features. He had not realized how empty he had been...until he saw her again. So many of his dreams were connected to the beautiful pixie standing before him.

Kelsi couldn't stop smiling, she felt like her face was going to be plastered in a perma-grin, if she didn't get a hold of herself soon. As she attempted to shake her happily dazed state off, she recognized her surroundings.

"Um...Ryan, how long have we been standing in front of my apartment?" Kelsi asked, her voice a soft murmur, as embarrassment began to take over.

Ryan bent down and brushed a feather light kiss upon her forehead.

"Awhile now." He answered.

"I guess it is a fair assumption that neither one of us want this night to end?" Kelsi stated evenly, while in her head an endless refrain of "no, I don't, no' I don't"...was on repeat.

"I wish it didn't have to Kels, but we have unfortunately reached your destination." Ryan said, wrapping his strong arms around her tiny body.

"What if it were _our_ destination?" Kelsi asked timidly, choosing to ask the question to Ryan's shoulder blade.

Ryan gently brought his hand to Kelsi's cheek, bringing her gaze to his.

"Are you sure?" He asked, his voice barely a whisper. He wanted to go upstairs with her. He could think of nothing he wanted more than to wrap himself around her all night long. But that was a big step, he knew _he_ was ready, but he needed her to be also.

"I'm sure. I mean, I-I've...never, you know...um..." Kelsi paused. Curse her nervous behavior. This was a time when her inner smoothness needed to come out. Obviously she had _no_ smoothness whatsoever...inner or outer. Kelsi rushed through the rest of her explanation, before she lost her nerve. "I've never invited anyone up to my apartment before. Well, I mean I have, but they were all girls...and Charlie...but they weren't invited in the way that you are...invited...Oh God."

Ryan threaded his hands through Kelsi's curls, making her hat fall off in the process. He brought his chin to rest on the top of her head, letting the silky tresses tease his chin, making sure his sweet smile was hidden from Kelsi. He didn't want her to think he was laughing _at _her, she was just so damn cute.

"It goes without saying Kels, we don't have to do anything you aren't ready for." Ryan said, framing her face in his hands, while he gazed into her eyes.

Kelsi saw the truth and understanding in Ryan's unwavering gaze, and just like a light switch, she knew, she was ready.

"Don't _you_ know by now Ryan, _my_ home isn't a home without you in it."

A soft laugh escaped Ryan as he recognized her words. Taking her hand in his, he followed the woman he loved more than anything up the stairs.

_**Hope it was worth you wait! Thanks for taking the time to read.**_

_**Love,**_

_**Jen**_


	17. Chapter 17

_**Hi Everyone...I hope you are all having a wonderful summer...or fall...or winter...where ever you may be. (Oh, and spring too...I didn't mean to leave out spring, I love spring.) I hope you like this chapter. **_

_**Thanks to my gmail ladies, my own personal golden girls...you know who you are. I treasure each and every one of you so much.**_

_**And I would like to recommend every single story by fallinrain...and there are a lot of them, so you will all be very busy. (I have a feeling all of you already know about my dear friend Kim's work, but it is so good you should give it a re-read.)**_

_**Also, thank you so much for all of your lovely notes and support regarding my family. There is a new addition to my family, a beautiful flower girl, who appreciates your thoughts so much.**_

Kelsi was having the most fabulous dream, it was actually pretty _beyond_ fabulous, she was lying in the warm cocoon of Ryan's arms....

Kelsi's eyes burst open, she struggled to take in her blurry surroundings, her eyes squinting due to the sunlight peering through her window. She turned slowly to her right, almost afraid of what she was going to find there. Within a mili-second she was nose to nose with Ryan...a sleeping Ryan. Despite the fact that he was sleeping, a telltale blush quickly made its way through Kelsi's body. Until that moment Kelsi had no idea that when she blushed, really blushed, she turned all sorts of pink...all over. That fact just made the pink blush turn to red.

Ryan woke up to the feeling he was being watched. He opened his tired blue eyes to find another larger pair of sky blue eyes staring straight at him with a panicked expression. He should have been worried by his girlfriend's expression, but he wasn't. The only emotion he was really capable of feeling at the moment was joy, utter and complete joy. Last night had been...magical. That was really the only way to describe it. He had never experienced anything like that in his life. It was as if everything about he and Kelsi was made in perfect accordance for one another.

"Good morning." Ryan said, a small yawn escaping with his greeting.

"Good morning." Kelsi squeaked, her reply so rapid it was almost impossible to separate her words.

"How do you feel?" Ryan asked, as he ran his hand through her tangled curls, taking care to enjoy the moment.

"Um...naked." Kelsi quickly closed her eyes at her response. _Naked?_ Did she really just answer with _naked_? In her mind a cute coy answer was supposed to trip easily from her tongue. Why was it that her mind and her mouth were very rarely on the same page?

Kelsi took herself out of her internal dilemma to realize Ryan was laughing. Well, that was good, laughter was good. True, it was most likely _at her_, but it could be worse. He could be crying or yelling or...mute.

"You're laughing?" Kelsi said breathlessly, stating the obvious.

"You're funny." Was Ryan's ready response.

Kelsi couldn't help but smile at that. Only Ryan would find her odd ability to say asinine things "funny".

Ryan leaned over to Kelsi, taking her lips in a simple yet lingering kiss. A kiss that soon made Kelsi forget all of the ridiculous thoughts that had previously been running through her mind. Honestly, why was she worrying about being naked...in bed...with Ryan. It was as if each word ended with an exclamation mark in her mind. Before she knew it, her breathing was expelling in huge gasping breaths. Oh God no, Kelsi squinted her eyes as she willed her body not to hyperventilate. Damn nerves. Refrains of "cool as a cucumber" were on instant repeat in her head.

"Are you okay? No regrets?" Ryan asked softly, his eyes taking in every one of her features, he was a little worried that her breathing seemed to be somewhat...irregular. And Ryan could swear he heard her whisper something that sounded eerily like "cool as a cucumber." But that made absolutely no sense.

"I am a little embarrassed, I've never done this before." Kelsi paused for a moment. "I've never woken up next to a man...in my bed...naked...together. It's....weird, but good." Kelsi shook her head softly, before burying her face in her hands. "I'm making a mess of this." She manged to mumble.

Ryan thought she was adorable. Without a doubt, when it came to Kelsi, what you saw was what you got. There were no pretenses, no games; she was refreshingly honest.

"You aren't making a mess of anything Kels." Ryan reassured. "You are expressing yourself. And honestly, that's what I want. I want you to feel so comfortable with me, that you feel the freedom to say whatever comes to your mind." Ryan saw one of Kelsi's pretty blue eyes peak out from behind the wall of her hands. He took that as an okay to reach over and gently pull her fingers from her face. "I don't blame you for feeling...different and maybe even a little odd. We did something new last night Kels, an act that pretty much forces you to leave all inhibitions at the door."

"It was beautiful." Kelsi said quietly, the admission popping out of her mouth, before she even knew it was coming. "I didn't really know what to expect seeing as I had never...um..you know...done...that act...before." Kelsi finished, struggling for the appropriate words. "It was so much more than I ever could have imagined." She finished shyly.

Ryan wasted no time in pulling Kelsi as close as possible and securing her in a loving hug.

"It was spectacular Kels. You were...amazing." Ryan said, whispering the admission into her ear.

Kelsi pulled back, disbelief evident in her features.

"Really?" She asked doubtfully.

"Really." Ryan concluded simply.

Kelsi wanted to say something more, but she couldn't remember what it was. Ryan was kissing her, deep, passionate kisses that were rapidly pulling away her concentration. A slow simmer of heat started to take over her body, a heat that quickly seemed to engulf her whole being in flames. And then Kelsi couldn't think anymore, there was no room in her body for one single thought. But she could feel...oh, could she feel.

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Kelsi continued to look into her cereal bowl, watching as her cheerios became huge with absorbed milk, lost in thought. She sat cross legged in her old comfy chair, positioned near one of the big windows of her apartment. The windows had been why she had signed the lease to her tiny flat. While the apartment epitomized the word "small", the huge bay windows brought in what seemed like the whole sun. And Kelsi loved the sun, it was an inspiration for so much of her drive concerning music and the kids.

Today that sun was helping in a completely different manner, it was helping her adjust. This morning she was different in so many respects from the girl who woke up yesterday morning. Stating the obvious, she knew her body was different, but more importantly, her heart. She was in love, and not only that, she was loved back.

_Ryan loved her_. He had said so himself, and not at all in a suggestive or planned way. It had burst out of him, like the air in a too full balloon. It was almost as if he hadn't been able to keep the news to himself anymore. An innate and thoughtful smile graced Kelsi's lips as she thought of Ryan. He was still fast asleep. Kelsi knew from their days as best friends that he loved to sleep in, and if she remembered correctly, when he finally decided to wake up he tended to be pretty...grumpy. A soft giggle escaped her as she realized she was actually looking forward to "grumpy" Ryan. In all honesty, she was looking forward to Ryan in general....every single aspect of Ryan life decided to bring her way.

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Ryan awoke to the sound of...birds. Loud, chirping, flapping birds. He let out a loud grunt as he rolled over, bringing a pillow with to cover his head.

And that is when he almost fell off the bed.

Ryan's eyes popped open, as he sat up a bit too rapidly and attempted to take in his surroundings, wondering why his bed was suddenly smaller. While his head seemed to be adjusting to no longer resuming a deep sleep, he recognized quite quickly where he was...Kelsi's. And at the thought of her, much of his sleepy mood (he refused to call himself "grumpy") evaporated. He even...smiled.

Ryan hurriedly leaped from the bed, more than ready to start the day. He eagerly pushed open the bedroom door, only to find his eyes searching for Kelsi in the small living area.

"I'm over here." Came her soft and sleepy voice.

Ryan's sharp blue eyes shifted from the couch to the over sized chair that seemed to engulf Kelsi's petite body.

"I see you still crave the morning sun?" He stated, taking a moment to appreciate the way the light's rays brought out differing streaks of color in her hair. She was so beautiful. How had he not noticed how beautiful she was before? That question seemed to be on repeat in his head. Perhaps because he hadn't been looking or paying attention; he had been so wrapped up in...

Ryan decided not to finish the thought, he wasn't quite ready to dissect the past. Besides, that didn't really matter...not in the long run. What did matter was _now_ and the future. Every dream Ryan had for his future concerned and centered around Kelsi.

Kelsi didn't answer Ryan's previous question, instead just opting to give him a welcoming smile.

"How'd you sleep?" She asked.

She knew she was blushing; she was well aware of the heat that seemed to be centered on her cheeks. She couldn't seem to help it, everything about the current situation was so...intimate. She had never done this before, woken up with a man in her house. Hell, she had never even shared her bed with someone else, everything was so new. But, she liked it. She liked the idea of sharing her space with someone, well, not just someone, with Ryan.

"I slept great." He answered, bringing Kelsi promptly back to the present. "So, do you have to work today?"

"Oh yes, every week day." As the answer left her lips, Kelsi realized this was the first day she actually didn't want to go to work. It had nothing to do with the kids, she loved spending her days with Lauren and Matty. She just didn't want her day with Ryan to end.

The revelation scared her a bit. She wasn't used to relying on someone. For so long she had depended solely on herself, the idea of sharing that responsibility with someone, and not just anybody, but somebody who she was so vulnerable towards was quite frightening. A slight wrinkle furrowed Kelsi's brow as she considered this. As scary as the idea was, of sharing herself completely with someone else, Kelsi found she craved it. The idea of forming a partnership with Ryan, of working together to build something solid was so...lovely.

Ryan noticed the little wrinkle forming on Kelsi's brow, a sure fire sign that she was contemplative or worried. He slowly walked towards her, crouching down near her chair, making their vision level. Ryan reached over, using one finger to gently smooth the wrinkle away.

"A worry wrinkle, what brought that on?" He asked, his finger remaining on her face, moving from her brow to travel lightly down her cheek.

A slight smile fell across Kelsi's features.

"Believe it or not, it was a good worry." Kelsi began, bringing her hand up to grasp his. "I was thinking of how much I like this."

"Like what?" Ryan asked, a full scale grin making its way across his face.

"Being here with you, starting a relationship, laying the foundation towards something phenomenal."

Ryan's breath caught at her words. He realized no one had ever expressed anything like that to him before. No one had ever shown such faith in him. And that's what he saw when he gazed steadily into Kelsi's clear focused eyes, he saw faith, trust and love...and almost overwhelming amount of love.

"I've never felt this way before Kels." Ryan said, taking a greater leap and putting all of his feelings on the metaphorical table.

Kelsi didn't need to ask questions, she knew exactly what he was talking about, what he was attempting to express.

"Me neither." She said, drawing her bottom lip between her teeth, as she met Ryan half way. "I don't want this day to end."

"Why does it have to?" He asked, moving to kiss both of her palms.

A playful giggle escaped Kelsi, as Ryan's lips found a ticklish spot on her arm.

"Well, I have this little thing called work." Kelsi managed to get out between bursts of laughter.

"Can I come with you?" He asked, sounding very much like a little boy who saw a new toy within his grasp.

"You want to come with me...to work?" Kelsi questioned, a slight amount of doubt creeping into her tone.

Ryan jumped up from his crouching position, his hands reaching and finding Kelsi's, before pulling her up with him.

"Yeah, why not. I have hung out with you and the kids before. It'll be great." Ryan paused for a moment, making his blue eyes as big and droopy as possible. "Please....." He stressed, drawing the word out while completely achieving a "puppy dog" look.

"Fine." Kelsi said with a laugh. "We need to hurry though, I can't be late."

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Kelsi watched with a grin as Ryan, Lauren and Matty took off running across the wide expanse of grassy park, the bright streamers attached to their kite flying in the wind as if it was its own personality. It was an uncharacteristically warm day in Chicago, Kelsi could tell spring was trying so hard to break through winter's barriers.

Ryan was spinning and breaking into dancing leaps across the grass. Kelsi couldn't help but laugh as she watched Lauren and Matthew attempt to imitate his effortless moves. She rushed forward when Matthew landed promptly on his bum, the kite falling from the air in perfect accordance with the little boy. Before she had even taken two steps, Ryan was there, brushing Matty off and allowing him to leap onto his back. Kelsi's feet came to a skidding halt as she watched Ryan balance Matthew on his back while he held Lauren's hand. Matty was holding onto the kite, stretching it as high into the sky as his little arms would allow. They looked like a...family. Ryan was a natural with them. It was so obvious to Kelsi that he genuinely loved being with the kids. And those kids, they adored him right back.

"Kels Bells, come on!" Lauren yelled, shaking Kelsi out of her inner revelry.

Kelsi took off, sprinting after them, carefully taking in the ground, making sure there weren't any branches that could possibly trip her. Lord knows, it would be so like her to trip and fall flat on her face...or ass. Running and Kelsi simply did not mix.

Ryan led them all to the top of a makeshift hill. He held on to Matty securely, loving the feel of the child in his arms. As he took in the pleasure of having the little boy gripping his back and the little girl holding on tight to his hand, Ryan realized he could do this...be a parent...someday. Not only could he do it, but he wanted it, craved it even. He had never thought seriously about having kids before. But when he was with Kelsi, Lauren and Matty...it was impossible not to think of the future possibilities.

Matthew easily slid off Ryan's back, being careful to protect the fragile kite. Seeing Kelsi make her way up the hill, seemed to fill his little body with even more excitement.

"Kelsi, is it going to fly again?" He asked, his big blue eyes alight with wonder.

Kelsi let herself feel the rough wind rip through her curls; her cheeks flushed with excitement she crouched down to Matty's level.

"I think so buddy. Are you excited?" She asked, her lips split in a huge grin.

"So excited!" Matty replied, jumping up and down in his exuberance.

Ryan focused on Lauren, easily placing his arm around her shoulders.

"What do you think Lala girl, you ready to get this baby back in the air?" He said, gesturing towards the kite.

"Let's do it Ryan." Lauren said, picking up Ryan's hand to place a loving kiss on his palm.

Ryan stopped suddenly and looked at the little red-haired, green eyed girl.

"What was that for?" He asked, gesturing towards his hand and a bit taken back by Lauren's spontaneous show of affection.

Lauren moved naturally into Ryan's side, placing her small and narrow hands around him in an accepting hug.

"It's because I love you Ryan." Lauren spoke simply.

At her words Ryan honestly thought he felt his heart actually expand. He knelt down next to Lauren, expecting her to be a bit shy; he was surprised to find her staring at him inquisitively, as if she was wondering why he was making such a big deal over her declaration. It was so simple for her...to utter those words. She didn't think about ramifications or fear, Lauren simply felt and expressed. It would have been impossible for Ryan not to appreciate and recognize the beauty in that.

"I love you too Lauren." Ryan said, taking care with his words; it was suddenly so important that this little girl know how much he actually meant them.

"What about me?" Matthew said, his little lips puffing out into an adorable pout.

At Matthew's outburst, Ryan's laughing eyes met Kelsi's and held. His breath caught as he saw the tears falling freely down her cheeks. The funny thing was, he wasn't worried. He understood why she was crying and the waves of emotion that were probably hitting her about now, because he was feeling them too.

Ryan wrapped his arms around Matthew, bringing his small body to his in a joyful embrace.

"Matthew, you are impossible_ not_ to love." Ryan expressed, blue eyes meeting blue.

"Does that mean you love me too?" Matty asked, gently beeping Ryan's nose.

"More than I could ever begin to express." He answered, hugging Matthew's already wiggling body to him more firmly.

"Do you love Kelsi?" Lauren asked, her face an almost too innocent mask. Ryan had the impression she knew exactly what she was proposing.

Ryan wasted no time in making eye contact with Kelsi. He started to walk towards her with Matthew still wrapped securely in his arms. On his way towards Kelsi, Ryan used his free arm to pick up Lauren, cuddling both siblings close to his strong and steady chest. He continued towards Kelsi, a bit slower, but with even more purpose.

"What I feel for Kelsi seems to even surpass love." Ryan stated simply, his eyes containing the emotion bubbling up inside him.

Kelsi didn't need to think twice; quickly closing the space between them, she wrapped her arms around the three people she loved most in the world.

_**Wow...I had a whole different plan for this chapter, but I ended up writing this instead. I hope you all liked it. And I will see you soon!**_

_**Love,**_

_**Jen**_


	18. Chapter 18

_**Hello hello. I hope you all are doing well. Thank you so much for all of the lovely reviews and for simply taking the time to read my story. Lauren and Matthew think it is pretty kick-ass that they are featured. (Even though "kick-ass" isn't a word they would use.)**_

_**I thought it smart to give the warning that this story is winding down...about three more chapters left...if I am calculating correctly. I have so enjoyed writing "Wallflower". Thanks to all of you for being such a ready inspiration.**_

_**I would also like to give a HUGE shout out to fallinrain. She has been such a support...not just with writing, but in general. I was so worried about writing so many people in one chapter and she not only gave me some great advice, she also set my mind at ease.**_

"_**Grace" is coming along. Once I finish "Wallflower", I believe I am going to take some time to really focus in on "Grace." (Get at least the first book written.)**_

_**Well, without further ado....**_

"Lauren, Matthew, come on guys, please stop fidgeting." Sarah's soothing voice attempted to calm her children as she watched them straining to see around the masses of people swarming the theater. It was opening night of "Mary Poppins", and it seemed like almost everyone in Chicago was in the packed theater.

"Mom, I can't see around this guy's hair in front of me...it is too...poofy." Lauren's normally sweet voice was starting to wear an edge of hysteria. This night was so important to her. Not only was she going to watch Kelsi play the piano, she was also going to see Ryan dance and sing on the huge stage. There was no way she was going to let some guy with "poofy" hair obstruct her view.

Sarah was just about to switch seats with her daughter, when her son decided to fix the situation himself.

Matthew didn't understand why Lauren was getting so upset...the problem seemed pretty fixable to him. Matthew gingerly tapped the poofy-haired guy's shoulder.

Chad Danforth had been in the middle of a serious basketball conversation with Troy when he felt the tiny chubby finger poking him. He turned around and was met with a smiling little boy, a little girl who looked on the verge of tears and a very overwhelmed young woman who he guessed was their mother.

"Matthew-" Sarah began to scold, only to be cut off by her precocious little imp of a son.

"It's okay Mommy, I've got this." Matthew responded, his blue eyes all the while holding Chad's confused gaze.

"Hey little man, can I help you with something?" Chad inquired, smiling, he was figuring the tap on his shoulder had been some sort of childish game.

"Your hair is too poofy man; my sister can't see Kelsi and Ryan." Matthew stated simply.

At the little boy's announcement, the people sharing the row with Chad started to laugh. Matthew, thrilled his announcement got that sort of reaction, started to hop up and down on his seat a little. It seemed the poofy haired guy was there with A LOT of people.

"Matthew!" Sarah scolded, mortified by her son's proclamation.

"It's alright ma'am." Chad said quickly, focusing on Sarah before returning his gaze to the little boy, who quite frankly was reminding him a bit of himself. "So, you know Kelsi and Ryan?" He asked intrigued.

Lauren, no longer sensing the threat of her view being blocked, decided it was time for her to chime in.

"Oh yes, Kelsi is our nanny and Ryan is her boyfriend. We love them." She stated with a sweet smile. "Do you all know them?"

A bright grin fell across Chad's features at the little girl's answer. "We all," he started, gesturing towards the other three people that filled his searing section, "went to school with them."

Lauren and Matthew took in the line of friendly faces in the row ahead of them.

"You're the Wildcats!" Lauren exclaimed excitedly. "Kelsi talks about you guys all the time." She took in all of their faces, searching her memory for placement. Her eyes took in the man sitting to the right of Chad, he had sandy brown hair and the bluest eyes Lauren had ever seen. "You're Troy, aren't you?" She asked.

If Lauren had been unsure of the man's identity before, the moment he smiled she knew it was Troy Bolton. He just seemed to ooze charisma...at least that was what Kelsi said. Lauren hadn't really known what "charisma" was...until now.

"So you are the family our Playmaker works for?" Troy asked, addressing not just Lauren, but Matthew and Sarah also.

"We are the family Kelsi is a member of." Sarah corrected. "She may watch my children, but she is more aunt and sister to us then employee.

Troy took in Sarah's comment, recognizing that along with the truth to her words there was a story.

"Well, I know she feels the same way about you...that you are members of her family I mean." This comment was made by a petite woman with flowing ebony curls and huge brown eyes, Lauren and Matthew were instantly able to place Gabriella. Not just because of her physical description, but also because she was holding hands with Troy.

Matthew was instantly in love. He spryly moved onto his mother's lap, so he could have better access to the pretty woman with the sing-song voice.

"You're pretty." Matthew said lightly, his dimpled smile adding even more charm to his words. "Oh, and so are you." Matthew focused his later comment on who he now knew to be Taylor. He noticed that she too was holding hands with a boy, this "boy" being the poofy-haired Chad. Matthew couldn't help scowling a little, why was it that all of the pretty girls were taken?

"Well, you certainly are a charmer aren't you?" Taylor supplied, tapping her finger playfully on Matthew's nose.

"I think my brother likes your girlfriends." Lauren said, eyebrows raised inquisitively as she stared at Troy and Chad.

All Sarah could do was laugh; only her children could form some sort of a social club while sitting in a noisy theater.

"It is so nice to meet all of you in person, Kelsi has told us so much about you all." Sarah supplied kindly.

"And so has Ryan." Lauren added.

"Did someone just mention my brother?"

Lauren turned quickly, to see who the new voice belonged to. Her gaze was suddenly filled with more pink than she had ever seen in her life. Seriously, it was a lot of pink, the pretty blond haired lady looked kind of like a bottle of the pink bubble gum medicine her mommy gave her whenever she was sick. Lauren knew instantly who this woman was.

"You are Ryan's sister Sharpay aren't you?" Lauren asked, her voice filled with something akin to awe. She still wasn't quite over all of the pink....Lauren loved the color pink.

Sharpay looked down into the little girl's upturned face, it was impossible for her heart not to melt by the sight that greeted her. Framed by wispy red waves, was a precious little green-eyed, lightly freckled sweet heart. Standing next to the little girl, not one to be overlooked was an adorable little blue-eyed angel faced boy.

"You must be Lauren and Matthew. Ryan has told me all about you. And after seeing both of you, I can see why he is so gung-ho on staying in Chicago."

Sharpay's announcement was met by shock from the rest of the group, not including Sarah and the kids.

"What?!" The Wildcats' unanimous yell filled the space, as the lights started to dim.

Zeke came up behind Sharpay in time to hear the outburst.

"Love, only you would start a commotion right before your brother's show." He said, his chocolate eyes filled with affection.

"Because the love you feel for me is so evident in your expression, I have decided not to be annoyed by that comment." Sharpay said smartly, placing a lingering kiss on her fiancées cheek, before moving to sit next to the rest of their friends.

"It's starting, it's starting!" Matthew's excited voice echoed through the theater, only to be met with good natured chuckles.

Lauren and Matthew both kept their eyes trained on the orchestra pit, as they waited for Kelsi to step out.

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Kelsi had almost forgotten what it felt like to be this nervous. She placed a trembling hand to her stomach as she heard the sounds of a settling crowd. She had been taking calming breaths all evening, or what she thought were calming breaths, in reality they more resembled someone who was hyperventilating. She placed one shaky foot in front of the other, as she started to walk out from behind the safe confines of the curtain, only to be pulled back into the comfort of a steady chest. She felt muscular arms wrap around her from behind and soft lips press themselves to her clammy cheek. Taking a deep breath, Kelsi inhaled the sweet, earthy and familiar scent that epitomized Ryan.

"What are you doing here Ryan? You are supposed to be back stage waiting for your entrance." Kelsi tried to chastise, but there wasn't a trace of discipline to her voice, she was simply too grateful to have him there with her, taking all of the nerves and fears away...almost as if they had never existed in the first place.

"No worries Kels, I can run back into position in no time. I had a feeling you may need some support before you made your way out there." Ryan said, the ready calm in his voice washing over Kelsi like fresh flowing water.

"You know me too well." Kelsi said, turning in his arms and returning his embrace, letting the heat from his body seep into hers.

Ryan placed a tender kiss upon her forehead, before placing his fingertips gently on her cheeks, willing her eyes to meet his without words.

"You are going to be amazing Kelsi."

Her blue eyes met his as she took in his simple statement, all she could see was love and truth. It was almost as if Kelsi could feel confidence filling up her petite body as she received the encouragement and comfort from Ryan.

"I love you...so much." She said with utmost feeling, a tremble in her voice that had nothing to do with nerves.

"I love you too Kels." Ryan returned, as he wrapped her in another hug. With his lips pressed into her soft curls he whispered, "so much."

He placed another lingering kiss upon her lips, before sprinting backstage. Kelsi spun around, this time feeling more than ready to face the crowd that awaited.

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Lauren let out a ready squeal the moment she saw the top of Kelsi's head in the orchestra pit. Matthew shifted closer to his sister as he squinted to see the source of her excitement. A huge grin spread across his face the moment realization dawned.

"It's Kelsi!" He yelled, his voice echoing through the entire theater. "Kelsi...look Mommy, it's Kelsi!" Matthew cheered excitedly as he pointed towards his nanny. He shifted his gaze from Sarah to Lauren. "Look Lala, Kelsi is here!"

Sarah didn't know whether to be embarrassed by the scene her son was creating or laugh. As she noticed the ready smiles of the people surrounding her, she realized laughing was really the only reasonable choice. And as she watched Kelsi lift herself up from the pit and wave directly at her children, she could not have been more proud of her exuberant kids.

"Hi Kelsi!" Lauren and Matthew shouted in union, thrilled that Kelsi had greeted them in front of an entire audience.

Kelsi was seriously surprised she wasn't presently blushing...with all of the eyes on her, many of them confused and/or amused. But she wasn't nervous or embarrassed...no, she was filled with pride. As she waved at Lauren and Matthew she recognized that she was partly responsible for those amazing little personalities. As she felt her eyes make contact with Sarah's, gratitude seemed to be rolling off her in buckets. She softly mouthed the words "thank you" to the woman who had welcomed her not only into her home, but into her family. She knew the gratitude was returned when she saw the soft smile grace Sarah's features, a smile filled with such love.

Kelsi's eyes drifted to the row in front of Sarah, Lauren and Matthew. A huge laugh escaped her as she took in her friends. They were all there, every single one of them. And they all were wearing expressions of such happiness and love. Kelsi's eye caught Jason's as he was squeezing his way between Zeke and Taylor, he had been back stage with Martha prior to the show. He rewarded her with a huge thumb's up signal as he shared kisses with the girls and high five's with the guys.

Kelsi focused on the kids once more before blowing a parting kiss which they promptly caught. She then turned around, sat down at the piano and let the familiar waves of comfort fill her body. There was no doubt in her mind that she could do this. And not just "do this"...but thoroughly kick some ass. Her focused eyes met the other members of the orchestra for about a second before she started to play. And play she did, Kelsi didn't think she had ever played a more perfect score. In fact, she would go as far as to say, "it was practically perfect in every way." Especially when it was accompanied by Ryan's performance as Bert. He was absolutely stunning.

Kelsi didn't think the evening...or life for that matter could become any more phenomenal.

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Lauren and Matthew pushed themselves through the throngs of people as they worked their way backstage. They were just about to reach their destination, when a large body came out to block their way.

"I'm sorry, but this is a restricted area."

A frustrated Lauren blew some wispy bangs out of her eyes before beginning to answer. "What's restrict-" She cut off her question the moment she saw who had issued the warning.

"Charlie!" She shouted, launching herself into his waiting arms. "You were being silly weren't you?"

Charlie let out a deep laugh as he cuddled Lauren, before placing her back down upon her feet and giving her brother the same greeting.

"Who me? I would never be silly." Charlie replied jokingly.

Matthew just laughed, loving that he was in on some sort of inside joke. While Lauren rolled her eyes and muttered Charlie's name under her breath.

"That's exactly how I feel sometimes Lauren." Reilly said, as she walked up and put a loving arm around young girl, before having Matthew throw his little wiggling form at her.

As Reilly gave Matthew Eskimo kisses, Sarah and the Wildcats met up with the already waiting foursome.

Charlie walked right up to Sarah and gave her a welcoming hug.

"It's good to see you again Sarah."

"Hi Charlie." She replied, returning the hug and placing a kiss on Reilly's cheek. "It seems my son is still in love with your girlfriend." Sarah supplied in a teasing manner.

"And his girlfriend loves your son right back." Reilly announced, loving the feel of a child in her arms.

Charlie looked up to greet the huge group of visitors; he recognized Jason, but that was about it.

"Hey Jase, who are your friends?" he asked, interested.

Jason shared a handshake with Charlie before introducing the group.

Charlie and Reilly both took in the visitors names and appearances, as they worked to place who was who with the descriptions Kelsi had given. They were both forced to admit, Kelsi had been pretty spot on and thorough. This was especially true as the saw a very blond and very...pink woman push her way to the front of the crowd.

"Excuse me, could you please direct me towards my brother?" Sharpay asked, her voice seemingly coated in cotton candy as she looked right over Charlie and Reilly, her gaze searching for Ryan.

"Wow, you must be Sharpay." Reilly stated. "Your brother's description was quite...accurate." She deadpanned.

Sharpay paused to focus on Reilly, her brown eyes holding a blank look before a smile spread across her features.

"Awww...that's so sweet." Sharpay replied, before letting out a shrill yell. "Ryan!"

Zeke gingerly made his way up to his fiancée, a smile on his face the whole time.

"Sweetie, there's no need to yell. He will be here shortly, I'm sure." He placed his arm around Sharpay's shoulder, effectively turning her around to face the rest of the people waiting. "Notice all of the people here, they are all waiting to see Ryan too."

"And Kelsi." Matthew supplied. "We are here for Kelsi too."

Chad let out a laugh at Matthew's comment.

"Dude, I love that kid." He exclaimed.

Matthew responded by gifting Chad with an enormous smile.

"Thanks dude." He replied cheekily.

Taylor couldn't help the snort that escaped at Matthew's comment. "You know Chad, I can definitely see why you two are fond of each other. You are like two peas in a pod."

Ryan and Kelsi were walking towards everyone in time to hear Taylor's last comment.

"Chad and Matthew...you know, I could definitely see that." Ryan said, before sharing greetings with everyone. All the while, his arm securely around Kelsi.

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Kelsi was waiting patiently for Ryan at Pequod's Pizza. They had all decided to go there to celebrate after the show. Well, everyone but Sarah, Lauren and Matthew; the kids had already been up past their bedtime. Ryan had wanted to run home first to shower and change and Kelsi had elected to go with him, but had been persuaded by Taylor and Gabby that they needed some girl time. So now she was sandwiched between two of her best friends, trying to concentrate on what they were saying in order to keep her mind from worrying about what was taking Ryan so long. She seriously thought their pizza was going to be delivered to the table before he arrived. And that was saying a lot because the pizzas took a little over 30 minutes to prepare. Kelsi attempted for what seemed like the hundredth time to pull herself away from her worries and focus on what Taylor was saying.

"I have to admit, I didn't think Chad would enjoy "Mary Poppins" as much as he did. It seems there is an even bigger kid stuffed inside his body than I thought." Taylor stated.

"Hello, I am right here...sitting next to you." Chad interjected with a grin. "And hey, don't knock that play, it had been deep man. Dude, Troy even cried."

"Chad, I did not cry." Troy defended. "I had something in my eye." He faced the table as he told the blatant fib, daring anyone to disagree with him. As he turned to meet Gabby's warm gaze, a soft smile spread across his lips. "Okay, so I cried. I loved the movie as a kid and it struck a chord with me."

At his confession the table erupted into laughter...all except Kelsi. Sharpay glanced at Kelsi from across the table. She knew why Kelsi was worried, and she would be lying if she said she wasn't starting to get a bit nervous herself. Something was wrong. Sharpay didn't know what, but her gut was telling her that something wasn't right. She could tell Kelsi felt the same way, but was trying to ignore the feeling. Sharpay however, wasn't one to ignore anything, especially when her innate twin senses were acting up. Meeting Kelsi's eyes from across the expanse of the circular table, Sharpay inclined her head slightly towards the bathrooms.

Kelsi didn't need to be told...or signaled twice. At Sharpay's nod, she leapt up as though her chair had been on fire, following Sharpay towards the restrooms at a brisk pace.

Sharpay couldn't help but smirk at Kelsi's reaction. The girl certainly wasn't one for subtlety. She rolled her eyes, as she noticed the whole group attempting not to look over to see what had caused both women to flee the table.

"For someone so small, you can certainly acquire everyone's notice." Sharpay commented.

Kelsi had the grace to blush at the blond's comment, especially after she looked in the direction of their table and noticed all of her friends trying to act like they weren't interested in what she and Sharpay were talking about. Well everybody but Jason, he seemed oblivious to the art of being inconspicuous.

"Sorry, you made the motion to speak privately and I didn't really think about anything but that." Kelsi explained before continuing. "So what's up?" She asked, hoping beyond hope that Sharpay would mention Ryan.

Sharpay wasn't going to disappoint.

"Somethings wrong with Ryan." She answered matter of factly.

Kelsi let out a relieved sigh, grateful she wasn't imagining things.

"You felt it too?" She asked rapidly. "I was worried I was just overreacting."

"Kelsi, when have you ever overreacted?" Sharpay scoffed lightly, a blunt honesty to her tone.

Kelsi just stared at Sharpay like she had grown an extra head. "Hello, a few years ago, remember when I ran out of your house, out of Albuquerque and out of Ryan's life when he announced his engagement to Amanda. True, I had a right to be angry, but even I can admit _that_ was an overreaction."

Sharpay started nodding her head as she softly puckered her lips in thought.

"That's true, that was definitely an overreaction. God Kelsi, that was like something I would do....very dramatic for you." Sharpay stated in a reflective manner, losing her track of thought for a moment.

Tilting her head to the side, Kelsi peered at Sharpay, her eyebrows raised in question.

"You know, if you are trying to make me feel better...you are not succeeding." Kelsi started. "Besides we are getting a bit off track."

Sharpay immediately snapped back into attention. "Oh right...we were talking about Ryan...in the present sense that is." Sharpay supplied. "I was just going to tell you that you should go get him."

Kelsi was already buttoning the gray knit sweater she had worn into the bar.

"I'm on it." She said, starting to back out of the bar, before pausing to turn around. "Oh, and Sharpay?"

"Yes?" Sharpay asked, her brown eyes alight with question.

A soft smile washed over Kelsi's features before she answered. "Thanks, I really appreciate your support."

The two women shared a wordless moment, as their eyes seemed to do all of the talking.

"No problem Kels."

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Ryan was just about to leave for Pequod's, when a knock sounded at his door. Figuring it was Kelsi or Sharpay wondering what was taking him so long, he didn't even stop to look through the peephole before opening the door. The visitor wasn't Kelsi...or Sharpay. His feet seemed cemented to the floor as his gaze took in the woman standing in front of him. All he could do was stare dumbfounded as the woman walked briskly into the room, seeming to take up every crevice available.

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Kelsi was just nearing Ryan's door, when a feeling of dread filled her body. She didn't know how or where the said feeling was coming from, but she knew her emotions well enough to sense dread when it occurred. Her breath started to come out in gasps as she almost had to force her fist to knock on Ryan's door. As the door slowly swung open, it was almost as if she knew. Before even fully seeing the person on the other side of the heavy wood panel, she knew what awaited her.

An almost crippling chill coursed through her body as she came face to face with the woman who had started it all...the catalyst to so much of her previous pain.

"Hello Kelsi, I wish I could say your arrival was a surprise. But then you always seemed to follow Ryan around like a lost puppy."

The cold voice whipped the smaller woman like a piece of sharp ice. Kelsi wasn't expecting to respond, she honestly didn't even know if she would still have her voice. That is why she was just as surprised as the tall brunette standing in front of her when her voice filled the entrance.

"Hello Amanda."

_**Cliffhanger....don't be too mad guys. I promise the next update won't take as long...I have already started working on it and hope to have it up sometime Wednesday. And just remember...my stories always end happy.**_

_**Oh, and I don't own "Mary Poppins"...even though it was my very favorite movie growing up.**_


	19. Chapter 19

_**Sorry about the cliffhanger guys. I know Amanda's return came as quite a shock to some of you...er...most of you. But it was planned the whole time. (And to those of you who know me and my writing style, that is saying something, because I never plan anything...I tend to just let the writing take me wherever it goes, until I get the feeling the story is coming to an end.) But Amanda's arrival is integral to Kelsi's growth...I really felt it important to take her character full circle. (Since she made such a drastic choice in choosing to leave in the first place.)**_

_**So, I hope you are happy with the confrontation and with this chapter.**_

_**Just a little heads up...things are going to get a little steamy at the end of this chapter and I use a curse word...but I just couldn't seem to help myself...it was as if it was asking to be written.**_

_**Thanks as always for reviewing and for simply reading my story(ies). It still floors me that anyone would even be remotely interested in anything my mind decides to create...or embellish...since HSM unfortunately does not belong to me. I really appreciate all of your continued support and inspiration.**_

_**So, without further ado...I will get back to writing this little ditty.**_

Kelsi felt as if her feet had instantly sprouted plant like vines that had decided to root themselves into the ground. Even if she wanted to flee, she was suddenly unable. Taking a deep breath, she allowed herself a moment to look at Amanda and take in any changes. Her wide blue eyes clouded slightly as she realized the taller woman seemed older and somehow unhappy. Kelsi pondered the later thought for a moment, had she always looked that unhappy...miserable even? Kelsi had always noticed the hard ice-cold air that surrounded Amanda, but her mind had never drifted towards the possibility of unhappiness. The revelation gave Amanda an almost more human air..._almost_. The huge mean streak the woman possessed cut off any real possible sympathy the small composer would have normally felt. But even the possibility, that slight fleeting thought, that in another situation, at another time Kelsi may feel sorry for the woman who had caused her so much pain...somehow that changed everything for Kelsi. It was as if the scales had been tilted and Kelsi was suddenly looking down at the genetically taller woman.

Because the thing was, Kelsi was happy; despite the familiar fears and nerves that had immediately entered her body upon first sight of Amanda.

Kelsi figured that was perhaps the odd thing about fear, once it was recognized and even dissected a little bit, it had the power to just fade away. And that was what happened. As Kelsi stood there, waiting for the familiar fear to rear its metaphorical ugly head, she recognized that she would be waiting there for quite a while, because it wasn't coming back.

She had moved on...with Ryan, but without the baggage of Amanda.

At the thought of his name, Kelsi's still somewhat surprised eyes met Ryan's apologetic ones. And Kelsi knew, he wasn't sorry because anything had happened, because she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt, nothing had occurred between the ex-spouses. No, as she looked into her lover and best friend's eyes, she knew he was sorry she was dealing with Amanda at all. He was sorry Amanda was still even an issue between them. A small giggle escaped Kelsi's lips as she realized Amanda wasn't an issue...she wasn't anything, she was just...there.

Ryan didn't know exactly what was going on inside Kelsi's head, but he knew it was something extraordinary. The plethora of emotions that seemed to be washing over her features were like a complexly beautiful water-color painting. And as he heard the small laugh escape her, his love for her grew to an even greater degree...and he honestly had not thought that was possible. Obviously life with Kelsi was going to be filled with miraculous surprises.

Amanda just stood there stock still, watching the wordless scene play out between Ryan and Kelsi. Something was wrong, Kelsi wasn't reacting at all how Amanda figured she would. She had come to Chicago the moment she had heard through the theater grapevine that the two ex-friends were exploring a deeper relationship. A fight had seemed to fill her very soul. While it was true she did not necessarily want Ryan anymore, the thought of loosing him to the little mouse who had haunted every aspect of her marriage seemed unbearable. She had been certain she could sway him back into her good graces, that is until she had seen him. They hadn't been in the room alone for more than a few moments, but she had known, just in that short amount of time, he was no longer within her control. And that realization had filled Amanda with not only anger, but more so a heavy desperation.

And then Kelsi had walked in...as if on cue. Amanda had been expecting the same little quivering idiot who didn't have the backbone to stand up for an ant...let alone herself. But what she got...frankly, Amanda wasn't even sure who Kelsi was anymore...but she was...different.

"What happened to you?" The words flew from Amanda's mind to her mouth before she even thought to control them.

Kelsi's smiling gaze shifted from Ryan to Amanda. Once again she waited for the familiar waves of fear and the loss of her voice, but it didn't come. The only thing she felt for Amanda when she looked at her was a sense of pity. Kelsi's eyes widened at that revelation...God, the realizations seemed to be bombarding her at a rapid pace. She shook her brown curls lightly, as she worked to bring herself out of her mind and into the present.

"I'm sorry, what did you say?" She asked, her voice sounding...normal.

An anger started to fill Amanda, she didn't like this...this wasn't how it was supposed to go. That thought kept filling Amanda's head, so much so that her breath started to escape in gasping breaths. She was quickly loosing control.

Ryan, recognizing the signs of this, shifted slightly closer to Kelsi. He wanted to be there in case she needed him, but he also knew...could sense, she needed to handle this part on her own. So he stood there, ready and supportive, his loving gaze never leaving Kelsi, while his reflexes were ready to jump between the two women if necessary. Kelsi may have discovered a new-found strength, but Amanda was still bigger.

Amanda worked to control her rapidly increasing upset as she focused in on Kelsi.

"I said, what happened to you?" She replied coldly, her voice raising with each passing word. "You are different." She winced as she recognized the tiny trace of fear that filled her later statement.

Kelsi stared at Amanda, the whole while aware of Ryan's presence beside her. She knew he was waiting for the slightest signal from her signifying her need of him. She simply placed her hand out lightly, within a second she felt Ryan's strong and capable fingers weave their way around hers. And at his simple touch, her confidence grew to an even greater degree.

Focusing back on Amanda, Kelsi answered the question.

"I am happy Amanda." Kelsi stated simply. "And I'm in love with a man who loves me back." Kelsi took a moment to look at Ryan as she felt his fingers flex in hers. "I guess that's the difference. Before I didn't think I had a chance at love, almost as if I didn't deserve it..." Her voice trailed off as she realized the truth to her words, that had been the real reason she had run years ago...the fear that had overwhelmed her and poisoned the love that was trying to break free. "But the thing is...I do, I deserve it." She said simply. "In fact, everyone does...even you."

Amanda reared back as though she had been physically slapped...what the hell was the little twerp saying...that she pitied her? As she felt her eyes beginning to water, Amanda bowed her head down...there was no way she was going to cry. She would not show a weakness like that. She briskly wiped away the few stray tears that were suddenly finding their way down her cheeks. At that moment the only thing important to Amanda was escape...she had to get out of the room, as fast as possible.

And without uttering another word, she dashed past Ryan and Kelsi, threw open the door and ran as if death itself was on her heels.

Ryan and Kelsi stood their for a moment, their hands entwined tightly together, holding their united front as they listened to Amanda's heels rapidly click down the hallway's marble floors...it almost sounded as if an ice pick were steadily chipping away at a block of frozen water.

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The feeling of anticipation and dread had not left Sharpay. She was well aware of the fact that she should let Kelsi handle finding Ryan, but...well...she quite simply was not patient enough to sit there waiting at the restaurant like some trained poodle. So she had made excuses to her friends and Zeke...excuses she knew they did not for one minute believe and left on her quest to find not only her brother, but Kelsi too.

She was just getting ready to exit the elevator to Ryan's awaiting floor when she came face to face with the last person she thought to ever see again. As Sharpay took in Amanda's flushed and tear-streaked cheeks, she felt like she was in some other dimension...a dimension where Amanda and Kelsi had suddenly switched places. Skimming over her shock regarding Amanda's appearance, Sharpay got right to the point.

"What the hell are you doing here?" The blond asked, a harsh edge to her voice. She recognized that Amanda looked terrible, but frankly, Sharpay didn't care overly much about that fact. The woman standing in front of her had made her brother's life a living hell...as far as sympathy was concerned, Sharpay didn't have much, if any for Amanda.

"Isn't it obvious, I was just _attempting_ to leave." Amanda said, trying to force a cool edge to her voice and failing miserably.

Sharpay set aside her outrage and anger for a moment and really looked at Amanda; she looked like her very soul had been ripped from her chest. Sharpay's brow furrowed as she wondered what the hell had just happened.

"You look like shit." Sharpay stated bluntly. True, she was aware it was a low blow, but she couldn't seem to help herself.

A watery laugh escaped Amanda at Sharpay's comment.

"You know, what you are dishing right now is way tamer than what I just left." Amanda retorted, meaning every word, and happy to feel some icy humor filling her up again.

"What happened in there?" Sharpay asked, motioning to the door.

At her question she saw a vulnerability enter Amanda's features. Sharpay's brown eyes widened as she realized, that whatever had happened in that room, somehow, Amanda was exiting the injured party. Which meant Ryan and Kelsi were still in there...alone...together. A huge smile spread across the blond's features at this realization.

"She stood up to you, didn't she?" Sharpay may have posed the statement like a question, but she already knew the answer before a word was uttered from Amanda's mouth.

Amanda was done conversing, pushing roughly past Sharpay, she made her way into the elevator. As the doors began to close, she offered Sharpay a simple statement.

"She's changed."

Sharpay waited until the elevator doors closed, before letting out a joyous and relieved laugh.

"Go Kelsi." She said under her breath. She stared down the hallway, contemplating whether to interrupt the two love birds or not. Without hesitation, Sharpay stepped back into the elevator, gingerly pushing the button that would bring her to the waiting lobby. She had not known what she had been expecting when the elevator doors opened. But she knew it was not all of the Wildcats waiting in a close group.

"What are you guys doing here?" She asked, her voice incredulous, as she walked up to give Zeke a kiss.

Zeke stared at his fiancée, the ever present love evident in his eyes.

"You didn't think we were going to make you face whatever was waiting upstairs alone did you Princess?" He said softly, just loud enough for the others to hear.

"Yeah, remember, we're all in this together." Jason said, edging his way towards the elevator doors, a cheesy edge to his voice as he used his fingers to initiate quotation.

At his comment everyone huddled together let out a loud groan and rolled their eyes...only Jason could think of an asinine thing like that to say.

A smirk touched Sharpay's lips, as she actually responded to Jason's lame but lovable joke.

"Actually Jase, if you even attempt to step foot upstairs I may have to kill you." She stated sweetly. "I think it is safe to assume Ryan and Kelsi have this one covered."

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Ryan wasn't sure how long he and Kelsi had been standing there, holding hands, their backs to the door. Their bodies were not tense or ready, but completely calm. He stole a glance at his girlfriend, only to find a bemused expression on her face.

"Would now be a good time to tell you that you were amazing?" He asked, never breaking their position, waiting for her to make the first move.

Kelsi turned to look at Ryan, never once breaking the chain of their hands.

"I wasn't expecting that Ryan, it just spilled out of me." Kelsi began, a nervous and excited ramble making the words almost tumble out on top of each other. "I don't know what I had been expecting exactly...but not that...anything but that." Kelsi paused, her hand tightening on Ryan's as she took a deep breath. "But then I saw Amanda...and you...and there was just....calm...and peace...and I was okay." Kelsi paused once again in her recollection. "Does that make sense?"

Ryan let the question hang in the air a minute, as he led his girlfriend towards the sofa in the middle of the room. He sat down, not giving Kelsi any time to think before he pulled her into his lap. He let his arms hug her to him, as he lightly brushed his face against her hair, letting the fruit filled fragrance fill his senses as the silky tresses brushed softly across his lips. Would he ever get used to how much he loved the woman in his arms? He didn't think so. Every day with her was like a newly wrapped present...one you couldn't wait to open and enjoy. She was excitement, joy, kindness, loyalty and love...oh, she was the epitome of _love_.

Kelsi looked over at Ryan, patiently waiting for the answer to her question. She watched as his blue eyes brightened, as an internal monologue seemed to play across his face. Forgetting her previous question, she raised her fingertips to gently trace the line of his brow.

"What are you thinking?" She asked softly.

Ryan's hand tenderly cupped Kelsi's cheek as he leaned in slowly to place a soft kiss upon her lips.

"I am thinking about you and how much I love you." He answered simply.

"Oh? And how much is that?" She teased, enjoying their playful banter.

"Honestly Kelsi, there aren't enough words to express it." He said gently, his lips moving in to brush light kisses over her cheeks, before moving down her neck. Kelsi let out a half sigh, half giggle as Ryan reached a sensitive spot at the junction between her neck and shoulder.

"Oh God...Ryan..." She sighed.

"Yes?" He said, just as breathless as her.

Kelsi manged to get out a "don't stop" before taking Ryan's lips in a drugging kiss that left both of them fighting for breath.

Hands started to roam and clothes started to shuffle, as Ryan and Kelsi faught to get as close as they possibly could to one another.

Kelsi paused for a moment, breaking her lips away from Ryan's.

"Wait...wait..." She managed through gasping breaths. She faught to control her train of thought as she felt Ryan's lips moving sinfully slow down her collarbone. "Oh good God." She groaned, trying to remember what it was that seemed so important a moment ago. "I have something t-to...say." She expelled the last word on a drawn out sigh, as Ryan continued exploring her.

Ryan lifted himself away slightly...but not too much, attempting to focus on what Kelsi was deeming so important. He honestly couldn't think of anything more important than what his lips were previously doing.

"What is it baby?" he asked, his body feeling as strung as a finely tuned guitar. He couldn't seem to help himself, as his hands started to move over her again.

"What about the...p-pizza?" Kelsi asked, referring to Pequod's as she struggled to catch her breath; letting out a full blown moan as Ryan moved her over bodily to straddle him.

A devil-may-care smile crossed Ryan's features as he shifted Kelsi over his body.

"Fuck the pizza."

A gasp caught somewhere between a laugh and moan escaped Kelsi, as surprise washed over her at his comment.

"Ryan Evans!" She said, her voice holding a sense of mock outrage, as she bent down to kiss her boyfriend. "You know that was kind of sexy." She said shyly, her sky blue eyes alight.

It was Ryan's turn to be surprised as a laugh escaped his body.

"Kels...you haven't seen anything yet." He promised, before picking his girlfriend up and carrying her towards the bedroom.


	20. Chapter 20

_Wow...hi guys! So sorry it has been so long. Here is the finale…thanks for being so patient. I really appreciate all of the support I have received from all of you, please know that._

_This is for Lee…I miss you._

**1 year Later...**

Kelsi stood in front of the tiny vanity in her bathroom, her small hands poised above her head as she tried to work the braids through her unruly curls. Her frustrated gaze drifted to the magazine clipping taped to her mirror, the perfectly _tall_ model with her perfectly _straight_ hair seemed to have no problem getting braids to stay in _her_ hair. With a breath of dismay that sent some curls flying in an upward motion Kelsi roughly pulled the attempted braids out of her hair.

"It's fine, who says you need braids anyway? Ryan has always liked your hair down. For some unknown reason _he_ likes crazy puffy hair." Kelsi paused, deciding not to spend too much time thinking about the fact that she was currently having a conversation with her own reflection.

In the last year, she had found that the odd quirks that made her her were...well...okay. She knew Ryan would say her said quirks her "beautiful" or "fabulous", Kelsi felt she had come a long way by classifying them as "okay." As she studied herself in the mirror, she noticed that she did look, well, beautiful really. And the beauty, it had nothing to do with hair or any other outward feature...it was inside of her. It was happiness, and not just partial or "almost there" happiness, but real full-fledged bursting within her happiness. A glow seemed to permeate not only her being, but also everything around her. In short, Kelsi was pretty sure that if some psychic were to walk through her front door, they would be well bowled over by all of the positive energy closeted within the small confines of her apartment. The thought put a spontaneous smile on her face, but she didn't see it, because her thoughts were already jumping towards the evening she would soon be sharing with her boyfriend.

_Her boyfriend_. While Kelsi had definitely had the time to get used to the idea, it still never ceased to amaze her. And quite honestly she hoped it never did. Because she never wanted to take Ryan or their relationship for granted. If she could spend every day feeling that sense of amazement, that would be ideal. And deep down in her heart Kelsi knew, every time she thought of Ryan or saw him smile down into her eyes...every time she was lucky enough to hear him say he loved her...

A tear silently filled the laugh line of her smile because she knew there was never going to be a time when she did not appreciate the blessings he brought to her life. Ryan was filled with so much light and goodness, it would be pretty near impossible not to take notice of the positive effect he had on not only her, but everyone.

A giggle escaped her as Kelsi's fingers gently lifted her glasses to wipe the tear away. Without even meaning to, her eyes fell to the clock of her cell phone.

"Oh crap!" A small squeal escaped her lips as she made a mad dash for the door, grabbing her coat, hat, purse and scarf along the way. A mumbled apology left her lips as she accidentally bumped into one of her neighbors on her way down what seemed to suddenly be a rather long hallway. The minute she burst through the main entryway door, a strong gust of wind almost sent her back through the doorway. With a determined grunt, Kelsi braved the wind...which of course had to be blowing directly against her, and took off sprinting down the sidewalk, her coat and scarf providing the impromptu tail to the human kite she currently resembled.

By the time she reached the elevated train, she still had yet to put on all of her wind blown accessories. She quickly turned the corner, poising herself to barrel up the many intimidating steps, only to run smack dab into a brick wall. Well, at least it felt very much like a brick wall. However, once she felt the warm arms come around her in a hug she knew it was actually the very firm and comforting chest of her boyfriend.

Kelsi looked up, a natural smile already alighted her lips before her eyes even met his.

"Ryan." His name came out as a statement, before her head bowed down with a lightly shy laugh.

Ryan's eyes couldn't seem to get enough of the slight young woman presently taking up residence in his arms. He let her settle easily into his hug as he took a moment to bend into her and let her teasing curls tickle his nose. The warm scent of vanilla filled him as a slight sigh left his lips.

"Hey Kels." He said lightly into her hair. "You didn't actually think I wasn't going to pick you up did you?"

Kelsi looked up with a smile before gently kissing her boyfriend, their lips hesitant to drift apart. "I wanted to try and surprise you and for once pick _you_ up." She said by way of explanation.

"What? I think not my dear. After all, it is not _my_ birthday." Ryan stated, giving her sides a loving squeeze. He paused a moment, before gently taking his fingers and lifting up Kelsi's chin. "Besides, you don't have to _pick_ me up. Haven't you figured it out yet Kels, you've always had me." As if with a will of their own, two pairs of lips met in a somehow equally romantic and passionate kiss. Ryan's previous statement covering them in a blanket that seemed to repel the Chicago winds. As if even nature knew, that even when they had been lost and sad, they had still found comfort in the memories of one another.

Ryan's lips left Kelsi's with a mumbled, "By the way, happy birthday baby."

"Thank you Ryan." She said, her words hanging between them with more meaning than grateful birthday wishes. "I love you, have I told you that yet today?"

"You tell me that with your eyes every moment, but I always appreciate hearing the words." He replied with a kiss on her cheek. Moving his lips lightly to her ear he whispered, "And by the way, I love you too. So much."

Her only reply was a joyful smile.

"Now, how about we get going young lady, we have dinner reservations for 7 o'clock."

Kelsi moved to automatically start up the still waiting train stairs, only to realize Ryan was not following her. Turning around she found him scooping up all of her hastily dropped and forgotten items from earlier. "Ohmigosh, I completely forgot I wasn't wearing all of that!" She exclaimed with an embarrassed laugh.

Ryan's laughing blue gaze met hers'. "Really? Well, I'm quite flattered Miss Nielson."

Kelsi easily slipped into the coat Ryan was holding open, letting him place the items in there rightful places, giggling as he playfully tweaked her nose after placing her hat atop her head at just the right angle. "Flattered huh?" Kelsi pretended to think the response over before laughingly stating "Perhaps you should be."

"Is that so?" Ryan played along, taking her hand in his and leading her up the stairs.

Kelsi turned her head towards Ryan, looking quite coy as they easily made their way onto the train and sat on a pair of seats. "Well, this really good looking blonde haired guy tells me I am quite extraordinary."

Faking an aghast expression, Ryan looked at her. "What, who is this man? Doesn't he know you far surpass a mere "extraordinary." I think I am going to have to have a talk with him."

Kelsi laughed as she settled comfortably into her designated spot in the crook of Ryan's shoulder. She lifted his hand up to her lips and gave a spontaneous kiss to his knuckles. "I love you," she whispered softly before settling into a warm silence where she gently traced patterns into Ryan's hand and his hands whispered through her curls.

The train ride seemed to literally whiz by, perhaps because Kelsi was so contently happy, relishing the warm cocoon of Ryan's embrace. The date had hardly even begun, and she already thought it qualified as "perfect.

As Ryan led her up the stairs (their destination took them from elevated trains to the underground variety) and into the fading light of the fall sky, Kelsi took a deep and rejuvenating breath. She smelled leaves changing and a variety of foods competing for her attention, Lake Michigan's breeze making everything even more pronounced.

Kelsi looked up at Ryan, her hand held protectively in his, her cheeks blushed with wind and anticipation. "So Mr. Evans, where exactly is this surprise destination?"

Ryan looked down at her while still managing to steer them competently around bustling traffic containing people, taxis, cars and buses. "If I told you it wouldn't be a surprise anymore now would it?" He teased, while still guiding her.

A tiny wrinkle formed between her brows at his answer, as under her breath she mumbled, "Surprises make me nervous."

Ryan instantly halted; he had long ago learned to decipher Kelsi's mumbled "he's not supposed to hear this" phrases. His hands came up to gently caress her cheeks, delicately forcing her gaze to his. They stood there like that, completely unaware of the frustrated people trying to worm around the suddenly prone couple in the middle of the busy walk way. "Kels, you know by now I would never do anything to make you uncomfortable." This was a statement rather than a question. "Please trust me, I want tonight to be absolutely perfect for you."

"I trust you Ryan," Kelsi laughed, "obviously I trust you."

"And luckily you don't have to wait too long for your answer…" Giving her a quirky grin Ryan brought Kelsi around the corner to their destination.

Kelsi's gaze scanned the restaurant and the only word for it was magical. A beautiful glowing garden surrounded it as huge floor to ceiling windows showed a warm light from within. In curving almost teasing letters the word "Rhapsody" was prominently placed.

"Wow." Kelsi stood there, mouth slightly agape as she took in the almost whimsical feeling this place brought from within her.

Ryan couldn't contain his pleased smile. "You like?"

Kelsi tore her gaze away from the restaurant to look at him. "Like? I love it! I haven't even been inside or tasted the food and I already know I love it." She paused for a moment. "Wait, there is food in there right?" It almost looked too much like an enchanted garden or fairy forest to have something as simple as food.

Ryan didn't even try to contain his laughter. "Yes Kels, there's food. Come on, let's go in."

The aroma hit her as soon as she walked through the door; the varying flavors all somehow meshing to make so many superb smells. Suddenly Kelsi felt her stomach growl.

Ryan moved behind her, placing his hands possessively around her middle. "Hungry huh?" He grinned into her ear.

"You heard that?" Kelsi asked, an embarrassed blush crossing her features.

"Don't feel bad, the smells are affecting me too, I currently have a pool of saliva forming in my mouth."

Kelsi pushed herself away from him, before turning around and laughing. "Ryan, that's gross."

"Hey, I'm just being honest. If I can't speak my inner most possibly humiliating thoughts with the woman I love who can I share them with?"

Kelsi dissolved into pleased giggles as Ryan led her towards an intimate table near the windows overlooking the gardens.

Taking in a surprised breath Kelsi turned to look up at him as he held her chair for her. "This is beautiful." She quietly breathed the statement as she slipped into her chair, letting her hands slightly brush Ryan's.

Ryan sat down across from her and looked right into her eyes. "You are beautiful."

Kelsi felt like he was talking to the inner most parts of her self, the parts that made her everything she was…things she loved about her person and things she was sometimes less than pleased with. But in that moment, when Ryan said the words, she felt beautiful. Everything within her seemed to glow, as she realized for about the 100th time how much Ryan not only loved her but saw her.

"I love you Ryan." She said softly, willing her eyes to give him back everything he constantly gave to her.

"So much." He finished her sentence, using her own words to share his feelings. His simple two-worded response was just as, if not more powerful than a whispered back "I love you."

At that moment the waitress came to the table to take their order. Kelsi wasn't even sure what they ordered, she was so enamored. She heard Ryan ask her a question, heard herself mumble a "sounds good" before quickly getting lost in him again. She watched as Ryan animatedly spoke to the waitress. She saw the way the light glow of the restaurant's ambiance seemed to give his blonde hair an almost golden quality. And she could have sworn she saw bits of radiating energy around him, as if everything beautiful and shiny just couldn't help but bask in the warmth that permeated from her boyfriend. She worked to bring herself out of her revelry and focus on Ryan. The night had such a mystical quality to it, she didn't want to get stuck in her own thoughts, she wanted to live tonight to the fullest.

"So, what do you think?" Ryan asked, a hint of reservation to his voice. It was so important that tonight be absolutely perfect. He knew, of course he knew that Kelsi would love the restaurant; he could tell that the first time he had seen it. I mean come on, that's why he picked it. And he had basked in the beauty she presented when her face had lit up in amazement. As if the building was almost too magical to walk into, the kind of place that was reserved for people with glittery wings connected to their backs. It was the magic that had driven him to pick this destination. He wanted; no he needed Kelsi to feel that magic. To feel the same magic he felt whenever he was around her.

Kelsi looked across the table to Ryan, trying to find the words to describe how she felt at the moment. "It is spectacular Ryan, the sort of spot that makes you feel…" She paused, struggling for the appropriate words…"That anything is possible."

I slight breath left Ryan, followed by a slow moving smile. "I am so happy you feel that way," he said, moving to take her hands, "that is exactly how I wanted you to feel Kels. Like you and I could do and be anything together."

A small tear trailed down Kelsi's cheek unnoticed, as she stared at Ryan, her eyes glassing over, her feelings completely moved. She was still working to grasp his words when all of the sudden she saw him get up, still holding her hands tightly within his and move to kneel beside her chair. Her eyes became huge, as more tears started to flow as if on their own violation. "Ryan, what are you doing…" Her breath was coming out in gasps. "Down there." She finished, pointing towards the ground where his single knee had taken up residence.

Ryan didn't break his gaze, his blue eyes seemed to penetrate hers showering her with all of the love he had to give. "Kelsi, I have a really important question for you?"

Both were completely unaware of the gazes and mumbling words coming from other guests around them, they were so focused on one another.

Kelsi wasn't exactly sure what drove her to it, but suddenly it became imperative that Ryan not be on the ground alone. Without taking a moment to think about her action, she lightly slipped out of her chair and was soon kneeling on the floor across from him.

Her action took Ryan completely by surprise, a laughing grin came across his face as the tears he was working to hold at bay started to fall freely. "Babe, what are you doing?" He asked, referring to her decision to join him on the floor, that wasn't exactly how he had pictured his proposal; she was supposed to be in the chair.

"I don't know." She gasped out. "It just didn't seem right to have you down here while I was up there." She paused, trying to speak through shock, tears and love. "I-I needed to be near you, close to you, as close as possible." She paused again to take off her glasses and wipe some tears away with the back of her hand. "It just feels right." She said with finality.

"Okay, I am not going to argue with that." Ryan stopped to wipe his own tears away, his gaze catching Kelsi's and both of them erupting into watery laughter, still tightly grasping each other. Reaching into his pocket he pulled out a ring…

But Kelsi didn't even see the ring, she was so focused on him, all she could see, all she could take in was him. The soul and spirit of Ryan just seemed to envelope her. She was looking into his beautiful eyes when she heard the question.

"Kelsi, will you please do me the great honor of becoming my wife?" Tears were falling rapidly from Ryan's eyes as he said the words; he had never wanted anything more in his life than he wanted this.

The tears were clogging her throat to such an extent that the words would not come. She just kept nodding as sobs racked her body. She clung to Ryan, her hands clasped to the back of his head. Her mouth was right next to his ear, when she was finally able to whisper a meaningful "yes."

Ryan just held her. He wasn't sure how long they knelt there, holding one another, feeling one another. He knew her answer before her nod or her whispered yes. He had seen it in her eyes the moment he knelt in front of her. He alternated between rubbing circles on her back to weaving his fingers through her hair, as he waited for her breathing to normalize. It was then that he became aware of the applause. He knew the moment Kelsi became aware too, because suddenly she was trying to burrow into his chest. He swiftly scooped her up, positioning himself into her chair, still cradling her in his lap. "You know, there is a ring." He said softly.

Her watery gaze lifted to his, and he was once again blown away by the love so readily apparent within her features. Genuine surprise filled her eyes. "Oh, I am so sorry." She said her hands wandering the familiar planes of his face. "I was so swept away by your question I forgot all about a ring."

He didn't know it was possible, but he felt himself swelling with even more love for the petite woman sitting so naturally in his lap. He reached around her slightly to show her the ring.

Kelsi had never seen anything so beautiful and…shiny. It was like a kaleidoscope of sparkles filling the room with even more light. "It's beautiful, oh Ryan, it is absolutely beautiful."

"It was my Grandmother's. I thought of buying you a new one, but then, I don't know, I kind of loved the idea of something older, something that already had a story. A happy story, a story that we would build on and that someday our grandchildren or great grandchildren would expand. " He explained as he slipped the ring onto her finger. "I obviously made the right choice because look," He smiled, looking from her eyes to her hand and back again, "It's a perfect fit."

Kelsi moved her hands up to Ryan's face, once again tracing his features, letting her fingers move over his brows and gently coast his lips. "You're right, we are the perfect fit." And then they were kissing…and kissing…and more kissing. In fact they didn't stop kissing all night.

However, somewhere between all of the kissing they were able to make one important phone call. They decided on just one, because for the rest of the night they wanted it to be about them and their love. The rest of the calls could wait until tomorrow. They held their ears to Kelsi's phone waiting for the recipient to pick up. On the third ring a loud voice burst into their ears, causing them to move the phone back a bit.

"KELSI!" Matthew's booming voice filled the phone. "I knew it was you Kelsi because of the caller ID." He stated proudly.

In the background Ryan and Kelsi could hear Lauren clamoring to get on the phone while Sarah's laughter filled the room. Soon they recognized that they were on speakerphone.

"Hi guys, how is your date?" Lauren asked in her best big girl voice.

Kelsi stole a secret look with Ryan before she answered. "It has been amazing." She breathed. "And actually we have an important question to ask you and your brother."

"I'm right here!" Matthew yelled. "The brother is right here." The three adults could not help but laugh at Matty's response.

Kelsi nodded slightly as Ryan spoke into the phone. "Well it seems Kelsi and I are going to be in need of a flowergirl and ring bearer."

The question was met with silence for about a mili-second before cheering and screaming erupted on the other end. Lauren was answering with a resounding and screaming "YES! YES! YES!" Sarah was offering heartfelt congratulations. It was only Matthew who was being somewhat silent. (A real feat for the little guy.) As the revelry died down, Matthew's voice could be heard very clearly, "Um…I can't be a ring bearer, but I will be your police officer or fireman." He stated matter of factly.

Ryan and Kelsi erupted into spontaneous laughter. Kelsi had to wipe under her eyes before answering the little love. "How about ring security Matty? That way you are like an undercover police officer?"

Matthew took a moment to relish the spotlight as his sister pestered him to "just say YES!" Clearing his throat dramatically he stated, "That sounds perfect!"

And it was.

_Thanks again you guys. Love, Jen_


End file.
